If you’re like me, you’re absolutely tired of the drama and the all around piss poor PR mess created by both the Orlando Magic and Dwight Howard over the past 9 or 10 months. If you’re unfamiliar with this mess that I speak of, allow me to give you a rundown:

• Dwight Howard told the Orlando Magic that they either needed to surround him with players he had a part in selecting or he would ask to be traded.
• The Magic tried and failed because nobody wanted their crappy contracts.
• Dwight Howard asked to be traded.
• The Magic asked Dwight what it would take to keep him, he said, “Fire Stan Van Gundy.” (They later did.)
• Dwight denied ever saying that.
• Before the trade deadline, Dwight insisted that the Magic trade him, preferably to the New Jersey Nets.
• The Magic reportedly told him he’d be going to the Lakers.
• Dwight waived his opt-out option to remain with the Magic.
• The season ended.
• Everyone in the media made a whole bunch of sh*t up.

We know that the Magic have entertained multiple trade offers for Howard from teams like the Lakers, Houston Rockets, and Brooklyn Nets, among others, but nobody seems to know what players were actually involved, which teams were taking which bad contracts, and what draft picks were going where. Unless you ask Nets GM Billy King, who will probably say that the Magic are a bunch of doodie heads for not taking his awesome pupu platter that led the Nets to 21 wins last year.

Basically, everything that has been “reported” has come through the magical “sources” of ESPN beacons of integrity like Chris Broussard, local Orlando media hacks, and people just regurgitating what Howard’s friends are telling them. So take it with another huge grain of salt when Broussard “reports” today that “sources” are telling him something new.

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Earlier this month, Orlando’s Local 6 Sports Director David “Ping” Pingalore reported that Dwight Howard told Orlando Magic management that he wanted coach Stan Van Gundy fired. This story “broke” on April 4, and it led to one of the most amazingly awkward interviews in NBA history, when Van Gundy told reporters point blank that he knew Howard tried to have him fired, and then Howard interrupted the interview and put his arm around Van Gundy, completely oblivious to what just happened. Howard’s reaction when the reporters filled him looked a little like this:

The problem with Ping’s report was that it wasn’t anything new. Magic writers like Jarrod Rudolph had reported months ago that Howard wanted Van Gundy out, but it went unnoticed because it hadn’t been preceded by two months of trade deadline drama. Ping’s “sources” – which we’ll discuss in a moment – and their #HOTTGOSS were more timely and convenient for the NBA media that needed something to fill the downtime between the trade deadline and the playoffs. So Ping was heralded for this so-called scoop, and he was given a free pass for his next aimless, unsubstantiated breaking story.

That story, of course, was this week’s report that Howard refused to play for Van Gundy and was faking his herniated disc injury as a protest. Well if that’s true, Howard is the most committed liar since George Costanza, because he is having season-ending surgery that will require four months of recovery.

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As we’ve discussed in the past, you can’t have much of a conversation about recent New York Jets acquisition Tim Tebow without religion being mentioned. Whether it’s our juvenile jokes or the fiery rages of cable news debate, Tebow’s No. 1 claim to fame isn’t that he’s a former Heisman Trophy winner and BCS champion quarterback, but that he really loves God.

So it goes without saying that certain religious figures would list Tebow as their favorite athlete, and that seems to be the case with televangelist Pat Robertson, who took time out from spreading the gospel to complain about the Denver Broncos giving up on Tebow for that washed up bum, Peyton Manning.

“I think the Denver Broncos treated him shabbily. He won seven games. He brought them into the playoffs, for heaven sakes. I mean, they were a nothing team. He rallied them together with spectacular last-minute passes and, you know, when they beat Buffalo — I mean, Pittsburgh — it was a tremendous victory.”

Buffalo in the playoffs? Now I know that you’re just a senile old coot.

“And you just ask yourself, OK, Peyton Manning was a tremendous MVP quarterback, but he’s been injured. If that injury comes back, Denver will find itself without a quarterback — and in my opinion, it would serve them right.”

I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with what Robertson said, really, because it actually seems like common sense commentary – “If Manning gets injured, the Broncos have nothing.” Unfortunately, common sense doesn’t make good headlines. In fact, it’s a lot more fun if you take what Robertson said – that if Manning gets injured, maybe Denver deserves to be screwed – and make it much more scandalous.

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From the cover of today's Florida Times Union.

A number of fake Twitter accounts were responsible for yesterday’s bevy of misinformation regarding which team Tim Tebow was actually being traded to, and while it really was quite humorous watching actual reporters deliver false news, it was ultimately frustrating. Either way, Tebow is 100% a New York Jet now, and the only thing we need to know moving forward is that the Jacksonville Jaguars are the big losers.

Disclaimer: I don’t actually believe that. But that’s the message that a good amount of media types have been conveying ad nauseum, as they shake their fists and stomp their feet at owner Shad Kahn and the Jags for not trading for Tebow. Of course, their reason wasn’t that he’d help the Jags win. No, they only care that he’d sell tickets, something that the Jags haven’t been very good at.

Despite that completely asinine reasoning, Kahn was forced to deliver a statement on why he didn’t acquire Tebow.

“Earlier this week I asked Gene Smith and his staff to explore the potential of acquiring Tim Tebow. I think we have a duty to consider all avenues of improving the Jaguars on and off the field, especially given the unique circumstances involving the player. I appreciate the high level of due diligence Gene and his staff dedicated to this matter, even as late as this evening, and I am very satisfied with the outcome. Our commitment to developing Blaine Gabbert was, and still is, central to our goal of returning the Jaguars to elite status in the NFL. We’re looking ahead with zero regrets.”

Blaine Gabbert is not a bad quarterback. He was drafted early in the first round for a reason, and that’s to help the Jags win. All the Jags have ever needed are wide receivers that can hold onto the ball. If they get a few of those, they could actually win games, and seeing as Florida rivals only New York in bandwagon sports fans, that would put asses in those empty, tarp-covered seats.

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By all accounts, the Denver Broncos’ victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday was a lot of things for NFL fans – entertaining, agonizing, frustrating and exciting to name a few – but for sports writers across the country, it was a second Christmas. Tebow earned his first NFL playoff victory by decimating an injury-riddled Steelers defense, posting the second best passer rating of his young career (125.6) and setting a NFL playoff record by averaging 31.6 yards per completion. And it’s that number, 31.6, or rather the 316 yards that he passed for, that has allowed the media’s loudest voices to shout down their biblical comparisons from the Internet heavens.

316, of course, reminds us of John 3:16, the Bible passage that reads: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” But instead of talking about how Demaryius Thomas humiliated Ike Taylor on the 80-yard touchdown that both opened and closed overtime, or how underrated and increasingly dangerous the Broncos defense is, we’re talking about Tebow’s religion. Again.

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The list of Heisman Trophy finalists has finally been released and, just as expected, it is going to blow your minds with the most controversial picks in the history of college football!!! Just kidding, it’s the same guys that we’ve expected for most of the season. Along with frontrunners Cam Newton of Auburn and LaMichael James of Oregon are Stanford’s Andrew Luck and Boise State’s Kellen Moore. Surprisingly, I don’t see Jacory Harris mentioned anywhere in this list, even though my Miami friends swore it was all him this season. Very odd.

Newton and James will meet up for the Heisman ceremony this Saturday, about one month before they meet for the National Championship game in Tempe, Arizona. Meanwhile, Luck’s Stanford team will take on Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl and Moore’s Broncos will play Utah in the MAACO Bowl in Las Vegas. And everyone will live happily ever after, because there has been absolutely no controversy over this Heisman race, has there Huffington Post?

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