Meet Sporting Kansas City’s Jimmy Nielsen. He’s lying on the ground because a soccer ball touched him. In soccer. The sport where he’s a goalkeeper. The guy who stands in front of soccer balls and lets them hit him.

Juninho of the New York Red Bulls decided for whatever reason to kick a dead ball at Nielsen. It hit Jimmy in the chest, so of course he went totally limp, collapsed to the ground and pretended it hit him in the face. Maybe stopping a soccer ball is a “nails on a chalkboard” thing, or smelling your own farts. When you’re in control of it, it’s fine. When somebody else does it, it’s the end of the world, and all you can do is lie motionless until everyone involved has been removed.

Soccer, everybody. Video is after the jump.

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Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco started his tryout with Sporting KC of MLS today, and everyone seems to be covering this like a real story, as if he had a chance to make the team and totally wasn’t being milked for publicity like a common cow. What say you, Hall of Fame mouth Michael Strahan?

Ochocinco was supposed to finish his NFL lockout inspired 4-day trial with Sporting Kansas City tomorrow — but he’s been asked to stick around until Monday so he can participate in their reserve game.

After that … it’s pretty much curtains … a certainty even SKC’s coach is preaching.

But Strahan doesn’t think it’s all for naught … saying, “[SKC] know what they’re doing. Give [Chad] a chance and get a little bit out of him at the same time.”

–TMZ.

Watch video of Chad’s tryout after the jump. I wish Chad would just suck it up and devote all of his energy to starting Major League Kickball.

Vid via Eye On Football.