Hey Steve, do that impression of Giants fans again.

In a move that can only be described as “F*ck you, that’s how we roll,” the Philadelphia Eagles signed former New York Giants receiver Steve Smith to a one-year deal yesterday, just one day after Giants coach Tom Coughlin implied that it was going to take some more time for Smith to play again after his microfracture surgery and that the team would be waiting on him.

Of course that means he was still a free agent and the Eagles decided they didn’t want the Giants to have him anymore. And of course Smith disagrees with the way Coughlin told it.

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Funny or Die has a knack for cramming as many celebrities as possible into three minute video, and today they’ve outdone themselves — watch in amazement has Ray Liotta, Kevin Costner, Dennis Haysbert, the Were-llama from Twilight and half of professional football bring you a Lockout-flavored sequel to the greatest baseball movie of all time, Field of Dreams. I’m guessing Haysbert is here because when the Funny or Die guys showed up at James Earl Jones’ apartment he attacked them with an insecticide sprayer and told them to go back to the sixties.

Watch the video below, but I have to warn you: the football players are all better actors than Taylor Lautner.

It’s weird, I know this is supposed to be a joke, but it still looks like a better movie than that remake of Footloose.

I love Kevin Costner at the end. He gives as little a sh** as possible, and he’s a good sport, but his voice and the look on his face say “I can’t believe you guys are making fun of this”. Lautner just stands there smirking, thinking about how awesome of a Crash Davis Robert Pattinson would be.

Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith has shown the occasional flash of questionable judgement over the course of his NFL career, but he seems to be right on the money with this assessment of his quarterback. Jake Delhomme received the oddest of pep talks when he returned to the bench after throwing one of his four interceptions Sunday:

“Hey, I know you feel like crap. I mean, you’re not a very handsome guy anyway, so. But, the performer, the quarterback … I never really liked you as a quarterback. But as a person, that’s who I love. I love you as a person.” via.

I really have no idea what this means, other than it’s Smith possibly suggesting that he and Delhomme run away to Hawai’i and get married. But yeah, Delhomme kinda sucks right now. And this guy just signed a $42 million extension in the offseason. Still, it’s nice to know that Steve Smith is always down for a little Bojanglin’.

Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith is just a little guy out there on the field with big, bad bruisers.  But that doesn't keep the All-Pro from punching his teammates in the face.  Today's training camp victim: cornerback Ken Lucas.

According to one witness, the two were arguing about a play that happened previously at camp and Smith slugged Lucas. A scuffle ensued and punches were thrown as teammates and coach John Fox charged in to break up the fight… Lucas was then taken under the tent at the practice field and treated by trainer Ryan Vermillion. His face was bloodied and he appeared to have a large gash under his left eye. He held ice on the eye for several minutes.

After the fight Smith seemed remorseful and distraught, exchanging a quick hug with Lucas before being escorted out of practice.  This is now the second time Smith has beaten up a teammate: in 2002, he punched fellow receiver Anthony Bright in the film room.  Wow, six years between incidents.  Someone has to stop this habit before it spirals out of control.

[FanHaus] 

I have to thank Grimey of LOL Jocks for bringing the union of Jake Delhomme and Bojangles Chicken into my life.  I did NOT expect to see a football blow up a shack today.

There's more Delhomme-y goodness after the More.., but I have to ask: is Jake still effective as a fried chicken and biscuit spokesperson?  I think Bojangles may need to give David Carr a shot at a couple commercials; Delhomme's completion percentage is terrible.

It's not often I miss a game of Monday Night Football, but that's precisely what I did last night. I was all gay and intellectual, spending the night reading and drinking tea.

As it turns out, that was at least 83% more exciting than the Bucs-Panthers game. The Panthers managed to play decent football for a half, which is about a half more than Tampa was able to put together, as the Bucs fell 24-10. Polish-Italian stallion Bruce Gradkowski looked more like a gelding last night, and I say that because horses aren't very good at holding onto the football or completing passes to their teammates.

Fortunately for Carolina, Steve Smith showed up, which is the one part of the night (other than Suzy Kolber's return) I'm sorry I missed. Smith caught 8 passes for 149 yards and a late touchdown, plus he was apparently puking into a trash can on the sidelines because he has the flu, which I'm really sorry I didn't see. I appreciate a good boot and rally. That's part of the reason why bulimic girls are so sexy. The other part is they're not fat.