A few years ago, when I was still in my broke, we-need-to-cram-a-bunch-of-people-into-this-hotel-room-to-save-money phase (not very far removed), some friends and I were in St. Pete to watch UCF get demolished by Rutgers in the Poopyfart Rental Furniture Random Sponsor St. Petersburg Bowl. Of course, like most morons, we wanted to be up as early as possible to go tailgate, but ESPN was showing the 30 for 30 special The U and we were just glued to the TV.

It just baffles me that ESPN can make a series so amazing, yet they give actual American money to Jon Gruden to felate Tony Romo on Monday Night Football.

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Every NFL season, I reach a point of retrospect, when I look back at my fantasy drafts to determine which players I could have picked instead of who I actually picked. I know, it’s stupid because what the hell did I know then? I’m just glad that I grabbed Alfred Morris so I could ride him until Mike Shanahan trades for Kevin Smith and Ronnie Brown. But the one player that I’ve looked back on already was Jay Cutler, who I was convinced was going to be the premium backup option this year.

When I’m wrong, I’m really f*cking wrong.

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Despite being absolutely mauled in a three-game sweep at the hands of their villainous arch-rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals – this is how I assume every article in the Midwest began last night and this morning, by the way – the Chicago Cubs left Busch Stadium with their heads high and a positive attitude. In fact, the whole team decided to dress up in zany costumes, as has been a “hilarious” trend throughout the league this season and seasons past.

As you can see above, some of the Cubbies honored their favorite super heroes, while others dressed as video game and movie characters. And even after the 23-1 ass-stompery, which included a 7th inning for the ages in Game 2 on Saturday, the Cubs stood by their promise to dress up and have some fun.

“I have to do it,’’ Alfonso Soriano said of the commitment to put on his costume after a 7-0 loss. “I don’t want to do it now, but everybody else is doing it, so I think I have to do it.’’

Though some other staff and players also seemed reluctant, nearly everyone complied with the event, which had been planned, and once postponed, since spring training, including Ryan “Captain America” Dempster, Anthony “Buzz Lightyear” Rizzo, Carlos “Zorro” Marmol and manager Dale “Hellboy” Sveum. (Via the Chicago Sun-Times)

Of course, their fun couldn’t be dampened solely by the fact that they lost 3 straight games, instead some of the Cubs also had to be reminded that they were dressing up as Batman characters only a few days after the Aurora, CO shooting. If that wasn’t completely bad enough – and short of a reporter running over Ryan Dempster’s dog – the Sun-Times also reminded everyone that this weekend was a celebration of Ron Santo’s life for Cubs fans, and he absolutely loathed costume days.

All in all, I’d say the Cubs probably feel like complete crap today. But at least they’re having fun.

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Whereas 2011 was a high point in investigative journalism with the Jerry Sandusky and Bernie Fine cases, 2012 is clearly the year of streaker news. Already, our good friend Jon Bois at SB Nation has been keeping incredible track of the baseball season’s early abundance of streakers – most notably in Baltimore – but last night’s game between the Cardinals and Phillies at Busch Stadium marked the pinnacle in the journalistic attention to naked dudes.

Between our other good friend Matt Sebek from Joe Sports Fan and Yahoo! baseball writer Jeff Passan, we were given a clinic on how you cover and investigate a naked man on a baseball field. Thanks to Passan, we know that last night’s Busch streaker is 22-year old Jefferson Cirty landscaper Collin Grundstrom – talk about a Yard Crasher! *slide whistle* – and we also learned that he rushed the field for the most important reason of all – why the f*ck not?

“I’m gonna streak,” he announced at the beginning of the St. Louis Cardinals-Philadelphia Phillies game to those within earshot of Section 133, Row 5, Seat 4. At first, they chuckled. Then they started to believe him. Which was followed by attempts to dissuade him. And ultimate acceptance that, yes, Grundstrom was gonna streak, and it was only a matter of when.

“He was very nonchalant,” said Sheila Welch, a Cardinals fan who sat behind Grundstrom. “I tried to tell him he’d go to jail. He didn’t care. I hope his friend thinks that was awesome.”

The most important aspect of this story – even more important than that incredibly well-taken banner image – is that Grundstrom has a large tattoo across his midsection and Passan also pointed out that it reads: “Hakuna Matata”. It means no worries for the rest of your life, except when a fat security guard is Tazing you.

Video after the jump, via Joe Sports Fan, and while it’s taken from a distance, it is still a naked dude so use your discretion.

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One of my all-time favorite things to do is scour the depths of Etsy for random crap, because it’s just amazing how much awesomely ridiculous stuff people can create and sell on the Internet these days. But nothing gets my PayPal account pumping more than the sports gear that dedicated Etsy sellers have whipped up, and that’s why I want to devote this new weekly feature to finding my favorite Etsy sports merchandise, starting with that Tim Tebow pillar candle above.

Sure, I just pointed out that Tebow’s got a team of trademark-happy lawyers that are suing people for making things that don’t even mention the New York Jets backup QB’s name, but that’s not going to stop any of us from grabbing one of these $5 candles and letting the Jets fan upstairs know that we’re pushing for Tebow to get the other New York team a Super Bowl win.

After the jump, get in the gift-giving mood, because Etsy’s got every sport covered…

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Since winning the 2011 World Series, the St. Louis Cardinals have had a special motto during their road trips – #HappyFlight. Because most of the guys on the roster came up with each other in the minors, they have one of those brotherly bond things happening that I’m sure is only slightly less annoying to non-Cardinals fans than hearing about how their fans, of which I am one, are the classiest and most intelligent in baseball. *tilts top hat, spits tobacco juice*

But as for those happy flights, the Cardinals just try to have fun and keep everyone happy, which is why they showed up to AT&T Park yesterday wearing the goofiest outfits they could find. Led by David Freese, who wore some sort of Dr. Seuss-mescaline-inspired red tuxedo, and Lance Berkman in a bright pink ruffled tux, the reigning world champs shot a torpedo of hilarity into the bond between fashion and sports. And then they hit the field and committed 3 errors to hand the game to the San Francisco Giants.

Perhaps before they play the Los Angeles Dodgers today, they can wear cargo nets between their legs.

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