Pre-show notes

- Thank you for bearing with the semi-lateness of this week’s reports. I managed to attend SummerSlam live, so the report gets that cool live review feature some of you enjoy. The bad part about that is that SummerSlam is half a country and two time zones away from me, so I spent the entirety of Monday on a variety of airplanes. This report’s pretty long, though, so enjoy that, and I’ll have a thorough Raw report ready for you on Wednesday.

- Your comments, likes, tweets, Touts and whatever are appreciated. This column sorta lives and dies by your participation in it, so anything you can do to pitch in and spread the word is appreciated. Shout out to my Reddit homeboys, who I’d talk to all the time if I wasn’t 200 years old and could figure out Reddit. Somebody Reddit for me.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- If you read the report in its infancy earlier today, all the pages have been uploaded and the full thing is a thing. Enjoy!

So at long last, please enjoy The Best And Worst Of WWE SummerSlam 2012, sponsored by THQ. No, seriously.

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Via Facebook:

I spent every day of my 30′s puttin’ in hard work..

So today, I can turn 40 and say with a big ass smile..

I’m just gettin’ started!

As of this posting, that status has about 90,000 “likes”. Today is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s birthday, and if you haven’t been paying attention … he’s pretty popular.

To help celebrate Rocky’s milestone, we’ve compiled a loosely ordered list of moments, matches and Kung Pao Bitch jokes from his career. Whether you like him or you don’t, it’s hard to deny that he’s one of the most influential and entertaining performers in the history of pro wrestling … and one of two pro wrestlers cool enough to be a G.I. Joe. Three if you count The Fridge.

Happy birthday, Rocky.

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- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

LOLNFL2011: Week 12 - I hope Tim Tebow wins the Super Bowl. There, I said it! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Watch A Bunch Of Dogs Experience Sunlight And Grass For The First Time - Cried about this all day yesterday. People keep saying “so cute!” but no, not “cute” as much as “depressing as hell because I’m part of the species that does this to things”. [UPROXX]

Scene Breakdown: ‘Karate Dog’ - Still sad I wasn’t on the think-tank for this (I’ve got the DVD right here) but now I’m following Danger Guerrero @dangerguerrero so I won’t miss out on those opportunities again! [Film Drunk]

40 Awesome Straight-Up Nerdy Christmas Ornaments - The best is the guy who took a picture of the Spider-Man ornament while it was still hanging up at the Hallmark store. SMDH @ you, nerd. [Gamma Squad]

R.I.P. Patrice O’Neal - And yet Carlos Mencia has a new special on Comedy Central this week. Life has never been fair. [Warming Glow]

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 11/28: Get On Your Vegan High Horse And Ride - If you haven’t read this yet, you should. I make a comparison with The Miz that will destroy your ability to watch wrestling forever. [With Leather]

The Bottom Line? Five Classic Moments Missing From WWE’s New Stone Cold Steve Austin Documentary - See, I’m not the only UPROXX satellite that writes about wrestling. I would buy this DVD if I didn’t already own f**king three other Stone Cold Steve Austin DVDs. [Smoking Section]

The 20 Finest Fake Criterions For Really Sh*tty Movies - I love these and would buy almost all of them (especially Air Bud), but in what universe is Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey a “really sh*tty movie”? You’re watching movies wrong. [UPROXX]

Lady Gaga Totally Looks Like These Pigeons - And her last album is still terrible! Put the old people back in charge of you before I stop liking you forever, Gaga. [Buzzfeed]

‘A Dangerous Method’ and the Most Freudian Movies Ever - Does Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure count? He’s holding a corn dog when they’re at the mall. [Moviefone]

This Is the Stupidest, Most Brilliant Knockout Kick We’ve Ever Seen - That’s not Eddy Gordo, guys, that’s a motherf**king Koppu Kick. Jushin Thunder Liger would’ve lit this guy up. [Cage Potato]

This week’s edition of The Best and Worst of Raw is a little longer than normal, because sometimes the people in charge of pro wrestling decide they want to spend three hours doing what normally takes them two and what they could accomplish in one. WWE says the difference between a three-hour All-Star Raw and a normal episode is that superstars from the Raw and Smackdown brands come together for an exciting night of sports entertainment action! The actual difference is that during a three-hour Raw, you look at the clock and say, “Jesus, this is only halfway over?”

Next week is a three hour Raw as well, where fans get to vote on the matches and stipulations, because even WWE doesn’t want people paying money to see Capitol Punishment. Please enjoy 700 pages of The Best and Worst of Raw. At least it isn’t a slideshow!

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… somebody just told me it’s Tuesday afternoon, so that means we’re live on With Leather for the Best and Worst of Monday Night Raw! Unfortunately we still have to decide who will win Tough Enough, so let’s just sort of stand here ad-libbing and looking at them for several minutes. Your name’s Luke, right? Like in the Bible? Good ol’ BIBLE LUKE, ladies and gemen! Do you have what it takes to be a WWE Superstar? Yeah, you KNOW you’re the best! Each and every one of them have never seen someone like you, you know you’re going straight to the top. Sorry! You lost. We’re giving it to the guy with long hair.

His hair is long, Luke, what was I supposed to do?

R.I.P. Good Ol’ Bible Luke, 2011-2011

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Multiple-time WWE and TNA Champion Mick Foley is auctioning off some of his memorable pro wrestling accessories to benefit charity, including his famous “Cactus Jack” thumbtack-filled leopard-print boots, autographed books, and, yes, the sock he wore on his hand when he won his first WWF title. For those of you who haven’t spent a large chunk of your life watching wrestling, Foley is famous for pulling a sock out of his pants, putting it on his hand and stuffing it into his opponent’s mouth. Also, the sock has a face on it. Wrestling is weird.

The auctions are going on now, with “Mr. Socko” bringing in over $400 at the time of this posting. 100% of the proceeds go to RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, so if you’ve ever wanted to buy a size 52 Florida Marlins jersey or a leather wristband that has been in Stone Cold Steve Austin’s mouth (and who hasn’t?), this is the best and most helpful way to do it.

Mr. Socko is a WWE legend, so in honor of his passing and Foley’s generosity, check out this gallery of the most memorable moments in the career of a stinky piece of footwear, and the nice guy who always wore it incorrectly.

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