Duke fans, beloved by everyone.

I was thinking just the other day that while this NCAA men’s basketball season had been pretty exciting, what with No. 1 teams dropping like flies each week, what we really need is a good scandal to besmirch one of the most successful teams in college hoops history. If only a certain rabid fan base that is widely viewed as a legion of self-entitled rich kids would step forward and reclaim its crown as the nastiest of the nastiest.

What’s that, Duke’s Cameron Crazies? You say you’re ready to do just that? Well, you’re going to have to convince me of that.

Duke fans reportedly chanted, “How’s your grandma?” at N.C. State’s Tyler Lewis, whose grandmother recently passed away. That’s messed up.

— Alex Kennedy (@AlexKennedyNBA) February 8, 2013

Damn. That’s messed up if it’s true. Fortunately, aside from writing inflammatory titles to posts so people get sucked it by irrational rage, I’m a pretty fair and balanced bro, so I want to take a look at some video first before I lay down my hammer of ultimate galactic justice.

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There have been a lot of videos that exemplified the Cleveland experience — the “Factory Of Sadness” and hastily-made tourism videos among them — but none quite so beautifully as this one. In it, quote, “Dude sticks his head in a 5 gallon bucket of piss for $450″.

Barry over at Deadspin provides further analysis:

We were tempted to call this scene a microcosm for the Browns’ year, but then the Browns went and won the Battle of Ohio. But you know what? Phil won too. He won $450, and now some internet fame. So we’re confident in saying this: a man sticking his head in a bucket of piss, then getting paid for it, is absolutely the Browns’ 2012 season.

Also providing analysis is YouTube user “DJA216,” who gets to the heart of the matter:

I keep going back and forth on whether I think Piss Bucket Phil is smart or stupid for dunking his head in a group of peoples’ bodily waste for money, because on one hand he’s earning almost $500 for less than a second of work, but on the other, holy shit dude, how did your life end up here? All of the moments, triumphs and mistakes of your life have led you here, to a video of you bobbing for turds on the Internet.

Sorry, Cleveland. One day you’ll have something better to show American than this.

UPDATE: Here’s a clearer video. You know, uh, if you wanted to watch it.

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The 2012 MLB Home Run Derby took place last night in Kansas City’s Kauffman Stadium (the one with the fountains), and if you were like most people you had a passing interest, got bored, then spent a little time on Twitter trying to make Chris Berman’s incessant “BECK BECK BECK BECK BECK” thing funny. You have have compared him to a chicken. It happens.

In the event that you didn’t have seven hours to kill watching dudes congratulate themselves, we’ve collected all the important moments MLB.com would allow us without expressed written consent … that includes a pair of monster home runs, Robinson Cano getting a reaction that made Yankees fans break out their shame fingers and a Royals fan who gets greedy and nearly ends up drowned in the fountain. It was all the fun you’d expect from a home run derby, only it took seven hours.

Up first, here’s Robinson Cano getting his feelings hurt:

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The Miami Heat came hard. LeBron James told everyone who called him “un-clutch” or “non-clutch” or “that dude who doesn’t win sh*t” to kiss his ass. The Eastern Conference Finals are now tied at 3 after the Boston Celtics laid down like speed bumps, and everyone who thought it was a done deal for the Celtics is now back-tracking in the worst way, including the most loyal Celtics fans.

The fans at the Jungle spent money. They expected a win. When it didn’t happen, they became… well, sports fans.

As James left the court with his 45 points and 15 rebounds, some Celtics fans let him know exactly how they felt. By that, I mean they dumped a beer on him.

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Yo, you got any other pics of her on your phone?

We’ve had some great conversations here in the past about baseball fan etiquette and, more specifically, what is right and wrong when it comes to little kids and foul balls. Last night in Arlington, we witnessed yet another classic “What would you do?” situation, when Texas Rangers first baseman Mitch Moreland flipped a foul ball into the crowd and it was caught by a couple. Seated next to that couple was another couple with a young son, who proceeded to cry like all holy hell was raining down because he didn’t get that ball.

Obviously, since I wasn’t at the game, I don’t know exactly what happened, but between Twitter and SportsCenter endlessly analyzing this incident, I have formed an opinion… Little dude needs to suck it up and be a man.

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>=(

Basketball can be a divisive game, but from Larry Brown Sports comes a story we can all enjoy — a guy spends thousands of dollars on front row seats to Wednesdays Knicks/Nets game in New Jersey, decides he’d rather text than pay attention to what’s happening on the court and catches a Tyson Chandler pass to the face.

Full video is below.

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