I don’t think this sort of thing is funny necessarily, but I’m amused that a guy can look at an exercise ball in his house and think to himself, “I need to throw this at my girlfriend’s face. And get it on video! Because that would be hilarious!” I have no idea how any human being in a relationship could think of that and not acknowledge it as the worst idea ever. Having said that, these men sacrificed their better judgement (and probably their relationships) for our amusement, and so we should probably enjoy the fruits of their labor. They would have wanted it that way. Read the rest of this entry »

If you were hoping to enjoy some pleasures of the flesh with your Super Bowl experience, Phoenix police have a warning for you:

Phoenix Police said on Friday they have teamed up with the FBI and other local law enforcement agencies to crackdown on sex workers heading to the city for the National Football League's championship clash on February 3. Sergeant Joel Tranter said officers will be working undercover to arrest call girls working in hotels, prostitutes working street corners, and sex workers advertising services on the Internet ahead of the bash. "If you want to come to Phoenix and join in the party, welcome to Phoenix," Tranter told Reuters. "If you are a part of that very small criminal element that wants to come here and set up prostitution operations, we're warning you right now: don't do it," he added.

I wonder what  Sgt. Tranter will be wearing when he's undercover? And I wonder all the guys in the vice squad room call him "Tranny"? I say boo-urns to this preemptive action by Phoenix's finest. Along with football, the Super Bowl celebrates America. And what's more American than free market capitalism? If a comely entrepreneur wants to charge me $100, so I can apply a modified Kitchen Aid mixer to her body, it's my God-given right as an American. -KD

How the hell did you fail Algebra II?  All you have to do is write the quadratic formula on your arm before the tests.  Anyway, when you're at summer school tomorrow, here's some dish for all the bitches in study hall.  You know how the lovely Gemma Atkinson (pictured above) is supposed to be with Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo?  Well, she was recently spotted with Charlton's Marcus Bent:

They were “definitely together” but “not completely all over each other”, says our insider spy.  The two also spent time taking lots of photos of each other and asking passersby to take the odd pic of them as well.

Oooh, C-Ron is gonna be mad.  Maybe Gemma's doing this to get back at him for his tryst with the lovely Bipasha Basu.  And isn't Bent dating the lovely Danielle Lloyd?  Those two are always breaking up and getting back together.  And Gemma hooked up with former Man U forward Alan Smith after she started going steady with Cristiano.  What a soccer slut!  (To Gemma: No offense, I just adopted this voice for the post.  I actually adore sluts 'sporting girls'.  Call me.  Love, KD)

{Kickette}     

If you enjoy gossip mongering nearly 90 years after the fact, then Harvey Frommer has the book for you.  In his Five O'Clock Lightning to be released in November, Frommer reveals the shocking news that Babe Ruth frequented whorehouses (gasp!):

During one bacchanalian bash, Frommer says, "Seizing the moment, savoring the time, perhaps a bit tipsy, the Babe climbed atop a piano and bellowed at the women, 'OK, girls, anyone who does not want to get [bleep]ed now can leave!'" When he traveled with the Yanks, one of Ruth's favorite brothels was the oddly named "House of the Good Shepherd" in St. Louis. "Babe exiting the whorehouse would always stop off next door at a bakery at about five in the morning and gulp down a dozen freshly baked donuts. He could never get his fill," Frommer relates. He says Ruth's favorite women were "mostly prostitutes, who in the 1910s and 1920s spoke of themselves as 'sporting girls.'

Hmm, 'sporting girls'?  I like that.  That makes me an athlete.  The "Curse of the Bambino" probably had a much different meaning in the red-light districts of AL cities in the '20s and '30s.  Too bad the miracle of penicillin was still a decade away, so most of these ladies had to pay for indulging the hedonistic appetites of the "Sultan of Social Disease".  Wouldn't it be great if we had a wonder drug now for a gentleman's ailment?  Seriously – how about it science?  The pain is making me pass out when I urinate. -KD