In a story that threatens to destroy Twitter, former Chicago Bulls second banana legend Scottie Pippen went on ESPN’s Mike and Mike (and mike) in the Morning this morning and said, and I quote (because I don’t want to type it myself):

“Michael Jordan is probably the greatest scorer to ever play in the game. But I may go as far to say Lebron James may be the the greatest player to ever play the game.”

To put this into perspective, imagine if John Stockton went on The Today Show and said Karl Malone was okay, he guesses, but he wishes he could’ve passed the ball to Tom Chambers more often. Imagine if Chico Marx could somehow communicate from the grave about how much funnier Jeff Foxworthy is than Groucho. Imagine if Laurel said f**k Hardy and teamed up with Costello. This is the situation Scottie Pippen has put us in. And that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of how full of a horse’s sh:t he is, or how angry Kobe Bryant should be about being the B.J. Armstrong in Pippen’s comparison.

I’m no basketball analyst, and living in Cleveland for four years turned me into exactly the kind of LeBron James fan you’d expect, so I’m not going to pretend to invalidate Pippen’s opinion. If he thinks Zydrunas Ilgauskas could lay up a mudhole in Kareen Abdul-Jabbar, so be it. But come on, man, saying LeBron is better than Jordan? LeBron isn’t even the best player on his team. What’s next, Benedict Arnold looks like he could end up being a pretty great leader?

This is NOT going to end well.

Ravens second-round pick Sergio Kindle may have a hard time getting the boatload of money he’s striving for in the rookie contract he’ll eventually sign if he continues displaying coordination that mirrors that of mine at the age of 5 (Okay, and at the age of now). Kindle was visiting his home in Texas when he decided that it would be best for him and his family if he headed downstairs. Unfortunately, his stairs had other plans.

The Ravens’ first pick in the 2010 draft fell down two flights of stairs at a home he was visiting in Austin, Texas, according to information released by the team on Sunday.

Kindle, the University of Texas product, is being treated at University Medical Center Brackenridge in Austin and will be unable to report to training camp with the rest of the Ravens’ rookies on Monday.

“We understand Sergio is stable at this time and that he is being tested and observed,” Ravens general manager Ozzie Newsome said. The Baltimore Sun reported that Kindle has improved the last few days and is expected to make a full recovery. -Fanhouse

How can you fall down TWO flights of stairs? Wouldn’t there be a small landing there to ensure that this is impossible? Was he lying in a crumpled heap at the first landing as his concussion addled brain told him, “Ah, I fell down one already, why not go for the set?” What probably happened is he fell down one, realized, “WHAT THE HELL, nobody saw that? IT WAS AWESOME!”, then decided to recreate his fall on the second one to garner the attention he so desired. Alas, he also gained a mildly severe brain injury along with it. Good luck explaining your predicament to Ray Lewis, champ. Read the rest of this entry »