Quick show of hands. Who’s tired of zombies?

If your hand isn’t up, you’re going to love this clip for a Norwegian sporting goods store called XXL. In it, a town gets attacked by zombies and the citizens band together and kill them using sports. And, uh, fine sporting goods, available at your local XXL, I guess! Zombies lose their arms trying to play golf, get soccer balls kicked at their heads and get herded into a stadium where a bunch of hockey guys and gymnasts and waiting to Braveheart them to death.

It’s the kind of thing that wins Emmy awards in the United States, but the people of Norway weren’t having it — the commercial is getting the Madonna “only play it after x-o’clock” treatment, because I guess “in the middle of the night, when you are lonely and watching television” is the only time you are mentally prepared to be hypothetically killed by dead people.

Despite its gratuitous comical nonsense, viewers in Norway complained after the commercial for sporting goods store XXL aired during family-oriented programming, calling it irrelevant, disgusting and stupid, according to a Huffington Post translation of a Norwegian news website.

The commercial will now air after 9 p.m., when it will target teenagers and other zombies. (via HuffPo)

Of course, this is HuffPo, so there’s a chance the website said, “lol, watch this funny commercial” and nobody in Norway cares.

Anyway, here’s the clip. Wait until after 9 PM to watch it, please.

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When I was in high school, I tried to saw a surfboard in half and turn the pieces into bookshelves to impress a girl. What I didn’t know was that A) sawing a surfboard in half is freaking ridiculously hard without the right saw and 2) I was a moron and girls hated me. So I was left with two worthless, jagged halves of a surfboard and a newfound burden of poor taste for kitschy decorating that has stuck with me today. What’s that? Hell yeah that original Peaches Records crate would look awesome in my living room!

The other day I was doing my random web surfery when I came across a post on Environmental Graffiti that brought me back to that awkward day in my garage with that rusty saw blade and 47% chance of ripping my ring finger to pieces. It seems there are actually other people out there who know what they’re doing when it comes to salvaging surfboards, skis, snowboards, bikes and even bowling balls and making something useful and creative out of them.

God help me if these images of genuine creativity reignite my desire to turn crap into treasure, resulting in a trip to the emergency room. After all, a man can’t write d*ck jokes with 9 fingers.

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