Fan songs — not just the ones people record in their garage, this includes the ones that are professionally produced — are almost always terrible. Ashkon’s ‘Niners In Paris’ was an exception, as is Serengeti’s ‘Don’t Blame Steve’, a stinging indictment of 100 years of Cubs choking from his Kenny Dennis EP.

From that album’s Pitchfork review:

Then there is “Don’t Blame Steve”, the Chicago Cubs anthem in defense of Steve Bartman, the fan whose interference in a 2003 playoff game indirectly led to the team missing their first World Series since the end of World War II. Using the Cubs 8th inning Game 6 collapse as the setting, Serengeti/Kenny indicts 100 years of franchise futility. The refrain assigns blame to Paul Assenmacher, Jeff Pico, Damon Berryhill, Kevin Tapani, Steve Stone, Luis Salazar and every other choking Cub. Except for Andre Dawson, the first player to ever win an MVP on a last place team. The Hawk gets an extended bridge where Kenny celebrates his merits. It’s like a game of RBI Baseball brought to life. The only flaw is that there is no Harry Caray narration.

I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but wouldn’t baseball be “like a game of RBI Baseball brought to life”? Anyway, it’s a great song, and yes, the part where he suggests we blame Kyle Farnsworth is my favorite part. We need honesty like this from more sports fans, especially the ones who rap. It’s a discussion point higher than “errthang I do, Saint Lou”.

[h/t Big League Stew]

Society loves to keep reminding you of pathetic failures. It’s why Daniel Tosh has so much success with Web Redemptions, why Bill Buckner gets to make fun of himself 25 years later on an episode of “Curb” and why the Kardashians are on every magazine cover. Hell, we’d still be celebrating Merkle’s Boner with Minor League Baseball promotions if “boner” hadn’t turned into something sinister over the last hundred years.

The Dayton Gems are members of the Central Hockey League and good citizens, so they’re holding “Salute to Steve Bartman Night”, a come-as-you’re-glad-you-aren’t event on Oct. 14 at the Cassano’s Italian Ice at Hara Arena to celebrate the poor Cubs fan who jinxed and ruined the team forever by catching a ball meant for the glove of Moises Alou, giving the Cubs a great reason to explain their failures outside of “we’re the Cubs and we always f**k up at baseball”. The details, by way of Sportress, by way of Our Sports Central, by way of Bartman’s shame-nightmares.

In honor of Bartman, and his infamous foul ball grab which arguably set off the biggest professional sports controversy in the past decade, the Dayton Gems will salute him and his rather unfortunate distinction by offering Bartman a free ticket to the game, to be left for him at the Hara box office, to celebrate the eighth anniversary of his notoriety.

In addition, any fans dressed as Steve Bartman, complete with Cubs hat, green turtleneck and wearing headphones, will also receive one free admission to the game. Gems team president Joe Greene spearheaded the idea, noting “while our staff will be dressed like Steve, and there will be baseball and Bartman themed contests and promotions going on throughout the night, we would like to remind our fans to refrain from reaching over the glass for stray pucks.” The team will also offer prizes and special recognition for the best dressed “Bartman” lookalikes in attendance.

So everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.