I almost said “jumpshots”. Whew!

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Event Recap: NY Giants Super Bowl XLVI Victory Celebration - The best part was when Mark Sanchez showed up. At least that’s what I assume happened. [Smoking Section]

Funny, Sexy And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week - Be sure to check out my cameo in yesterday’s cosplay gallery. Yes, I am nerdy enough to be Hooded Justice for Halloween. [Gamma Squad]

Lindsay Lohan Is Taking This Modeling Thing Seriously - … or at least she’s settled into a nice position as “lady with big boobs who smokes and people take pictures”. There are entire fetish tubes for that. [Smoking Section]

Ten TV Relationships That Should Never Happen. Ever. - I don’t agree with this list. I think Jim absolutely SHOULD cheat on Pam with Vanilla False Pam and become the Big Bad of the show. [Warming Glow]

Trailer: Bourne’s Legacy Gets Renner’d - One day America’s gonna wake up and say “oh my God, Jeremy Renner’s face“. [Film Drunk]

10 Morphing GIFs That Will Have You Seeing Double - This gallery has really spot-lit the fact that Orlando Bloom’s head is the size of a lima bean. [UPROXX]

25 Animals Who Think They’re People - Be the baby, kitty. BE THE BABY! [Buzzfeed]

The Funniest Anti-Gay Counter-Protests - If you hate gay people enough to make a condescending posterboard sign about it, stop picketing funerals and go to a pro wrestling show. [HuffPost Comedy]

Movies That Should Get the 3D Treatment - This should be a link to a blank white page. The only movies that should exist in 3D are Hugo and that Jaws movie coming out in 2015. [Adult Swim]

Nazi Moon Film More Popular Than Angelina Jolie - That’s a solid headline if I’ve ever read one. [Moviefone]

The Best Films You Never Want To See Again - Sorry, Pajiba, I want to see The Godfather at least several more times. Part II as well. Part III I could live without. [Pajiba]

The Phantom Menace Sucks, But These Posters Don’t - They didn’t finish the headline: “…Do Anything To Make Me Want To Pay To See It Again”. [Unreality]

The Girl Who Loves to Eat Plastic Will Haunt Your Dreams - /glares [Brobible]

Who died and put Kevin Smith in charge of creativity?

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Cocky 17-Year-Old Gets Ruined In A Rap Battle With His English Teacher - Laughing my ass off at “Blizzard”. What’re you, a fake rapper from an episode of Clone High? [Buzzfeed]

Are These NCAA Helmet Concepts Better Than Current Designs? - I bought a tablet! Look at these helmets! They’ve got lens flares! Blergh! [Brobible]

Twelve Reasons Why NBC Is a Last-Place Network - Reason thirteen: nobody at the network has invited me over to meet and take pictures with Aubrey Plaza. Reason fourteen: Aubrey Plaza has never kissed me on the mouth. [Warming Glow]

Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Specifically The Province of Skyrim - Now I really want to run into Pimpbot 5000 in a Dwemer Ruin. [Gamma Squad]

Channing Tatum Showed Rachel McAdams His Dong - Channing Tatum shows us his dong every time he makes a movie. He calls it “acting”. [Film Drunk]

Meme Watch: Sudden Clarity Clarence Finally Gets It - A guy with an upset look on his face with the caption “oh my god I left the clothes in the washer” is the closest I’ve ever come to being in a meme. [UPROXX]

This Is How You Place An Order At Sonic - I wonder how many times I missed someone “going viral” as a teenager by just rolling my eyes at people like this instead of taping them? [UPROXX]

Redbox Gives Warner Bros The One-Finger Salute - Hey guys, I want something that is exactly like Netflix, only I’d have to drive to the Walgreens down the street and stand in the parking lot for several minutes before it’d let me watch a movie. Any ideas? [Smoking Section]

Kate Upton Is The Best Person Ever At Eating Cheeseburgers - If you missed this, please click the link. We only update about Kate so many times each day. [With Leather]

Is Kristen Bell’s Sloth Meltdown Meme-Worthy? - No? It’s just nice. Stop making things memes! [The FW]

25 Things That Have Happened Since Meryl Streep Won Her Most Recent Oscar - I was two, if that matters. Holy sh*t that was a long time ago. That was what, 1928? [Moviefone]

The Best Gallery of Soul Calibur Cosplay in Existence - Hot girls dressed like Mortal Kombat characters > people dressed like Soul Calibur things. Unless it’s Link. Girls dressed like Link are the BEST. [Unreality]

I’ve never quite understood why companies still pay upwards of $3.5 million for Super Bowl ad spots. I mean, back in the 90s and early 00s I can understand why they did, and I’m glad they did because most Super Bowl commercials provide much needed entertainment during breaks in play. After all, that entertainment sure as hell ain’t coming from a halftime show.

But today’s Super Bowl commercial is almost a lesson in futility. For starters, people watching in bars or at Super Bowl parties can’t even hear them, so the spots and money are essentially wasted. Hell, half the time I’m too busy trying to explain to people how their squares work or scoring ridiculous prop bet sheets. And with the Internet, YouTube and 6 zillion blogs ready to pounce, almost every commercial is leaked before the big game anyway.

First up, this Volkswagen ad that found its way to the intertunnels this week. The company is referring to it as a teaser ad, or an ad for an ad, but whatever it is, it’s fantastic – simple, funny, dogs. It has nothing to do with actually purchasing, owning or driving a Volkswagen, and why should it? Give me dogs barking the Star Wars theme and I’m going to at least consider buying your product.

Read the rest of this entry »

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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Links

Five ’90s Comic Book Movies That Could Use a Reboot - None of them! No more comic book movies. It’s time to go back to actual books and makes the comics guys work for their money for a few years. I would like to see a new The Rocketeer, though. [Gamma Squad]

Incontrovertible Proof that Tom Cruise is Not Gay - Now contrast this with NASCAR guys, who’ll tell you that Jeff Gordon is gay because he’s mildly handsome. [Warming Glow]

Rihanna’s Smoking Something In Hawaii - I can’t wait until 30 years from now when she’s doing guest spots on Enzyte commercials. “Come on, rude boy! Get it up!” [Smoking Section]

Hanksy Brings Together Tom Hanks And Banksy. Finally. - Somebody do an Andy Warhol/Andy Griffith mash-up so I can laugh and clap my hands and pretend like the Internet was around in the 1960s. [UPROXX]

Andy Warhol At Gristede’s Supermarket, 1962 - Eh, close enough. [High Definite]

George Lucas Talks Retirement, Racism, And Nuking The Fridge - George Lucas should do a Barbara Walters special and admit that he’s just not very good at this, got pretty lucky 35 years ago and is happy to know Spielberg and Coppola. Also that his head looks like a throw pillow. [Gamma Squad]

Michelle Trachtenberg May Have A Sex Tape - Or a “walking around naked tape”, or something. Regardless, the Euro Trip fan in me as going !!!!!!! Uh, sorry, I meant “the Buffy fan”. [FARK]

25 People Who Thought SOPA Was About Soap - 25 people who thought NAFTA was about space travel! Make it happen, Buzzfeed! [Buzzfeed]

7 Sites You Should Be Wasting Time On Right Now - Good job, Burnsy. The most fitting end to my run at With Leather would be for HuffPo to buy UPROXX and fire me. They’re like the Clear Channel of the Internet. [HuffPost Comedy]

‘The Day the LOL Cats Died’ Is the Official Song of the SOPA Protests - I also would’ve accepted the Boxxy I AM NOT TROLLIN’ remix or something involving a Weird Al version of the Bed Intruder. [The FW]

The 11 Crappiest Movies of Kate Beckinsale’s Career - What’s weird is that I’d honestly be more interested in reading the “1 Good Movie Of Kate Beckinsale’s Career” list. Is it Laurel Canyon? No, it can’t be that. [Pajiba]

Couple Attempts to Explode a Car By Using Flaming Tampons - If this is viral marketing for Grand Theft Auto 5 I am so excited. [Brobible]

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Links

Heisman Winner Robert Griffin III Will Make The Leap To The League - Good for him. Hopefully the NFL of 2015 is only rookies, and they’re all exceeding expectations. [Smoking Section]

25 Of The Most Normal Photos Of Rappers Doing Normal Sh*t - I’ve always wanted a Golden Treasury of Ludacris on the toilet. “My poop is colorful – BALLOONS!” etc. [UPROXX]

We Have A Special Treat For You If You ‘Like’ Us On Facebook - An exclusive 5-Second Films film! If you like With Leather on Facebook all it gets you is the Kate Upton sex tape. What a rip-off! [UPROXX]

Jon Huntsman’s Super Cute Daughters Will Unite Us All - These girls ain’t got nothin’ on Meghan McCain. And trust me, as someone who grew up in the religious mecca of central Virginia, it’s no surprise to me that a super Republican has foxy daughters. [Warming Glow]

The 10 Cheesiest Movie Moments Of 2011 - It’s hard to say “hey, I disagree” at Film Drunk, but I still don’t agree with him about Moneyball. Literally every emotional moment in the history of movies is derivative of human emotion in some way and “manufactured”, unless we’re exclusively watching Errol Morris DVDs. Plus, Mark Shapiro looked exactly like Mark Shapiro, so come on. [Film Drunk]

Corporate Response To Star Wars Complaint Letter Is The Best Ever Corporate Response - I’m going to start sending in complaint letters to UPROXX every time we post something about Star Wars. [Gamma Squad]

The 30 Best Taco-Related Crimes Ever - #31, giving Shaq TNS (Taco Neck Syndrome) and ruining the prime of his NBA career. [Buzzfeed]

10 Movies You Had No Idea Were Turned Into TV Shows - Another excuse for me to link you to that Uncle Buck theme I shared a few months ago. It is easily the best TV credits theme of all time. [The FW]

Paul Rudd To *Literally* Guest Star On “Parks and Recreation” - Truefax: if Paul Rudd was ugly he wouldn’t have been in a single movie. [FARK]

20 Underappreciated Gems Currently Playing on Netflix Instant - Hulu has them beat: it has the Christmas movie where Bruce Vilanch is an emotional elf. [Pajiba]

This ‘Kate Upton Rocks the World’ Video Will Shatter Your Mind - It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, but you should watch it anyway. The success or failure of our website is directly related to how often Kate Upton does things. [Brobible]

The Summer Glau Comic-Con Pose GIF - This is why I can’t pay to meet celebrities at cons. They absolutely do not give a sh*t that I like them. [NextRound]

Probably the saddest thing ever covered by 24 hour news. They could’ve just put up a picture of Arnold from Diff’rent Strokes and photoshopped his collar popped. The Ebonics in the title are pretty funny too. They should’ve put “ay,” before it.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
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Links

Reports: Beyonce Gives Birth, Twitter Reacts - They named the baby Blue Ivy because Jay-Z is gonna buy the Chicago Cubs and move them to Kentucky! Blergh! [Smoking Section]

Axl Rose Is A Hungry Time Traveler - Axl Rose is such a microcosm of life on this planet, going from a Stephanie Seymour-f**king sociopathic rock star beloved by Beavis to being a fat guy in comedy photoshops. Such is life. [UPROXX]

Which Superhero Franchise Has Produced the Worst Video Games? A (Sort of) Scientific Study - This is pretty interesting, but I don’t buy that Spider-Man had 11 good games. The closet a Spider-Man game ever came to being good was marred forever by MY BALLOOONNNN! [Gamma Squad]

Creepy Got Milk? Ads Throughout the Years - Nothin’ creepy about Yasmine Bleeth. WEll, until later, I mean. [Warming Glow]

An Exclusive Gif from Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie - So it’s come to this: exclusive gifs. Hopefully one day we’ll hype movies by getting the stars to warn you on AIM. [Film Drunk]

Sh*t Wookiees Say Is The Definitive Sh*t Said By Someone - Gonna put together a Sh*t Bodysnatches Say video where it’s just people pointing at you and screaming. [UPROXX]

54 Beautifully Offensive Desktop Wallpapers - Keep in mind, they get pretty offensive. I want to create the opposite of these, where it’s a picture of lynchings or Nguyen Ngoc Loan murdering a dude with CORGIS in big capital white letters in the background. [Buzzfeed]

7 Ridiculous Workout and Diet Commercials - Fat Jennifer Hudson is such a creep. Why are you wearing that? I know for a fact that your household has higher fashion standards than that. /coffee slurp [The FW]

Jaleel White Wants To Be On Breaking Bad - Accidentally knocks over the meth lab, asks if he did that, requests cheese, gets put in a headlock by one or more Bushwhackers. America’s white 20-somethings go apesh*t. [FARK]

‘The Simpsons’ Tries For Guinness World Record - The Simpsons should try to make a funny episode. [HuffPostTV]

Batman Gets Seuss-ified - The best part is that Joel Schumacher already made the modern day Grinch/Cat In The Hat-style Seuss Batman movie, where he’s just sarcastic the whole time and makes adult jokes. It’s called Batman & Robin. [Unreality]