With a 1.5 game lead over the Milwaukee Bucks for the 8th playoff spot in the East, it seems like the New York Knicks are in good position to at least make the playoffs. They’re still sitting at .500 (27-27) as they have been for most of the season, and even the energy of a new coach and system isn’t helping them get over the hump and back into serious contention, despite some analysts who have the Knicks pegged as a title contender hiding in the best spot possible. Because any team, regardless of talent level, really wants to play the No. 1 seed in the first round of the playoffs.

But over in China, an old Knick is proving that he had some gas left in the tank to get himself a championship. Stephon Marbury and the Beijing Ducks – mmmmmmmm, Beijing duck – are the new Chinese Basketball Association champions, after Starbury scored 41 points in Game 5 to oust the defending champions, Guangdong Hongyuan. Marbury also scored 52 points in Game 2 and 53 points in Game 3, so if you were wondering how the New York sports media would pass the time with Jeremy Lin out for the season… stop.

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(Grover is Bosh.)

One of my professional goals is to make an appearance on Sesame Street and teach Grover the difference between two obvious things he should’ve organically learned about at some point over the last forty years. Sadly there isn’t a lot of room for bloggers on children’s programming (“hey kids, this is the difference between CREDITING your source and claiming you ARE the source, even if you just typed ‘cheerleaders’ into Flickr!” etc.), so here’s a clip of New York Knicks Carmelo Anthony and Amar’e Stoudemire living that dream for me.

Watch as they teach Grover what it is to “compare”. Carmelo can shoot the ball into the basket. Amar’e can shoot the ball into the basket. Grover can shoot the ball… way below the basket. They should’ve had Patrick Ewing walk on and say, “I can also shoot the ball way below the basket”.

I feel like he should’ve just transformed into Super Grover and started traveling all over the place. Super Grover is too popular for traveling calls.

They should bring on Stephon Marbury and have him call Elmo a sellout for doing the “Elmo’s World” segment instead of talking to kids on the street.

[h/t Sportress of Blogitude]

On a day when sports news is dominated by child molestation, I’d like to lighten the mood a little by presenting two sports guys who can’t stop calling people names on the Internet.

The first, former Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Oakland Raiders defensive tackle Warren Sapp, reacted to yesterday’s release of New England Patriots defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth by calling Albert a turd. Exhibit A:

When Belichick gave Haynesworth a chance this season, Sapp figured he might be the only coach left who could get Haynesworth to increase his level of play after two disastrous years with the Redskins.

“If anybody can, [Belichick] can,” Sapp told NESN.com. “The last thing you want to do is show up and be a turd that Belichick cuts. But that’s what he was.”

Exhibit number 2 (cough):

“So when Bill got him — I love Belichick, I love that defense, I love everything about the man — but you can’t make a turd out of something that he’s not. He’s a turd.

You can read the entire interview with Sapp over at NESN, but that’s the digested meat and potatoes of it. Warren Sapp, a guy who would never let money motivate him to do something like dance alongside Kim Kardashian and Jefferson from ‘Married … With Children’ on a gameshow, calling Albert Haynesworth, a man who would never do something for the wrong reasons (like slide his credit card down a woman’s cleavage), feces.

The second incident of the day comes from Stephon Marbury, a man who identifies himself openly as a PEACE STAR, ripping Michael Jordan in a way not too dissimilar from Tracy Morgan as Harry Belefonte on SNL calling Osama Bin Laden an Uncle Tom:

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The greatest player in the history of the Chinese Basketball Association is ready to take his talents to the Miami Heat. Well, he will be ready, as soon as Miami calls him back. The two time NBA All-Star and fashion icon says reports that indicate he’s unwilling to return to the league are false. That’s what happens when the local reporters speak Mandarin.

Stephon Marbury told Marc Berman of TheNew York Post that a Chinese reporter lost something in the translation and called it “total nonsense” that he turned down a chance to play for the Heat.

“…why would I turn down a chance to play for the Miami Heat?” Marbury said. “The report was a fabrication.”

“What I was saying was I wouldn’t be making a major difference with those guys because they have great players,” Marbury told The Post. “I’d just be filling a smaller role. Miami was considering bringing me there. They told me they’d get back to me. I haven’t heard back.” –USA Today

Did they say “don’t call us, we’ll call you,” Steph? If so, I wouldn’t spend too much time waiting around the phone. That’s only going to lead to drowning your tears in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s at 2:30 in the morning, something I wouldn’t know anything about at all. Why didn’t you call me back, Real World casting? Am I not real enough for you? When you prick me, do I not bleed? Oh well, there’s always next year. Highlights from Stephon’s CBA All-Star Game MVP performance after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s former NBA star Stephon Marbury succeeding where both Nixon and Google failed–he’s KILLING China. Watch Starbury sink three consecutive threes for his “North” squad in the Chinese All-Star Game, including two from spots on the court that I would describe only as “Way Da Fuggouthere.” Stephon is shaping up to be America’s No. 3 export, right behind steel and porn. How does one compute “awesome” into the GDP? Big ups to ShareBro James.

img via Ball Don’t Lie.

Stephon Marbury should give up trying to catch on with an NBA team, and that’s not because he has any sort of future as the next Wayne Brady (or even the next lonelygirl15), but because nobody will touch him after this video finishes making the rounds of NBA front offices. Even Brendan Heywood has gone on record and said that he wouldn’t want to share a locker room with Marbury. A gas station stall or a patch of grass behind a highway rest stop, sure, but not an NBA locker room. It’s called the “down low” for a reason, yo. Thanks, Michael, who’s totally not gay.