Because it’s cold outside, get it? The MLB.com description of this clip is adorable:
A Rockies fan takes in the first game of the Mets-Rockies doubleheader with a snowman friend
Here’s the clip, followed by the best idea I’ve ever had (ever).
That was the announcement from @UMMaizeRage, the “official twitter of the University of Michigan Maize Rage, college basketball’s most passionate and attractive student section.” I don’t know why they picked jorts — the colloquial name for jean shorts — but they seemed pretty jazzed about it.
This, courtesy of Lost Letterman via Instagram, was the result:
"ALL RIGHT WHITE POWER WOOO"
I’m not an expert on soccer, and I’m certainly no authority on civil rights, but if I’ve learned one thing from being on the Internet for 15 years, it’s that anything prefaced with, “I’m not racist, but,” is about to get really racist.
Case in point: A supporters group for Russian Premier League team FC Zenit St. Petersburg have responded to the signing of Brazilian striker ‘Hulk’ with a carefully-worded thing about how people with brown skin hurt their national identity. If that sounds shifty to you, don’t worry: they aren’t racists. They say so right at the beginning!
“We’re not racists but we see the absence of black players at Zenit as an important tradition,” Zenit fan club Landscrona said in a letter, called the “Selection 12 manifesto”, posted on its website (www.landscrona.ru) on Monday.
“It would allow Zenit to maintain the national identity of the club, which is the symbol of St Petersburg.” [...]
“We only want players from other brotherly Slav nations, such as Ukraine and Belarus as well as from the Baltic states and Scandinavia. We have the same mentality and historical and cultural background as these nations,” the letter said.
I’m pretty sure a team’s fans issuing weird statements like this does more to hurt your national identity than a guy having slightly darker skin than his teammates, but what do I know?
As an added bonus, the group made sure to (randomly) include a little aside at the end about how gay people don’t try hard enough to get good at soccer. I’m not sure whether they hurt or help the symbolized national identity of St. Pete. This is also the biggest “everyone in soccer is gay” lay-up joke in Internet history, if you enjoy those.
Barring a miracle, the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. That’s reality, folks. Of the 30 teams down 3-1 in NBA Finals history, a whopping zero of them have pulled off the come-from-behind. That puts the Oklahoma City Thunder’s chances at roughly zilch with a 1% margin of error. However, that 1% would require Scott Brooks to start coaching like he belongs in the Finals and the rest of the Thunder to forget about the refs and man up.
But until that miracle occurs, we can expect an influx of “swag” being thrown in the face of “haters”. After last night’s 104-98 win, LeBron James is on the cusp of ending nearly 9 years of talk that he can’t close the deal, or that he doesn’t rise to the occasion. He knows it’s coming. Dwyane Wade knows it’s coming. Hell, he even stole a page from my book and wore the Dwayne Wayne glasses last night.
And when those two know it, Heat fans know it.
Those fans down in South Florida are a special breed. I know, I grew up down there and had to deal with it all for far longer than I would have liked. They’re obnoxiously devoted, despite the fact that some of them will jump ship at the first sign of losing. The Heat aren’t losing, though, and that means those fans are about to be louder than ever, because they just don’t care what the haters think.
We just have put on our white sunglasses and deal with them. Who are they, you ask? Let’s take a look.
Foul balls — people who want them, and the fatter, meaner people who end up taking them — have become an important topic of discussion at With Leather. The latest talking point comes to us from the Tampa Bay Rays/Oakland Athletics game at Tropicana Field on Saturday night, and features a “best of” selection of foul ball atrocities: grown men fighting, ejections, children left desperately yearning and a security guard making tough calls like he’s an actual law enforcement agent.
The Rays TV broadcast team of Dewayne Staats, Brian Anderson, and Todd Kalas tell the story, by way of Sports Grid:
I think that’s the best solution I’ve ever seen to grown men battling each other in a trash can. Just leave the ball in the trash and don’t let anybody get it. It gets better when you watch the video and see the people sitting around telling their best AW MAN HERE’S WHAT I SHOULDA SAID TO HIM versions of the story while the Rays just flounder (fish reference) and get shut out. I was hoping some a-hole would try to outsmart the security guy by picking up the entire trash can and walking away with it.
Lesson learned, again: Foul balls are not important enough for you to be acting like this.
You wouldn’t normally think of Match.com as a place to go for sports news, but here we are: The online dating company has polled their 20 million-plus members to find out which U.S. cities have the highest number of female baseball fans. This is the kind of thing Baseball Reference should be doing. I don’t need to know how many pitchers have tripled in the 8th inning since 1972, I need to know that if I walk into Progressive Field wearing a Ryan Garko jersey I can walk out dating something besides myself.
So who topped the list? If you’ve been staring at that picture of Anna Kournikova in the header, you should already know.
So where are the hot beds for ladies who love baseball? We looked up the top 10 cities for baseball crazed gals and we found that our community has some serious baseball fans! In fact, nearly half of the women in St. Louis are baseball fans according to their Match.com profile. Even in our 10th ranked city, the Twin Cities metro, over a third of the women are fans of the boys of summer.
That’s not a huge surprise. Everyone I’ve met from St. Louis who wasn’t one of Nelly’s St. Lunatics has been awesome. Milwaukee, Fresno, Cincinnati and Worcester fill out the top five, which seems to have been decided upon based on the cuteness and strength of their closest team’s most popular player. So no, if I tried to pick up girls at the Prog it wouldn’t work — I’d have to travel 40 minutes south to Akron, Ohio (#9) where “the women of The Tribe are showing their support”. I wondered where they were doing that. Most of the women I know in Cleveland assume the Indians suck whether they’re in first place for three and a half months or not.
Akron comes in just behind Des Moines, Iowa, referred to on the list as the home of the movie The Field of Dreams. That’s probably my third favorite baseball movie, behind 61 Home Runs and Eight Of The Men Are Out.
[via Match.com]
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