Since there’s no artsy gallery of riot photos from downtown Los Angeles this morning, we’ve got the next best thing: players dropping f-bombs in live post-game interviews.

By way of Larry Brown Sports comes Kings captain Dustin Brown being asked if the ever thought the team would win it all following their 6-1 championship victory over the Devils in game 6. His response, which is sure to be on Kings-related merch from now until the end of time, boiled down to F**K YEAH I DID.

As great as that is (and congratulations to the Kings … I can’t wait to start cheering for the Caps again when the 2012-13 NHL season starts up next week), it got me thinking of the greatest f-yeah-bomb ever dropped in a postseason celebration: Chase Utley’s WORLD CHAMPIONS~ in the 2008 World Series victory parade in Philadelphia:

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As we touched on yesterday, the NHL and NBC are having a little trouble getting people to watch the Stanley Cup Finals, mainly because New Jersey and Los Angeles don’t have the biggest fan bases, but also because nobody knows what channel the games are on. It also doesn’t help that the NBA has ridiculous conference finals series happening right now either.

But something happened during last night’s Game 4 of the Cup, and I’m not talking about the Devils mustering everything they had to pull out a 3-1 victory and stay alive against the molten-lava-hot Kings. I’m talking about the epic juggery (above) that showed up next to Devils coach Peter DeBoer’s head.

Turns out them chesticles belong to none other than adult film starlet Tay Stevens, and I’d like to take this moment to send an important memo to the NHL brass – MORE PORN STARS AT GAMES, PLEASE. After the jump, get to know Stevens a little better (semi-SFW) thanks to her Twitter account.

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KTLA-TV news reporter Allie MacKay spanks a mascot, because … ? I liked this clip’s strong, Christian message. (via Speleb)

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Kings fans deserve the Stanley Cup just for their heckling.

As I wrote a few weeks ago, it was very easy for NHL experts and analysts to label the Los Angeles Kings a Cinderella story because of how bad they sucked early on in the season. They were bad enough to get their coach fired and they were bad enough early on that it took a hell of a late season run to avoid missing the playoffs entirely. But people conveniently ignored that the Kings were a sweetheart team before the season began, having made the playoffs last year and returning one heck of a talented squad.

Tonight, they can sweep the New Jersey Devils to win the Stanley Cup and put an exclamation point on an amazing comeback, but the problem isn’t that this was simply a team that just needed to get it right to become this good. It’s that nobody is even watching them now.

While Games 1 and 2 drew good ratings in New York and Los Angeles, according to figures provided by NBC, across the rest of the United States, overnight ratings for Game 1 were off 25 percent from last year’s Boston-Vancouver opener, and Game 2 was down 12 percent from last year.

The dropoff in national ratings for two of the N.H.L.’s non-marquee teams stands in contrast to the rise in ratings for the Oklahoma City-San Antonio Western Conference basketball finals, likewise involving two non-marquee teams. (Via the New York Times)

I’m not going to do the whole “Hockey is boring, that’s why nobody is watching” routine, because the Kings aren’t boring. They’ve been exciting as hell as they stormed to the Finals, so the problem has to be something else. And considering I can’t even tell you what time tonight’s game is or what channel it’s on, I’d say that the NHL should start with its marketing department.

Game 4 is at 8 p.m. tonight on NBC Sports Network, obviously. I know this because I had to go to NBC Sports and enter my zip code into the channel finder. Again, the problem isn’t that hard to pinpoint.

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My interest in the NHL season checked out with the Caps, but here’s a quick recap of what’s going on: the Los Angeles Kings are up 3-0 against the New Jersey Devils in the Stanley Cup Finals, and, more importantly, Taiwan’s Next Media animation is recreating it as a Pro Bending battle between a bunch of guys dressed like the Burger King and the literal Devil. In pads.

This is a particularly good one, featuring the Devil using voodoo (which seems like a mixed metaphor), Fox Sports buying Kings broadcast rights with a treasure chest of gold and that moment pictured above where the Devil skates around the Kings and causes them to fall into the ice. You know, because hockey games are always held on frozen lakes. Oh yeah, and the part where the Kings survive drowning and freezing to death by commanding fog-spewing polar bears. Think we don’t talk about hockey enough? Tell the real Kings to ride in on polar bears.

Video is below. Stick around ’til the end for the Carol cameo.

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It seems like we just can’t go a single day without hearing more bad news about the aftermath of the Stanley Cup Finals. Less than a week after the Boston Bruins defeated the Vancouver Canucks to win their first NHL Championship in 39 years, society is still crumbling around us. First, wannabe anarchists and spoiled brats destroyed the beautiful city of Vancouver under the veil of professional sports, furthering my case for mandatory sterilization of hippies and punks. If that wasn’t bad enough, even more Vancouverites took to the streets again over the weekend to vandalize trash cans by putting trash in them and they painted so much graffiti on the walls that they just look like solid colors now. It’s pretty brutal.

Then Boston decided all of that wasn’t enough. On Saturday, thousands of Bostonians gathered in the streets, as they shouted in unison to show their protest of something. I’m not sure what exactly they were rioting against, but it was so bad that they even had to bring in giant duck boats to transport people through the crowds to protect them. And a white guy was rapping. It was one of the most terrifying things I have ever seen.

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