Last month, Brock Lesnar showed the world that he was back and completely unaffected by life-threatening digestive intestinal disease by taking a Howitzer to the prairie and exploding the sh*t out of some groundhogs. The next step to recovery, logically, is a return to fighting — in a story breaking literally right now, Brock’s return to Ultimate Fighting is set, and he’ll be taking on former Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion “Demolition Man” Alistair Overeem.

From USA Today, by way of a post about 40-minutes ago on the UFC’s Facebook page.

Brock Lesnar and Alistair Overeem will clash at the end of the year for the right to a title shot, the Ultimate Fighting Championship said Tuesday.

Lesnar-Overeem has been scheduled for Dec. 30 in Las Vegas, UFC told the Los Angeles Times and confirmed soon after via Twitter. The match-up pits two of the top four heavyweights on the USA TODAY/MMA Nation consensus rankings.

The winner will get a title shot, according to the Times.

Overeem, as part of the “telling the Los Angeles Times” part of that blockquote, explains why this should be a good fight:

“Brock is a big name, a dangerous guy, and this is a dream matchup,” Overeem told The Times on Tuesday, just after signing a standard UFC fight contract in the office of Chairman Lorenzo Fertitta. “Brock’s a big guy, an exciting wrestler with his takedowns.

“I want to see this fight myself. Overall, I’m a different fighter. A striker, athletic, big. These are going to be two big trucks going at it on a collision course.”

I want to see it, too. Lesnar is a monstrous sort of man who looks like the living equivalent to one of the Goombas from the Super Mario Bros. movies, but Overeem is just as nasty, standing 6-foot-5 and weighing 260 pounds. We’ll be sure to keep you posted as the particulars roll in, and when Brock figures out which ethnicity Alistair is and starts slurring it as much as possible.

[h/t Cage Potato]

Why I’m Happy: The Cleveland Indians are going to compete! The Tribe added Kosuke Fukudome (yeah 3 home runs YEAH .260 BATTING AVERAGE) and sorta-ace Ubaldo Jimenez to bolster the line-up and push them back ahead of the Tigers before it’s too late. Sure, we had to give up our entire farm system and our prized Pomeranian (and we got that farm system by trading away all of our good players a few years ago), but hey, it’s now or never. It’s Tribe Time Now Or Never!

Why I’m Unhappy: Friday was our July edition of Free Fantasy Baseball With DraftStreet, and as per usual I dropped about 20 spots to finish 91st out of over 200. I’m in the upper half, but still, I think the Indians get worse every time we do these. Friday they lost 12-0 to the stinking Royals, and the guy who won had Billy Butler and Alex Gordon on his team. Welp! Thanks again to everyone who played, and here are the readers who won money.

On to the links~!

Sports

We’re All A Little Jealous Of Philadelphia Sports Teams Right Now - I mean, I’M not, but I could see why YOU would be. Tomorrow they’re going to announce that the Philadelphia Flyers have invented time travel and come back through the wormhole with teenage Wayne Gretzky and some sort of weird future cyborg Gordie Howe. Why did the Phillies need to add All-Stars? They’re an American League team playing in the National League already. [Smoking Section]

#Podcast: The Patrick Willis Interview - Be sure not to miss Punte’s podcast interview with Willis, where he asks him what it’s like to play in the NFL and then suddenly quits. In all seriousness, I feel like I keep having to say goodbye to Josh and that sucks, because I shouldn’t have to once. Good luck in your future endeavors, Punter, you’ll be missed. [KSK]

Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Hendrson Live Results and Commentary - I should start doing The Best and Worst of MMA Pay-Per-Views. Best: Fedor getting trounced in the first round and saying the ass-beating was God’s Will. Worst: Literally everything else. [Cage Potato]

Lily Anderson - She counts as sports! Our last post on Friday was about her performance of the Star-Spangled Banner at an Atlanta Braves game, and after struggling all day to have something worthwhile to say they were nice enough to link back to me on her Facebook fan page. So go “like” it, because it’s probably the one thing you can like on Facebook that makes you a better person. [Facebook]

With Leather

The 2011 U.S. Air Guitar Championship - I can’t think of anything weirder or lamer than this and I’ve been watching pro wrestling for like 30 years. It’s like a bunch of guys got together and decided to act like The Darkness, but didn’t want to get paid. [With Leather]

The Montreal Expos Are Dead, Long Live The Montreal Expos - Montreal wants baseball again and I’m all for it, as I want baseball and stadiums and mascots all over the damn place. Also worth reading is Nick Dallamora’s The Mouse That Never Roared, written way back when the Expos spirited away to Washington. [With Leather]

Carmelo Anthony Holding A Panda Bear? Carmelo Anthony Holding A Panda Bear - I’m getting a hang of these UPROXX titles. [With Leather]

Jay Cutler Faked It - … or so says Kristin Cavallari. Linking this here because it’s been online long enough for weird girls who are oddly defensive of Laguna Beach to find it and start leaving comments like ONLY THEY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHY DON’T YOU GET A LIFE AND A REAL JOB AND STOP WRITING even though I just copy-pasted most of this from a gossip website. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Scarlett Johansson Declines Marine’s Invitation To Ball - which makes sense, because she’s declined my invitation to ball about a thousand times. Unpopular Opinion: Marines need to stop guilt-tripping celebrities into doing things. [Film Drunk]

Avengers Cosplay - More women should dress like Mockingbird. I’m a little disappointed that this gallery isn’t full of hot girls dressing like Ultron, but that might be a fever fantasy I’ll never live to see. [Gamma Squad]

Spoiler Alert: Parks & Rec Has Cast Tammy 1 - The only way I’m okay with this casting news is if they explain how Ron and Tammy met with “We found each other. We found each other in the dark”. They should’ve been like “Community” and stunt-casted the sh** out of this. Let Oprah or some lesser form of Wendy Williams be Tammy 1. [Warming Glow]

Internet Explorer Users Dumb, Says Science - What’s next, a study revealing that people still using their @AOL.com e-mail addresses in 2011 are functionally illiterate? Yeah, we know all this. Science used to be for important things. When I was growing up they were all SCIENCE CREATES SPACE SHUTTLES AND UNLOCKS THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE. Now science is just a more boring version of Encyclopedia Dramatica. [UPROXX]

The Legend of Zelda and the death of Len Bias are both pushing 30 years old. I should’ve filled today’s Morning Links to articles about the Challenger Explosion and Hands Across America and called it a meme. Are things that happened a long time ago a “meme”? Oh who am I kidding, everything is a meme. Everything’s collectable, and everything’s a meme.

Sports

The Heartbreaking Potential of Len Bias - I remember how sad this was when it happened, even if I was barely old enough to know what “basketball” was. The only thing funny to come from it is those reports of people being all, “he’s like the new Michael Jordan!” when Jordan had been playing for like 20 minutes. [Smoking Section]

‘Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum’ Live Results and Commentary - Well, they aren’t really live results now, but you get the idea. Here’s my review for Strikeforce: “the guy started fighting, and now he’s lying down. Hup, it’s over.” And that would STILL be better than WWE Capitol Punishment. [Cage Potato]

Your Guide to the 2011 Pick-Up Basketball Season - I just wanted to note for public record that the one time Jon and I actually got out to a park and played basketball, I won. I have also beaten him at Words With Friends and RBI Baseball. [SBN]

Who is to Blame for the Rioting? - Because Mondays are always sort of drab and exhausting, go back to the middle of last week and read a thought-provoking piece from Burnsy. Thoughts provoked include “what the hell is wrong with these people?” [Brandon's Website dot Org]

Not Sports

Robin Williams Sells Zelda - Three things to know: (1) Robin Williams has a colossal beard for some reason, (2) there is a new version of Ocarina of Time coming out, because money, and (3) Robin Williams has the cutest f**king daughter ever. [Gamma Squad]

The Hyper-Minimal Movie Posters of John Taylor - This minimalism thing is for the birds. I didn’t complain when everything on Cartoon Network started looking like Powerpuff Girls, so I guess I won’t complain now that the Jurassic Park poster is just a black square with a yellow circle in the middle. James Franco’s imaginary art isn’t that far from the truth. [Gamma Squad]

‘The Last Circus’ Looks Insane - Theory: Vince hated Super 8 for the same reasons he thinks this movie looks great. I find that my Killer Klowns From Outer Space aren’t really receptive when I show them Field of Dreams, either. [Film Drunk]

Mac from ‘It’s Always Sunny’ Gains 50 Pounds - …because “fat people are funnier”. Hey Mac, you want to be funnier? Put down the cheeseburger and write funnier episodes. [Warming Glow]

A week has passed, and it’s time to reveal the winner of and answers to the Lugz sponsored With Leather MMA Tattoo Trivia Challenge. This week’s winner is Michael Hickey, who was the first to send in a perfect 25. It turns out most of you have no idea who Eben “Big O” Oroz is, despite him looking like MMA’s closest living relative to Team Rocket. Not surprisingly, everybody got Brock Lesnar, even though I didn’t include his hyper-masculine chest penis.

If you sent in a guess (or are just curious as to who in the world would get these tattoos on their bodies), click through the slideshow and take a look at who we chose to represent the cool, weird and sometimes terrifying world of athlete tattoos. If you won this contest (or the previous contests), your prize is getting shipped out today.

This is the part where I walk by holding a sign that reads “Please Buy Lugz© Brand Boots.” Enjoy the answers.

Read the rest of this entry »

Who is that on Alan Belcher’s shoulder? The Blob? Francis, from “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure?” Wait, I think it’s supposed to be Johnny Cash. Man, I should’ve just put up a big picture of Alan Belcher’s arm and given a t-shirt to whoever guessed “Johnny Cash.”

But we’re going to do better than that. How about a t-shirt? With Leather has teamed up with the fine folks at Lugz to bring you part three of our Stupid, Awesome & Cool Tattoo Trivia Challenge. If you can click through the images and identify the MMA fighters based on their tattoos (and trust me, if you’ve ever seen these tattoos before, you know who they’re on), writer down your answers and send them along to me at infernaldinosaur@gmail.com. This one is a little bit harder, so we’re giving you a full week: get your answers to me by next Wednesday, and maybe you’ll be the winner.

And don’t forget: if you’re wearing Lugz shoes when you go to the tattoo parlor, you will at least leave without anybody drawing skulls on your feet.

Read the rest of this entry »

UFC has officially announced the purchase of rival mixed martial arts promotion, Strikeforce, with all sides (all eight of them) “looking forward to working together for the greater good.”  UFC President Dana White called MMAFighting.com video interviewer (and friend of the late, great FanHouse Pro Wrestling) Ariel Helwani into his office on Saturday and broke the news.  It’s surprising that the company would be able to keep something of this magnitude a secret for this long, and the purchase is sure to be the MMA story of the year, at least until Triple H shows up at an MMA event and gives Cain Velasquez the stink-eye.

UFC co-owner Lorenzo Fertitta said:

“We’ve long admired Scott Coker and the Strikeforce business he launched and developed. We feel that together with Scott, we can continue to build both Strikeforce and the UFC. We intend to operate Strikeforce as a separate business much like we did with the WEC for many years. We look forward to working with Scott Coker and the entire Strikeforce and Showtime teams to continue to provide quality content for mixed-martial-arts fans.”

Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker added, “Aaaaaaaaaaaah” before being kicked in the chest and knocked into a large, circular pit.

According to reports out of Zuffa headquarters it’s “business as usual” for both organizations, with Strikeforce being run as a separate entity for now, although I wouldn’t be shocked to see them book an invasion angle where guys from Strikeforce show up and act all threatening before the UFC guys squash them.  Regardless, this should restock the promotion’s talent shy roster with a new batch of little tattooed bald guys who are just as mad as Hell~.

[MMAFighting]