Kate Upton is … rapping, I think? for Skull Candy. Big Boi has to record with Andre 3000 with a six month delay via satellite or whatever, but he’ll show up to help Kate Upton spit fire. Good to know. The full video for this “drops” on February 13, so until then, please enjoy Kate angrily taking off her jacket, because reasons. (via Sportress)

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Beyonce’s Publicist Is Going To Be PISSED When She Sees These Unflattering Photoshops |UPROXX|

6 Other Movies And TV Shows That Film In Front Of ‘It’s Always Sunny’s’ Paddy’s Pub |Warming Glow|

This Week in Posters & Stills: The Spring Breakers Bikini Team |Film Drunk|

Sports On TV: Community’s 20 Greatest Sports Moments |With Leather|

Jealous? Canada Gets Another Glow-In-The-Dark Dinosaur Quarter |Gamma Squad|

The 10 Worst Grammy Nominees For “Best Rap Album” |Smoking Section|

LOLNFL: Super Bowl XLVII Stuff |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson’s rap debut is here and it’s got all the football references you’d expect from a football guy rapping, including “she opened up her shirt like Cam New” and the oddly-appropriate-for-comparing-football-to-sex hashtag “lights out, Shawne Merriman”.

Additional sample lyric:

I’m sayin’ let’s
go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
I’m sayin’ let’s
go go go go go go go go go go go go go go

Players View puts it as bluntly as possible, saying Run It Back is “on-par musically with what’s out there with it’s rolling snares and sparse instrumentation”. In layman’s terms, that means “it’s not really great, but it doesn’t sound like Must Be The Money”.

Most of the references work, too, except for the one about how Johnson “Superman’d in her like Cam do”. If we’re going by the Soulja Boy definition of Supermanning a hoe, that’s not really something you can do inside of her. I think my favorite part is the direct comparison of vaginal penetration to Arian Foster. If we’re making Texasn references, I’m sad he didn’t let me on the track. I need somewhere to drop my dope line about being “rap’s T. J. Yates in the grass and the dirt/only here ’cause two other quarterbacks are hurt”.

I don’t want to be presumptuous, but is it safe to assume that a guy who orders, proudly displays and probably eats a birthday cake shaped like an enormous black lady-ass probably doesn’t have healthy relationships with women?

I can’t say for sure, but this is the 25th birthday cake of Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson, a 24-year old whose birthday isn’t until tomorrow. Flopping Out posted the pictures from his party and their found their way to Hot Clicks, and soon everyone will be able to enjoy the most urban version of Alive ever. I just hope the cake had vanilla on the inside, because nobody should want to eat chocolate out of an ass.

Personally, my favorite part of the cake is that the baker made a gigantic food ass but still put underwear on it. Is it too hard to bake a butthole? Couldn’t you just put a gumdrop between the cheeks and call it a day? Maybe we’ll find out soon on the grossest ever episode of “Ultimate Cake Off”.

[butt tip to Hot Clicks]

If you’re anything like me, you’ve got multiple restraining orders against Victoria’s Secret models and you vaguely remember watching ESPN’s “Dream Job” reality series, which lasted three seasons. Some would say that was four seasons too long. Still, scores of men tuned in, if for any reason, to ogle Kit Hoover’s hot little self in her post-Road Rules career. At the end of season 2, Dave Holmes ended up defeating some guy we’ll never hear from again to sign his 1-year deal with ESPN, drive home in his brand new Mazda 6 and reap the benefits of his newfound stardom.

Fast forward 5 years to today and Holmes is doing great as he’s fulfilling his lifelong dream of covering the Ohio State Buckeyes for 13 ABC in Toledo, which is also the home of Christina Williams, who I know nothing about but she’s pretty cute so that’s cool. Dave even went as far as to record his own special rap song to honor the OSU-Michigan rivalry this past Saturday, and it’s everything you could ever expect from a white guy from Ohio rapping. Even worse, though, I found out that Dave’s song is Punte’s ringtone. Pretty shameful, indeed.

But Dave’s efforts reminded me of how great the connection is between college football and music – more specifically rap – especially with enthusiastic fans and players. It’s no Source Awards, but boy is this collection guaranteed to bring some street credit…

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UPDATE: Vote in the ASYLUM poll: Would You Want Steve Johnson On Your Team?

Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson has been a very pleasant addition to two of my fantasy football rosters this season, but I guess it’s worth pointing out that Bills fans are pretty excited to have an actual playmaker receiver on their roster for the first time since some guy named Andre Reed was strapping on his Hall of Fame shoes. No offense, Eric Moulds. Off the field Johnson had been more of a quiet presence, as we didn’t hear much from the guy who racked up 3 touchdowns against Cincinnati in Week 11. Like any good wide receiver, though, Steve Johnson has a Twitter account and he’s now a star.

Last night, after Johnson dropped a game-winning touchdown pass from Ryan Fitzpatrick in overtime against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Steve sulked on the sidelines by himself, visibly distraught over his gaffe. He was shaken in the postgame conference as well, and the mistake will undoubtedly haunt him for the next few weeks. But after all was said and done, Johnson Tweeted his ultimate frustrations, calling out the man upstairs for not allowing him to catch the ball. That’s right, it’s all God’s fault.

Video of the drop and a closing sermon after the jump…