Sports

PoV: The Lingerie Basketball League - The part of me that assumes women are human beings and my equal thinks this probably shouldn’t be a thing. Watching strippers play basketball is like watching pro wrestlers act — I understand why you’re doing it, but come on, this is terrible. [Smoking Section]

The Best UFC 133 Preview You’ll See All Day - Jeremy Piven as Joe Rogan is too perfect. And speaking of wrestling, the one thing pro wrestling will always have on the UFC is video production values. MMA hype video backgrounds need more crying babies and people inaudibly chanting in Latin. I’ll get into MMA when they start effectively using Placebo in their video packages. [Cage Potato]

Phan Fighting To Break Asian Stereotypes - I guess “Shidoshi Tanaka’s kid who gets beaten up at school, gets saved by Frank Dux and then lectures him about how one day he’s gonna be great and go fight in the Kumite” isn’t an Asian stereotype. Maybe Phan should start breaking peoples’ legs and taunting his opponents with their best friends’ bandanas. [Cagewriter]

The Animated GIFs Of July: In Which Every Living Baseball Player Is Terrible - It’s true, they’re all terrible. Especially the ones who can’t throw out Jarrod Saltalamacchia. [SBN]

With Leather

How To Get Body Dysmorphia: Attend The Crossfit Games - Site founder Matt Ufford stopped by yesterday to share his photo diary of the event, and I’m going to spend the next six weeks blubbering and eating ice cream in the darkness. If I could look like half of one of these people, I’d be happy. [With Leather]

The Attractive Female Celebrity’s Guide To Drafting Fantasy Running Backs - I don’t want to live in a world where people consider Ashley Tisdale hotter than Brenda Song. Come on, Zack and Cody’s mom was hotter than Ashley Tisdale. [With Leather]

The Best MMA Feud You’ll Read All Year - I’m going to start writing more stories about Russia just to use that stock header. [With Leather]

Sooners/Longhorns Rivalry Turns Into Stabbing At Applebee’s - More like Stabblebee’s, am I right? Read it now, before it’s been online too long and people googling “Longhorns suck” show up and start lecturing me about how “you’re are a moron!!” in the comments. Note: I wish I could use a King of the Hill screen grab as the header image for every story. [With Leather]

Not Sports

George Clooney And…Stacy Keibler? - It is so incredibly disappointing to me to see Stacy Keibler get gross-looking breast implants at this stage in her life and career. I guess you don’t get failed TV pilots with a flat chest. SMDH at you, Stacy. SMDH. [FARK|]

The Most WTF Bacon Products - I think bacon itself is the most “wtf bacon product”. I think gutting a living thing and eating its flesh after you’ve placed it in scalding-hot oil is weirder than a bacon-flavored envelope. [UGO]

35 Best Drawings Of Jon Hamm - A companion piece to the Most WTF Bacon Products. When are people going to start drawing Pete? Pete is the best character on that show. [Buzzfeed]

Can You Match The Plot Description To The Jason Statham Movie? - Ugh, no. [Pajiba]

If you weren’t taking inventory of your beef jerky and pornography for the rapture on Saturday, there’s a good chance that you tuned into the 136th annual Preakness Stakes to see Shackleford out-horse the rest of this year’s equine contenders. Shackleford notably surrendered the lead to Animal Kingdom at the Kentucky Derby earlier this year, and it appeared to be déjà vu all over again as Kingdom made a late run at the Preakness title. But Shackleford held Kingdom off to eliminate any hopes of a Triple Crown win this year, so now we can talk about what really matters – girls in bikinis.

Everyone knows that the real Preakness highlights take place at the infield party, and this year’s party was off the chain, hook and any other slang terms that the kids use these days. Not only could you check out the ladies of the 2011 Jagermeister International Bikini Contest, but you could also stalk hang out with infield hostess and former WWE star Stacy Keibler, as well as enjoy music by Bruno Mars and Train. Did I say enjoy? Sorry, that was careless of me.

There were also plenty of sort-of-celebrities in attendance, and the Baltimore Sun’s extensive Preakness coverage captured all of the action, including the bikinis and celebs.

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Former WWE wrestler/Stacy Keibler beau Andrew Martin was found dead in his Tampa-area apartment Friday night. Martin, who wrestled as “Test,” the anti-charismatic ex-roadie from Mötley Crüe, was romantically linked to Stacy Keibler when the pair worked together on the wrestling circuit.

From TMZ:

Police responded to a call on their welfare hotline from a concerned neighbor who had seen Martin motionless and was, “concerned for his well being,” after peering through Martin’s apartment window.

Martin, 33, last worked for the WWE in 2007 and once had a relationship with former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant Stacy Keibler.

Martin’s stock had been crashing for some time, and not just because he was a crappy wrestler.
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Here’s a little something from the vault to send you on your way this Thanksgiving: Stacy Keibler versus Trish Stratus for the WWE ladyweight championship some years ago, which was apparently decided in a large tub of gravy. Oh hey, but first, they should sit down to this large feast carefully laid out next to the ring. No chance of that becoming a food fight. No sirree.

I’ve never found pro wrestling remotely entertaining, but this manages to do it for me, despite the egregious waste of mashed potatoes.  Still, I would have liked to hear the announcer say, “Watch out!  She’s got a turkey baster!”

[Hot Clicks]

It's always nice to see former Ravens cheerleader, WWE moll, and Dancing with the Stars eye candy Stacy Keibler getting work.  But I still miss the quiet days when we could stay in bed on Sunday, back before she was always rushing off to some other gig.  We'd do the crossword and frolic in crisp white Egyptian cotton as the Venetian-slatted sunbeams' movement across the bed marked the passage of hours.

But perhaps I've said to much.  I'm happy for her success, really.  I mean, the film's not exactly funny, but that doesn't mean I want her to die.  Such a draconian website.

[Via Hot Clicks]