Kevin Durant Finally Recorded A Rap Song

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.30.12

It had been rumored for some time that Kevin Durant was going to ignore the precedent set by so many NBA players before him and try his hand at the rap game. A lot of us thought it was a joke because we watched the trailer for Durant’s film debut, Thunderstruck, and we figured someone close to the Oklahoma City Thunder star would tell him to chill out with the non-basketball stuff until he had a few rings and hundreds of millions of dollars. After all, you either need to be a champion or a complete lunatic to qualify for NBA-player-turned-rapper status. Unless you’re Tony Parker, because he gets the “Eh, he’s French” exemption.

But speaking of lunatics, it’s Stephen Jackson AKA STAK5 that has brought Durant to our ears on his latest mixtape, “Jack of all Trades”. Durant appears on the track “Lonely at the Top”, which is an anthem for all of you who are affected by the haters out there. According to our friends at The Basketball Jones, LeBron James will also be featured on a STAK5 track, but we’ll have to wait for the album’s full release to know if that’s true.

Until then, here’s Durant’s long-awaited debut…

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15 Ironic T-Shirts The NBA Should Also Sell

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.06.12

When Orlando Magic and eventual Brooklyn Nets center Dwight Howard agreed to sign his one-year extension to “let the Magic try to keep him”, a lot of people were pissed off at Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade when he made fun of Howard on Twitter for his overzealous use of the word “loyalty”. But bless their silly hearts, Magic fans – *points to self, frowns* – believed that Howard really was giving his team a shot until they eventually learned that he only signed the deal to avoid a deadline trade to the Los Angeles Lakers. Loyalty indeed.

So imagine the response of the Internets yesterday when people revealed that Adidas and the NBA have been selling a Dwight Howard “Loyalty” t-shirt all along. Yikes, talk about ironic. Even hipsters have a hard time purchasing that t-shirt online, donating it to the Goodwill and then begrudgingly buying it after they “find it” a few days later. But this shirt got me thinking: “What other absurd shirts could the NBA be pumping out to bilk devoted fans out of their hard-earned cash?”

*scratches spot on chin where hair would grow if he could grow facial hair, fires up Photoshop*

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Pop Quiz, David Stern: How Do You Punish Two Guys Flopping At Once?

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.28.12

Worst Kama Sutra page ever.

Last night’s Western Conference Finals Game 1 between the San Antonio Spurs and the Oklahoma City Thunder was everything that we’ve expected this series to offer us ever since we all predicted that the Top 2 seeds would be playing each other. The Spurs took the first game 101-98, although it wasn’t actually that close, as James Harden made a 3-pointer with one second left in the game that either made a ton of gamblers happy or the complete opposite. But the one thing that every NBA fan expected from this series was no-nonsense intensity and all heart basketball, because these are arguably the two most exciting teams in the NBA. At one point, I think Tim Duncan even nodded his head after someone made a shot. It’s that exciting.

That’s why it was pretty disappointing that in an otherwise entertaining and intense game, Spurs guard Manu Ginobili and Harden reminded everyone how much flopping sucks. In the 4th quarter, with the Spurs clinging to a one-point lead, Ginobili and Harden collided as the former was seemingly attempting a shot and they both flopped. Simply amazing.

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Introducing the NBA Booger Cam

Written by Weed Against Speed / 04.09.10

Booger Cam

If I were forced to select my favorite player between James Posey and Stephen Jackson, I suppose I would have to go with Posey. The guy clearly knows how to set a pick.

I suppose this means that Posey and Jackson aren’t buddies, because as the old saying goes, “You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose,” and Posey is almost knuckle-deep in Jackson’s nostril.

What do you mean booger jokes aren’t funny? These bits were (nose) gold, Jerry, (nose) gold!

[H/T Skeets]

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THIS REALLY MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER

Written by Matt / 09.24.08

Through some unholy coitus of corporate synergy, several Warriors players and coaches were forced to serve as baggage handlers and flight attendants and whatnot for a Southwest Airlines flight.  Stephen Jackson, can we get some witty repartee with a cheeky passenger?

“You don’t mind me moving your bag, do you, sir?” said Jackson, shutting the NBA logo-covered overhead compartments and preparing passengers for takeoff.

“No,” a passenger replied, “just as long as you don’t mind giving me your autograph.”

BAM!  That was AWESOME!  Now how about an unbearably cheesy and canned line provided by a PR flack?

When asked about what’s in store for fans in the coming months, Jackson replied, “We’re starting off on a runway, so you know we’re taking off this season.”

HOLY SHIT THAT IS GOLD.  That must have taken months to think of.  Literally months.  Whatever Southwest and Golden State are paying their PR team, it’s clearly not enough.

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STUPID LOUSY BANDWAGON

Written by Matt / 05.10.07

Fans of sexy awesomeness swallowed a bitter pill last night, as Golden State squandered a five-point lead with 50 seconds remaining to let Utah send Game 2 into overtime, where the White State ran away in the extra period to win 127-117.  The Jazz now lead the series 2-0, with both wins being thrilling, close games.

Really, there was so much to love about this game that it's hard to effectively recap. The Jazz got the most out of their starters — Boozer 30/13, Okur 23/18, Kirilenko 20/9/6 blocks, and Deron Williams with 17 and 14 assists.  Okur and Williams also hit clutch shots in the final minute of regulation, while the Warriors' Michael Pietrus missed two free throws and Baron Davis missed one of two, any of which would have practically sealed the game.  Disregarding the miss at the stripe, Davis was otherwise heroic, scoring 36 to go with 7 assists and 4 steals.

The Warriors, despite forcing 23 turnovers, were once again horrifically out-rebounded, and Stephen Jackson's ice-cold night did nothing to help their cause.  He scored 18 but shot just 4-of-18 from the field and made only two out his ten three-point attempts.  He could have contributed more by firing a gun into the air outside the stadium before the game.  Which I think is actually legal in Utah.  Unless you're black, which Jackson is, so I digress.

Oh yeah, and Derek Fisher flew back from New York in time to play the 4th quarter and OT.  Something about a daughter with eye cancer.  Boooo, cancer.  The important thing to know is that Game 3 drops Friday at 9:00 p.m. Eastern in Oakland.  Thanks, NBA.  Start the game earlier on a night where I actually want to stay up late.

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