As I’ve been scratching my head more and more over the idea that the NFL’s Collective Bargaining Agreement is being held up simply because Vincent Jackson and Logan Mankins are still demanding money, I got to thinking – the NBA is super screwed. The NFL should lift its lockout by the end of this week. I mean, it would take some serious stubbornness from two guys out of 1,900 NFL players to drag this thing out much longer. But the NBA? Has anyone even heard the word progress mentioned this month? Nope.

So what are we going to do, friends? When the regular season is scheduled to start on November 2 and the players and owners are still billions of dollars apart at the bargaining table (on which Dwight Howard will be planking) how are we going to fill that void? The easy answer is the NFL and college football, but some of us are really going to miss our NBA action. Think about it – no Blake Griffin dunking, Chris Bosh crying, Kobe Bryant scowling, Vince Carter napping, Greg Oden operating, Mark Cuban taunting, or any players sleeping with the women in LeBron James’ life.

To solve our little problem, I’ve traveled the world at length – but mostly just checked out my new favorite site, Oddity Central – to find us some replacement sports in case the worst happens and the NBA really does miss a season. (Spoiler alert: The NBA is going to miss the season.)

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