What, this isn't good enough?

Aw crap, more state politics. This time we’re talking new stadium agreements, and the fun begins in Minnesota, where the Vikings have agreed to terms on a partnership with the taxpayers for the creation of a $975 million stadium. The team will pay $477 million toward the new facility, while the state and Minneapolis will pay the other $498 million. This is truly a remarkable day for unions between the people and the billionaires who take all of their money.

But before you go shopping for new tailgate gear, Vikings fans, you should probably know that you will never ever be able to see just how that taxpayer money is being spent, because the state gave the Vikings a “blanket protection” that allows Zygi Wilf and Co. to be super secretive about everything they do. Hooray, democracy!

One provision would shield “any financial information” from the team from public eyes. Critics say the blanket protection goes beyond state law, leaving taxpayers in the dark.

“We now have the largest public commitment in the state’s history in an agreement with the Vikings, and we have an unprecedented lack of disclosure,” said Rep. Mary Liz Holberg, R-Lakeville, who voted against the stadium bill. (Via the Seattle Times)

Basically, Governor Mark Dayton and a team of people that he will choose will be able to check in on the finances of the Vikings and their new stadium whenever they want. And if they see something they don’t like, they can handle it internally. But even if it’s something totally f*cked up, the public still can’t see it. Dayton might as well cut the stadium’s ribbon, scream, “HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!” and light a pile of money on fire.

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The St. Louis Rams tried their hardest to put up one last fight in this incredibly disappointing season, as they scored 17 points in the 4th quarter to make the NFC West champion San Francisco 49ers really sweat over earning the No. 2 seed in the playoffs and a first round bye. Ultimately, the 49ers, led by my NFL MVP pick David Akers – he only kicked two more field goals and threw a touchdown, nothing special – defeated the Rams 34-27, and that’s awesome if you’re a 49ers fan but it sucks for Rams fans. Thankfully, one Fox Sports cameraman gave Rams fans a ray of light for their New Year.

During the third quarter, the cameraman in question caught bosomy Rams cheerleader Holly (seen above) on camera and gave her the completely unnecessary but totally appreciated slow motion treatment. Who says miracles only come at Christmas?

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Well, the time comes when the lights need to be turned on and the party must end. We had a good run of 10 weeks, as we watched the league’s worst teams flop around like wounded ducks as a few of them tried to convince us they weren’t losing on purpose for the 2012 NFL Draft’s top prize – Stanford QB Andrew Luck. Unfortunately, our party is pretty much over and we can stick a fork in this Suck for Luck campaign. Barring a miracle – and by that I mean the sudden desire to win – the Indianapolis Colts will have the first pick in the next draft.

And that’s fine, because that’s what their fans and ownership openly pined for to very little criticism. Apparently the Colts are allowed to lose on purpose, so let’s all tip our caps to the eventual team that will make Luck the No. 1 pick. In the meantime, we’ll take one last rundown of the power(less) rankings – and don’t worry, we’ll still review each game in our own fun way in the coming weeks – while I try to decide if I want the Miami Dolphins Whiffin’ for Robert Griffin III or Playing Lames for LaMichael James. Maybe Losing Whack, Son for Justin Blackmon?

Decisions, decisions.

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Sadly, not photoshopped.

Suck for Luck. It’s a pretty simple phrase, right? I mean, it shouldn’t take a team of rocket scientists to comprehend that Stanford QB Andrew Luck is the top QB prospect in college football right now and his name rhymes with suck. Therefore, “Suck for Luck” isn’t exactly unique and I certainly don’t take credit for coming up with the phrase, and this certainly isn’t the only site that posts a “Suck for Luck” power ranking each week. (We’ve just been posting this one longer than the others, so thanks for that.)

I bring this up because I read a humorous argument on the Twitters last week between people taking credit for the “Suck for Luck” campaign, with one person going as far as to claim he came up with it when Luck was a freshman. I won’t point any fingers because this is frivolous and these people don’t deserve the attention, but I just wanted to take a moment to remind people that fans of the Indianapolis Colts and the Miami Dolphins actually have a reason to remain involved with their seasons, no matter what Dwight Freeney and Karlos Dansby think about it.

Let’s not ruin that by being douchebags about taking credit for something that a 5-year old could have created. If we can all agree on that, let’s get on with this week’s suck.

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For the second time in 6 years, the St. Louis Cardinals are the World Series champions. And for the second time in 6 years, people are scratching their heads and wondering, “How the f*ck did the Cardinals win the World Series?” On August 25, the Redbirds were, of course, 10.5 games back in the Wild Card race. At that same time, the Milwaukee Brewers had also established an insurmountable lead in the NL Central, so it seemed like the Cardinals didn’t have a snowball’s chance. Then they simply did what everyone loves to hate them for – they played gritty and determined, and they took advantage of other teams’ misfortunes.

It has been building for a few years now, but the Cardinals have finally developed into that team that people love to hate for no other reason than, “I hate them.” It has spread beyond the usual divisional hatred into a full-blown National League contempt. Fans of the Philadelphia Phillies despise the Cardinals for ruining “their season.” Atlanta Braves fans hate the Cards because it’s their fault that the Braves fell into one of the biggest regular season collapses in league history. And as one Milwaukee Brewers fan put it to me at Game 3 of the NCLS, “You’re the Yankees of the National League.”

I could debate that rhetoric for days, but I don’t want to spoil the moment with nonsensical arguments. Instead, the Cardinals spent yesterday celebrating with their city of “baseball’s best fans,” a title that certainly fuels the growing fire of hatred. The Birds also stopped by Edward Jones Dome to give the St. Louis Rams a little luck in their defeat of the New Orleans Saints. And the attention has already mostly turned to Albert Pujols’ destiny, but we’ll get to that later. In the meantime, Cardinals fans rejoice, everyone else – haters to the left.

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"Haha, I'm toally gonna stay in school."

Now that “Suck For Luck” is a full blown ordeal – there’s even a Twitter account devoted to it – it’s very amusing to see the general NFL fan’s reaction to the idea that teams might tank some games to secure the guy every analyst this side of Mel Kiper’s phallic eagle swoop is calling the next John Elway.

It’s public knowledge now that both Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay and Miami Dolphins majority owner Stephen Ross have expressed interest in acquiring Luck in the draft. So the rational school of thought for the average fan – I’d probably estimate an I.Q. of 75 – is that two teams of professional athletes, who are boisterous, arrogant and proud, will waste an entire season of their professional careers so they can put their fates in the hands of a guy from Stanford.

There are two things about this, as a Miami Dolphins fan, that crack me up:

1) Why on Earth would Tony Sparano and his coaching staff kowtow to Ross, who openly courted Jim Harbaugh to replace him? Why would Sparano fill the cupboard with elite talent only to have it handed to Bill Cowher in the spring?

2) And do you really think that Brandon Marshall would keep his mouth shut if someone told him to flop on some plays? He’d be demanding trades and stomping his feet to the point that Terrell Owens would be like, “Dude, chill.” Besides, he looked just fine flopping on his own last night.

Now the Colts on the other hand, they seem like they would do it and not give a crap. After all, if any of their older guys complain, they can easily be traded for draft picks. I’m sure that thought is cemented firmly in Irsay’s mind. That’s why, as I was perusing Twitter during last night’s Monday Night Football game, there was a hilarious double standard at work.

If the Colts lose a game, they get to blame Peyton Manning’s injury and nobody thinks twice. But if the Dolphins lose, they’re just sucking on purpose to get Luck. I have some news for you all – Miami really is that terrible. It’s just funny that people seem more willing to allow the Colts to put Luck behind Manning, like they’re being dumped by Marisa Miller while preparing for their date with Kate Upton.

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