It’s not really surprising to hear Stephen A. Smith call LeBron James “nigga” in the middle of a rant about how LeBron has no heart. Sometimes he forgets he’s supposed to be a sports analyst and flips whatever switch turns him into Bruce Bruce and makes him think you have to say the same sentence five or six times in a row no matter who else is trying to talk. Here’s a clip courtesy of The Basketball Jones of Smith going full-”Denzel Washington yelling at Caucasian Protagonist” on ESPN’s The Skip Bayless Variety Hour:

I love that Skip’s out of context response is IS THERE A WIZARD. That’s pretty much Skip in a nutshell, isn’t it?

I think the two things we should get from this are 1) it’s not a big deal, because Smith was just being colloquial and speaking passionately … LeBron really does need to dig deep and start showing some heart, because he’s unarguably one of the most talented basketball players we’ve ever seen and he should have two or three championships already. Oh, and courtesy of Jimmy Traina, 2) “Anyone who watches that show should be put in a mental institution.”

And in case you’ve never seen it, this is pretty obviously what this clip reminded me of:

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Stephen A. Smith, no one’s everyone favorite loudmouth, has finally found another home. You’ll never guess where he’s able to yell (even through the writing in his columns) now! I’ll give you a hint, it rhymes with SchmESPN. STOCK UP ON SOME CHEEZ DOODLES!

For those of you who swore I’d fallen off the map and disappeared into oblivion, never to be seen or heard from again, here’s a news flash:

I never left. I haven’t gone anywhere.

Any questions? Please, pay attention! -ESPNNewYork.com.

If you keep reading the column, it’s written exactly like a Jay-Z song: full of shoutouts to things in New York, awkwardly worded at times and pretty arrogant. You know, I bet Stephen was actually listening to Jay-Z when he wrote this column. I heard he tried to use Nuance so that he could write while doing other stuff, but he blew out his microphone’s from shouting too much and also because he didn’t want to get his Cheez Doodle powder-covered fingers all over his keyboard. Do you get the joke? It’s because Stephen CAN’T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF HIS VOICE AND HE LUH DEM CHEEZ DOODLES!

In all sincerity, Stephen A. Smith finally getting a mouthpiece he can use to scream about local sports problems is the greatest thing that’s happened on ESPN. I really hope they give him some segments on Sportscenter as well, because I would easily watch those over anything else on that channel at this point. You can be my replacement for the NFL, Stephen.

I appreciate that Jennifer Sterger is still finding ways to get people to talk about her. And that, in my opinion, was really what this whole Brett Favre C*CKTOBERFEST™ is about; I don’t see the point of dispensing “justice” like that almost two years after the fact.

That’s not to say that I’m opposed to it. Remember the Chinese adage, “Man who send picture to lady have erection that last forever.” I’m pretty sure that was Chinese. Anyway, Stephen A. Smith, another “sports personality” that won’t seem to go away, has sounded off his take on C*cktoberfest. Yes, we’re really calling it that.

From Smith’s Twitter page:

Just finished commenting about Favre and I’m about to do it again. Let me say this: We can get on Favre about his play, his avoiding…Training camp, and this nauseating love affair some in the media have with him. But to report on him trying to get with some girl is just…Wrong.

More importantly, it’s none of our damn business. What’s more, it epitomizes why athletes hate the media. You don’t dime out the dude…Like this. Especially if you’re a dude — b/c we all know we’ve chased honies from time-to-time in our lives. It’s hypocritical.

And for…Those who’d compare this to Tiger,

THIS IS JUST LIKE TIGER WOODS!

STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Too late!

Tiger was an issue because a police report was filed following his car accident and…The belief surrounding why it occurred. That’s not the case with Favre. It’s messed up. And although I respect Deadspin, they’re wrong here.

More from Screamin’ A after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

July 8 can’t come fast enough. Until NBA free agents can actually sign with the teams that are making the offers – Joe Johnson is staying in Atlanta with a max deal, Amar’e Stoudemire was offered 5 years and $100 million by the Knicks, Dirk Nowitzki is reportedly staying with the Dallas Mavericks, etc. – reporters, analysts and all-around jackasses will continue to “report” what their “sources” are telling them. Like Stephen A. Smith, for instance.

The former ESPN and Philadelphia Inquirer employee and current host of a FOX Sports radio show, Smith openly bragged one week ago that his “source” told him that Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh were a done deal for the Miami Heat. This became huge news (I even wrote about it) and the whirlwind of speculation and rumors has become ridiculous. Smith, of course, was wrong and has since backtracked via Twitter, despite not actually taking credit for his false reporting. Instead, he actually blames Bosh for making him look bad. But hey, that’s why he gets paid the big bucks.

Make me believe in credible journalism again, LA Times:

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GameOn found the latest–and almost certainly last–annual piece from the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society Of Gentlemen. One can expect this video to hold up as the SASHSG swan song, as Smith’s contract was not renewed by ESPN. The video features an unflattering sock puppet in almost a sort of “Triumph the insult comic dog” vein; we see “Stephen A.” renegotiate his contract on an iPhone, try to score an interview with the draft picks, and capping it off with an ode to cheese doodles.

But really this post is just an excuse for me to point out that the reason Stephen A. Smith thinks his contract isn’t being renewed–because the black community didn’t lend him enough support. Oh, I didn’t realize Stephen A’s show was broadcasting live from a Birmingham lunch counter in 1958. And that’s just a callous way of asking, “Why would they?”

Last month Stephen A. Smith was all, "Bloggers are dangerous because they're unqualified, untrained, wreckless [sic], non-expert non-professionals who are sabotaging upstanding professionals like myself."  And now this month he's like "Welcome to my blog."  Oh, excuse me: his online blog.  It's different from those stodgy old paper-and-ink blogs.

In the first and only post so far, Stephen A. writes (not in all caps, surprisingly enough):

Happy New Year everyone. It’s the night of Jan. 2,2008…

Now would be a good time to point out that he published the post on January 14th.

I’m actually doing something I never thought I’d do in my lifetime: writing a blog. In the interest of being real, although I’ve been a journalist for more than 14 years, therefore intimately accustomed to writing, especially on the fly, I’ve never desired to have my own website, let alone write my own blog. But things change when your loved ones notice your notoriety more than you do, when they aspire for your voice to expand, when they’ve grown tired of the countless times they’ve heard critics rain venom without compunction because they sensed my voice was limited.

Anyway, he drones on and on and there's nothing particularly interesting (or, to be fair, stupid), then he ends with, "So fasten your seatbelts! Get ready for a ride!"  A ride that stops immediately and doesn't move for nine days.  Oh my gosh my hair's on fire!  Slow this ride down!!!

[Simon on Sports]