What, this isn't good enough?

Aw crap, more state politics. This time we’re talking new stadium agreements, and the fun begins in Minnesota, where the Vikings have agreed to terms on a partnership with the taxpayers for the creation of a $975 million stadium. The team will pay $477 million toward the new facility, while the state and Minneapolis will pay the other $498 million. This is truly a remarkable day for unions between the people and the billionaires who take all of their money.

But before you go shopping for new tailgate gear, Vikings fans, you should probably know that you will never ever be able to see just how that taxpayer money is being spent, because the state gave the Vikings a “blanket protection” that allows Zygi Wilf and Co. to be super secretive about everything they do. Hooray, democracy!

One provision would shield “any financial information” from the team from public eyes. Critics say the blanket protection goes beyond state law, leaving taxpayers in the dark.

“We now have the largest public commitment in the state’s history in an agreement with the Vikings, and we have an unprecedented lack of disclosure,” said Rep. Mary Liz Holberg, R-Lakeville, who voted against the stadium bill. (Via the Seattle Times)

Basically, Governor Mark Dayton and a team of people that he will choose will be able to check in on the finances of the Vikings and their new stadium whenever they want. And if they see something they don’t like, they can handle it internally. But even if it’s something totally f*cked up, the public still can’t see it. Dayton might as well cut the stadium’s ribbon, scream, “HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!” and light a pile of money on fire.

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This weekend was a busy one for me — attending Wrestlemania XXVIII, meeting Dave “Masked Man” Shoemaker from Grantland, trying to figure out what the sh*t a “Sun Pass” is — but one of the biggest highlights was attending Sunday’s exhibition game between the New York Yankees and the new look Miami Marlins in brand-spanking-new Marlins Park in Miami.

There’s been a lot of talk about the new stadium, mostly about how it cost too much to build and how they wanted a motorized nightmare machine in center. I got there early (on the same day as Wrestlemania, because I love to pay for parking) to take a few pictures and share the experience with you guys, because holy crap, if you think the fish machine is bad you haven’t seen everything else.

Take a look and let me know what you think. Worst case scenario, you’ll get to see a sweet Bobblehead Museum. And “Katherine”. Katherine was awesome.

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Who’s ready to pack up the ol’ cooler and head down to Matsumura Fishworks & Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern Ballpark to see the Marlins? That’s the reality south Florida could be facing as the two-time World Series champs are “talking [with] multinational companies … looking to get their name in Miami” about the park name and that a four-month-long deal is “close to being finalized”.

During a media tour of the ballpark in mid-June, team President David Samson said negotiations were down to two companies.

“The end is always the hardest. I wanted an announcement [by] June 1. We are in an area where we’ve narrowed it down considerably and we’re at the final lap,” Samson said at the time. “It’s going to be a very interesting deal when it’s announced. Both companies are international companies.”

Believe it or not, companies struggling to stay afloat in our shifty economy are still willing to dump loads of cash into putting their name on stadiums. MetLife is close to securing rights to Meadowlands Stadium in New Jersey for an average of $17 million to $18 million a year. The stadium MetLife should’ve paid that much money to sponsor, Citi Field, got the “Citi” name in a 20-year, $400 million deal. Nationals Park got their name through a sponsorship with Major League Baseball team the Washington Nationals, because nobody likes the Nats and they’re the baseball team equivalent of that terrible opinion board that puts CONTACT US ABOUT ADVERTISING all over the page.

Anyway, the whole “French douche company name on our stadium instead of a local institution” thing isn’t going over well with the Marlins faithful, like Craig from Fish Stripes:

“Multinational companies that are looking to get their name in Miami”? I don’t like the sound of that. Does that mean they won’t have any South Florida roots? If the stadium is named after Bacardi, I’m cool with that. Or after one of the cruise lines, no problem. Or Burger King, that will work. Or Publix, I can get behind that. But it better not be a British Petroleum-like company or some vampire squid financial institution. But for some reason, I am afraid it will be.

Yeah, call it Publix Park, I want to see a ballgame at a place that sounds like I should be covering it with my underwear.

[h/t Yahoo! Sports]

As the Florida Marlins continue to design the nuances and luxuries of their new $515 million Miami Ballpark, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have taken issue with the team’s decision to place two giant aquariums – featuring live exotic fish – behind home plate. In a letter to Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, PETA implores the Marlins to instead use artwork or technology to showcase ocean life. Perhaps a Snorks DVD box set would make our favorite tree-huggers happy.

The aquariums were announced last week, and they have been designed using high impact bullet-proof glass so that errant foul balls don’t lead to the fish being spilled into the stands or the field. PETA representatives insist that the strength of the glass isn’t the problem, as much as the unnatural environment that will surround them.

Tap on our glass casings to stir up terror, Miami Herald:

“Being exposed to the loud crowds, bright lights, and reverberations of a baseball stadium would be stressful and maddening for any large animals held captive in tanks that, to them, are like bathtubs,” wrote PETA executive vice president Tracy Reiman in the letter.

But PETA said the Marlins should explore alternatives, such as “artist-designed aquariums full of beautiful blown-glass animals,” “high-definition plasma screens showing underwater footage of sea animals,” and even “robotic fish that can ‘swim’ through water.”

Loud crowds. Marlins stadium. It’s clear that PETA has its pulse on the attendance figures of Major League Baseball these days. Reiman added that he hopes the Marlins leave these animals in the ocean “right where they belong.” As the Marlins currently have no intentions of changing their plans, Marlins President David Samson called the matter a philosophical issue, and stated that the animals they use will be treated great, possibly even better than those in the ocean.

And you know what, PETA? He might have a point.

Exhibit A to kill the infadels

Two men, Shazad Hosi Mehta, 28, and Noshir Medhora, 27, were detained at gunpoint after getting into the facility. Adil A. Minocherhomjee, 22, did not enter Heinz Field. The men were charged with criminal trespass and conspiracy to commit criminal trespass.

They claimed they were looking for a wallet they had left at a game. In December.

“The story’s not credible,” Sgt. Patrick Knepp told the Post-Gazette. –ProFootballTalk

Thankfully, we don’t live in a society where these men would be presumed to be terrorists because of the way their names sound. But, I imagine Steelers fans will think this is all some master plan orchestrated by Osama Bin Laden and the NFL. I really might have an aneurysm if I hear phrases like “America’s Team,” “known unknowns,” and “weapons of mass destruction” thrown around by Steeler’s fans. “BIN LADEN JUST WANTED TO HIT US WHERE IT WOULD HURT THE MOST! AMERICA LOVES THE STEELERS!” No, we don’t. Other than Dallas, Pittsburgh probably has the most despised fan base in the NFL. They’re all either bandwagon jumpers, or even worse, from Pittsburgh. There’s no reason to blow up Pittsburgh. Bombs are expensive.

The demolition of the “old” Giants Stadium is now underway. In classic New York/New Jersey style, they’re chopping it up and selling off the parts, from patches of turf to seats to signage. Everything must go!

But instead of the wrecking ball that Bruce Springsteen sang about, a crane with a claw is taking bites out of the stadium’s top sections. Clouds of dust drifted in the air as concrete and steel fell to the ground.

The 34-year-old venue has played host to the Giants, the Jets, the Cosmos, the MetroStars and the Red Bulls. –NJ Star-Ledger.

The new Giants Stadium is already finished; for all of last season, and for the past couple months, it was like my grandmother’s sofa, remaining unused until “comany” came by, “company” being the tours offered to Giants and Jets fans that those teams are trying to gouge for PSL fees. And all this time I thought we were in a recession.