photo credi: ImpactWrestling.com

Hello lovelies! It’s been too long. I’ve returned from the land of gross and incapacitating illnesses, and I brought a Best and Worst with me! T-shirts were sold out. Sorry.

A few things:

- The Mandible Claw was also on hiatus this week, given that the only things I could do were self-medicate and not move from the warm, comforting embrace of my couch. You should still check it out, though! It’s gonna be a good week next week, especially if you enjoy Chikara (you should), and me not sounding like Marianne Faithfull with post-nasal drip (you really should; it was weird).

- Everyone likes Chris Trew, yeah? And everyone likes fake sex with willing imaginary participants, yeah? Donate to the Air Sex Championship Documentary Kickstarter. Or don’t. But it’d be great if you did. Chris Trew is nice, and I want him to have nice things.

- I like Twitter. Twitter is easy. It’s also easy to follow me here. Follow With Leather, because Brandon and Burnsy are fun dudes, and UPROXX, because everyone loves Simon Pegg gifs.

This week on Impact: Joseph Park, more Joseph Park, and some other stuff I guess.

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photo credit: THQ.com

Unlike the Kitana-costume-donning AJ Lee, whose 10 most beloved video games were featured on Monday, Kofi Kingston hasn’t made any big shout-outs to gaming culture on WWE programming. But much like Lee, Kingston is dedicated to the medium and was totally down to write and rank his favorite games before doing a countdown interview a while back. “The top 10 list is a big deal, so you didn’t have to ask me twice,” says the resident king of resourceful Royal Rumble spots.

Kingston’s life with video games began with the 1987 Commodore 64 title Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior. As a console player, he’s run the gamut. At first, his loyalty was strictly with Nintendo (he despised Sega), but his allegiance began to wobble when the SNES version of Mortal Kombat hit and substituted blood for sweat. Later, he was a fan of the original PlayStation. When he and Zack Ryder were going through developmental together, Ryder’s mom got her son an Xbox 360. Since Ryder wasn’t really into video games, Kingston bought the barely used 360 for a song and soon became an Xbox guy. Currently, he owns all three major consoles plus, as an episode of WWE’s YouTube series Superstar Toyz indicated, a 125-games-in-one arcade cabinet. “I guess that’d be pretty hardcore if you had to put a tag on it,” he says.

As of this writing, Kingston has disappointingly been given nothing to do for WrestleMania 29 on Sunday. If he doesn’t get a last-minute slot, this will mark the first WrestleMania without a Kofi match on the card since he debuted in WWE in 2008. Seeing as how he could especially use some love right now, let’s hand off the reins to everyone’s favorite ex-Jamaican to hear his ballot.

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Good morning! Or…good whatever time of day you’re reading this at! I hope you’ve had a lovely week. You look nice today. Let’s do a Best and Worst, shall we? First things first:

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On Tuesday, With Leather launched round one of the Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness Tournament, a 32-song showdown featuring some of the worst songwriting imaginable and brackets that don’t really make sense because the songs aren’t really seeded.

If you haven’t voted on the round one match-ups yet, you’ve got until Monday, March 18 to participate. If you aren’t intimately familiar with the songs featured or would like further analysis on the lyrics and why you should or shouldn’t pick them, I’m here to help: Best and Worst of Impact columnist Danielle Matheson and I put together an almost 90 minute analysis of the first 16 songs.

The intention was to cover everything at once and post the podcast at The Mandible Claw on Monday, but we got really into it, split it in half, and decided to post part 1 here today. You’ll want to listen: I sing Test’s theme, Danielle sings Rob Van Dam’s TNA theme, and we discuss how an asshole could be “always kicking asshole’s ass” more than ESPN talks about hockey.

So yeah, give the podcast a listen, and if it changes your opinions you’ve still got time to vote. And if you don’t vote? You’re gonna pay.

There it is. After the initial 16 entrants chosen by With Leather and the follow-up, fan-chosen 16, the first annual With Leather Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness Tournament has its brackets and is ready to begin.

Now comes the hard part: trying to decide which of these is worse than the other.

On the following pages you’ll find the match-ups listed above. You’ll be asked to reconsider the song lyrics and make your decision in the individual polls under each battle. Your votes will be the only thing deciding the winner, so vote early and pressure everyone you know to vote for your favorite entrants. Votes will count until Monday, March 18. I’m pushing for an American Males/Buff Bagwell showdown in the With Leather bracket, but I’m not gonna be aggressive about it. I also kinda want Kaitlyn to shock the world and take the whole thing.

Anyway, you made this happen, so now let’s make it big. If you don’t, Biker Taker will EXPLODE AT YOU~.

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Hello, lovelies! Welcome back to the Impact Best and Worst, unfortunately sidelines by a bout of food poisoning. If you’re not sure if you should eat it, and you do it anyways, you kind of get what you deserve, and I really, really did. A couple of notes, then we’ll get right to it!

- So The Mandible Claw is a thing I do now, and you should absolutely be checking it out. Besides the new weekly podcast featuring Brandon and myself, there are some great guest contributions that are more than worth your time.

- At the time of posting, there legitimately aren’t many videos up on Impact’s YouTube channel, so if you’d like to play along go to Spike TV for the full episode.

- Be sure to like us on Facebook, follow myself, With Leather, and UPROXX on the twitters, and share, tumbl, and comment your hearts out. We’ve got two weeks to get caught up on, and I know you all saw that AJ segment last week.

This week on Impact: Kurt Angle makes some questionable life decisions, Wes Brisco is allowed to hold a live mic again, and we finally find out who that D’Lo shaped member of Aces & Eights is! Tuck in, folks! It’s gonna be a long, poorly executed ride!

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