Thanks, Omar Infante, now that guy going the long way around to get a hot dog is soaking wet. (Via Cosby Sweater.)

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Links

20 Of The Creepiest Female Celebrities With Beards |UPROXX|

6 Reasons Being a 30-Year-Old Gamer Isn’t Always So Fun |Gamma Squad|

Steven Spielberg Plays with Laser Cats and Josh Brolin Anonymously Hosts ‘SNL’ |Warming Glow|

Seven Years Later, Sin City Is Finally Getting A Sequel |Film Drunk|

With Leather’s With Spandex Podcast Episode 1: Rachel Summerlyn |With Leather|

Coachella 2012: Watch Performances By A$AP Rocky, Azealia Banks & Childish Gambino |Smoking Section|

The Fat Betty Draper Song Is Finally Here And It Is Glorious |UPROXX|

Stop The Internet: Nick Offerman Handcrafts A Ron Swanson Bobblehead In His Wood Shop |UPROXX|

Ten Reasons To Revisit TRU’s “Hoody Hoo” Music Video |Smoking Section|

Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Looper Has A Trailer |Film Drunk|

The Catholic League Is Irate With Kate Upton |With Leather|

A Compendium of Cool Comics Cosplay: Super-Family Week |Gamma Squad|

“Gays Rule, Kirk Cameron Drools,” Says Forgotten Child Celebrities |Warming Glow|

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Links

Christmas Commercials from the 1950s and ’60s Are the Best - … but none of them are as good as that McDonald’s one. And the McDonald’s one isn’t as good as Peter returning home for Folgers. [Warming Glow]

Television’s Biggest Douchebags in 2011 - I’m not sure Glenn Beck qualifies as a “douchebag” so much as he does for “person who should not be allowed to say things on TV and influence people because he’s basically a televangelist and is making things way worse”. [Warming Glow]

The Prometheus Trailer Is Finally Here - I really hope this movie ends with Catwoman kicking Michael Fassbender in the nuts. [Film Drunk]

The KSK Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag: Aaron rodgers Is Going To Screw Us, Isn’t He - Probably. Tim Tebow isn’t going to screw us, though, he’s going to be a nice person forever. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Hollywood’s Hottest Jews: Some People Are Just A Little More “Chosen” Than Others - Yes, Alison Brie and Kat Dennings are amazing, but holy sh*t this article title. If I wrote “hollywood’s hottest jews” on something and published it I’d probably hang myself. [Pajiba]

5 Design Problems Video Games Really Need to Fix - Is “that frost dragon grabbing me with his mouth and shaking me around until I’ve died” a design problem? Because somebody needs to fix that one, too. [Gamma Squad]

5 Features That Will Make Me Buy The iPad 3 - One feature that will make me buy the iPad 3: my girlfriend’s angry face. [Smoking Section]

The 30 Craziest Facebook Stories Of 2011 - Also known as “cool story bro 2011″. None of these stories are as interesting as that picture I took with J. Worthington “Honest John” Foulfellow at Disneyland. [Buzzfeed]

MMA Gif Party: The Best Gifs Of 2011 - I can’t decide whether this list makes me like MMA more or less. Probably more. [Cage Potato]

The Most Awesome, And The Most Awesomely Bad, Metal Album Covers Of The Year - I can’t believe people still make metal albums. [FARK]

The Seven Best Steven Spielberg Movies - In order: Raiders, Empire of the Sun, Jaws, Jurassic Park, Schindler’s List, E.T., Always. Ha, just kidding on the last one. [Unreality]