Whereas 2011 was a high point in investigative journalism with the Jerry Sandusky and Bernie Fine cases, 2012 is clearly the year of streaker news. Already, our good friend Jon Bois at SB Nation has been keeping incredible track of the baseball season’s early abundance of streakers – most notably in Baltimore – but last night’s game between the Cardinals and Phillies at Busch Stadium marked the pinnacle in the journalistic attention to naked dudes.

Between our other good friend Matt Sebek from Joe Sports Fan and Yahoo! baseball writer Jeff Passan, we were given a clinic on how you cover and investigate a naked man on a baseball field. Thanks to Passan, we know that last night’s Busch streaker is 22-year old Jefferson Cirty landscaper Collin Grundstrom – talk about a Yard Crasher! *slide whistle* – and we also learned that he rushed the field for the most important reason of all – why the f*ck not?

“I’m gonna streak,” he announced at the beginning of the St. Louis Cardinals-Philadelphia Phillies game to those within earshot of Section 133, Row 5, Seat 4. At first, they chuckled. Then they started to believe him. Which was followed by attempts to dissuade him. And ultimate acceptance that, yes, Grundstrom was gonna streak, and it was only a matter of when.

“He was very nonchalant,” said Sheila Welch, a Cardinals fan who sat behind Grundstrom. “I tried to tell him he’d go to jail. He didn’t care. I hope his friend thinks that was awesome.”

The most important aspect of this story – even more important than that incredibly well-taken banner image – is that Grundstrom has a large tattoo across his midsection and Passan also pointed out that it reads: “Hakuna Matata”. It means no worries for the rest of your life, except when a fat security guard is Tazing you.

Video after the jump, via Joe Sports Fan, and while it’s taken from a distance, it is still a naked dude so use your discretion.

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Fewer things have worn out their welcome over the past decade than streakers at sporting events and terrible Borat impersonations. So when a fan dressed as Borat ran on the field during yesterday’s soccer football match between Dorchester and Havant & Waterlooville we reached a new low in idiotic fans. Security lollygagged as the fan ran circles around the field, so thankfully one of the players stepped up and dropped the fan like a sack of bangers and mash.

With the match tied at 1-1, Dorchester’s Ashley Vickers, who has a man’s name despite what my elementary and middle school classmates may have believed, did what the lazy security guards refused to do and chased the fan down, grabbed him by the arm and shoulder and threw his neon-bikini-wearing ass to the dirt. And while the crowd cheered and players from both teams seemingly defended Vickers’ actions, he received a red card and was ejected. Dorchester went on to lose 3-1.

As for Vickers, he couldn’t believe it, guvna…

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Streaking at sporting events is a great tradition, like starting the wave or women in their 40s showing their jugs at a REO Speedwagon concert. But it’s generally something that has to be done with great care, because there are certain elements involved that could be greatly affected. Namely, genitalia. That’s why I see this video that is going viral on the intertubes as a wakeup call to would-be streakers out there.

The next time you want to run naked to interrupt a tennis match at the local YMCA, use your brains. Or at least use your eyes, because that window is as plain as day, dumbass.

Video after the jump…

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Pittsburgh Penguins point producer Sidney Crosby had scored in 25 straight games heading into last night’s tilt with the New York Islanders. In hockey, an individual “point” can be either a goal or an assist, and the Croz had registered one of those in every game his team had played since November 5th. But last night, despite 26 minutes of ice time, overtime, and a shootout, Crosby’s streak came to a halt.

“That wasn’t me. It was a complete team effort,” [Islanders goalie Rick] DiPietro said. “The defensive corps played with a lot of focus and a lot of heart. When we’re playing smart in our defensive zone, we’re a good hockey team.”

“It would’ve been nice to keep things going, but it was one of those games,” Crosby said.

–Y! Sports.

Oh, by the way, the Penguins won lost that game, 2-1. I’ve made it plainly known that Sidney Crosby is not my favorite player in the game right now, but 25 straight games with at least one point is impressive. But on the other hand, losing it to the Islanders is almost equally unimpressive. We’re nearly back to zero, but I give credit where it’s do, even if Dr. Seuss claims credit for the headline of this post. Screw Dr. Seuss. I bet his mustache sucks.

Take this video as a precaution not to stray too close to the next furry convention in your town. These guys can move. Maybe they’re starting to make their costumes with breatheable fabrics along with dickholes, or something. Either that, or this is the most athletic furry fetishist of all time.

The footage comes from last month’s Hong Kong Rugby Sevens. Quite an impressive feat by the guy in the cat costume. His friend just quits right at the outset, but Kitty Cat Man jumped from one goalpost, dashed to the middle of the field, danced around with the ball, then put some impressive jukes on security to make it to the stands on the other end. Also nice was the decision of the officials at the stadium to be playing The Pretenders Proclaimers “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” while the action transpired. With the courage gleaned from his flight from security, no doubt that there is no distance Kitty Cat Man would not cross to be in hirsute arms of his beloved in a centaur costume. I guess maybe that’s hooves then.

The new home of the New York Mets got its cherry popped last night when an unknown fan jumped onto the field from the first-base side, letting it all hang out. He slid into second base and then surrendered to on-field personnel in shallow center field and was escorted out. He’s already a better baserunner than half of the Mets’ roster.

Sports Rubbish has multiple angles from different YouTubes, but the most fun is the one shot by the streaker’s best friend, seen above. The guy couldn’t have been happier, joyfully exclaiming, “That’s my [boy]!” It’s good to have close friends; that streaker might have a lot fewer of them when it comes time to pay for that citation.