If the Cubs ever win the World Series, it’s just gonna be a year full of sh*t like this. (by way of Outside The Boxscore)

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Death, Redemption, & Kisses in the Rain: Plot of The Lucky One Recreated with Reviews |Film Drunk|

How To Survive At Coachella, As Told By Miss Info, A-Trak & Childish Gambino |Smoking Section|

Meme Watch: Inappropriate Timing Bill Clinton Is Here To Liven Up This Boring @ss Press Conference |UPROXX|

UFC 145: Jones VS. Evans Official Live Thread |With Leather|

A Mini-Rant: What the Hell Happened to ‘The Office’? |Warming Glow|

Guy Who’s Better At Zelda Than You Beats Ocarina of Time in 23 Minutes |Gamma Squad|

A Man Dares To Dream, Orders Burger With 1050 Bacon Strips From Burger King |UPROXX|

Suge Knight: Tupac May Still Be Alive |UPROXX|

77-Year-Old Man Sucks Cancer From T*ttyballs, Rides Scooter, Gives No F***s, Goes To Jail |Smoking Section|

Two New Clips from Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom |Film Drunk|

25 Better Portraits For Carmelo Anthony’s New York City Apartment |With Leather|

Rosario Dawson, Mickey Rourke, and Michael Madsen Returning To Sin City |Gamma Squad|

Corgi Friday: The Best of Lawyer Dog |Warming Glow|

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As a St. Louis Cardinals fan, I’m generally regarded as more thoughtful, intelligent and ticklish than other baseball fans, because, as everyone in America has agreed unanimously to call us, we are the best fans in baseball. In reality, though, Cardinals fans are no different than any other fans of any other teams in any others sports. There are plenty of a-holes hanging out at Busch Stadium, but they’re the best a-holes in baseball, damn it.

And I know that the Redbird faithful may charge me with treason or blasphemy for leaking this little secret, but Twitter has been leaking it like a busted septic tank long enough, as evidenced by my new favorite Twitter account du jour – Baseball’s Best Fans. A sample:

Basically, a brave, anonymous baseball truther is taking on the fans of the senior circuit’s most decorated franchise and exposing them as witless, offensive, racist, homophobic dolts. Or as we like to call them… sports fans.

After the jump, enjoy a small sampling of @BestFansStLouis.

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Sorry, but Ron Swanson would be a Cardinals fan.

As a St. Louis Cardinals fan, I’m generally regarded as one of the more intelligent, classy and mustachioed fans in baseball, so when it comes to celebrities and their team allegiances, I’m a bit of a savant. However, color me depressed this morning as I discovered the above photo of Parks and Rec star Nick Offerman and The Office’s Craig Robinson (who Tweeted the above photo) representing their favorite baseball teams, the Chicago Cubs and White Sox, respectively.

I mean, I always knew that the Cardinals had the two greatest celebrity fans in me and Jon Hamm, but now I’m a little bummed that the Cubs have such a heavy hitter to help fend off the stereotype of North Side fandom perpetuated by superfan Jeremy Piven. But hey, maybe this is just a gimmick. After all the picture is from the set of a New Era commercial.

Offerman, who Robinson said has a Twitter account launching soon, grew up in the Chicago suburb of Minooka—like all Cubs fans, right?—and attended University of Illinois. He was involved in the Chicago theater scene at Steppenwolf, Goodman and Wisdom Bridge. (Via Red Eye Chicago)

On one hand, it’s pretty awesome that Offerman is finally getting on Twitter, but on the other hand… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOT THE CUBS, NICK!!! ANYONE BUT THE CUBS!!! So help me Jeebus if I find out Paul Rudd is a Kansas City Royals fan.

Oh well, guess it’s just me and you, Jon.

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Sure, the big baseball news right now is all about how Milwaukee Brewers slugger and 2011 National League MVP Ryan Braun beat the system and had his 50-game suspension overturned yesterday. Everyone was all like, “Hooray, bro! He did it! He proved that MLB players can use banned substances and not get in trouble because the FedEx guy will forget to deliver the urine on time, thus rendering the findings obsolete because of the MLB’s drug-testing policies!” Or something like that. I honestly stopped paying attention to this story the moment it was announced that a Brewers player was suspended, because my natural response was, “LOL, Bud Selig won’t suspend Brewers.”

But my silly, sarcastic conspiracy theories aside, I’m happy that Braun isn’t suspended, because he seems like a good guy. The only way he could seem any cooler would be if he had a sweet mustache like my main man Lance Berkman up there. Berkman showed up to St. Louis Cardinals – the reigning World Series champions – facilities in Jupiter, Florida sporting a new and quite porn-o-rific flavor savor. St. Louis Post-Dispatch reporter Derrick Goold Tweeted that he looks like Sgt. Slaughter, but I think he’s working towards something a little more manly.

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As I pointed out last week, President Barack Obama just loves having sports champions visit him at the White House, so it came as no surprise when the St. Louis Cardinals popped in yesterday to be honored for winning the 2011 World Series. As he does with all of his champion guests, Obama praised the Cardinals for a variety of reasons, but most notably he called them the greatest comeback team in baseball history. Then I giggled and ordered the Cardinals World Series DVD on Amazon.

But the real talk of yesterday’s visit was the people who were missing from this celebration, including the Cardinals’ former manager Tony LaRussa and Albert Pujols, who said that he wouldn’t leave the Cardinals over a difference of a few million dollars a year but then left the Cardinals over a difference of a few million dollars a year. Also missing were Gold Glove catcher Yadier Molina and pitcher Adam Wainwright, who can do whatever they please, as well as error machine Ryan Theriot, who is no longer a Cardinal and can therefore go take a poop on the moon.

After the jump you can watch the highlights of Obama’s brilliant speech about how the Cardinals are the greatest team in the history of sports and how Pujols is the devil and will be locked up for the rest of his life at Guantanamo Bay (at least that’s what I took away from it) or you can watch the whole thing here. Either way, at least check out Barry O-Bomb’s hilarious domestic violence joke, because we should all laugh at women beating their husbands with bats.

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Man, time sure does fly. It seems like just yesterday I was praising Drew Brees. Actually, it was just yesterday, but I was referring to when I named Brees and the New Orleans Saints winning Super Bowl XLIV the top Sports Moment of 2010. And you know what? That was a boring, predictable pick and it left nothing to the imagination of you, our beloved readers. You deserve more than just the run-of-the-mill year end list, because With Leatherites are smarter than the average sports blog reader, and I know that because I was called an idiot by you guys plenty this year.

You also have a better sense of humor than the average sports blog reader, so when I was entering the qualifications for this year’s Best Sports Moments into my sophisticated super computer (read: old yellow notepad) I wanted to kick the sentimental crap to the curb and really focus on what makes us all tick – namely, poop jokes and hot models. But mostly fun sports moments. As always, I don’t expect everyone to agree, and I’m sure that I left out a few moments here and there (sorry hockey). So feel free to school us on your biggest moments of the year, and let’s all hope that 2012 is a little more sex scandal free…

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