After a brief hiatus, the Sports On TV column returns with one of the most requested shows ever: Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s 16-season strong cultural landmark, ‘South Park’.

‘South Park’ has been around since 1997, and has changed along with the times. When it started, Parker and Stone were getting $1,200 to make video Christmas cards for Fox executives. In 2012, they are influential, Tony Award-winning, multi-millionaire media moguls. One thing hasn’t changed: in season one, Kenny was getting ripped apart by football players. In season 16, Tom Brady is guzzling a Gatorade bottle of a child’s semen. Sports are one of the weirdest, stupidest, most ritualistic and overly-glorififed things human beings can do, and ‘South Park’ has been in tune with that since the very beginning.

So, in the Interest of easing us back into regular Thursday columns, here are my choices for the 20 greatest South Park sports moments. Like a lot of the shows we do, there are a ton of moments we had to leave out, so a part 2 will probably happen. If we left out your favorite moment, or you have something to say about a moment we chose, be sure to drop down into our comments section and let us know.

As an added bonus, participating in the discussion and sharing the column on Twitter or Facebook (courtesy of one of those handy buttons at the bottom of the post) will net you the BAT DAD BADGE. You don’t want the Bat Dad Badge? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

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It’s just your typical “Special Olympian nails buzzer beater that really wasn’t a buzzer beater but nobody cares because the kid’s kinda retarded and it’s a nice moment for everyone” video. This is exactly how I feel whenever I watched Bengals games in the 1990s. Aw, they’re trying to act like real people! Isn’t that nice? Yeah, this kind of is, actually.
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Eunice Kennedy Shriver, who started the Special Olympics and coined the shorthand for every joke about the mentally handicapped in America, died earlier this morning. She was 88.

Her faith in the athletes of Special Olympics was unfailing, even from the very start. When she was young and Special Olympics was still just an idea, few people particularly cared or knew about people with intellectual disabilities. Fewer still shared or understood her dream to awaken the spirit and denied potential of this forgotten population. And yet, though others could not see, she still believed, conceiving Special Olympics in her heart before she could unveil it on the field of play. via.

Eunice’s love and desire to acknowledge the disabled as functional members of society has helped shape our views about them, but perhaps not in the best way. In a time where seemingly everyone is deemed “special,” where our society becomes more and more integrated along the lines of gender, race, and even ability, Shriver’s vision of an isolated environment for these people leading difficult lives might have contradicted her end goal–acceptance. But maybe this was the first step. A step toward embracing all retards. Um, handicapped.

Blytheville, Arkansas police were searching for a 'Travis Henderson' who had failed to appear in court on a reckless driving charge, when they discovered a man who answered to that name. Naturally, they Tasered him. Unfortunately, as Memphis News Channel 3 reports, it was the wrong man:

[Police] stopped the wrong 'Travis Henderson' simply because one of the officers recognized him either from school or from his Special Olympics fame. "(3 On Your Side) DID (YOUR OFFICERS) CHECK THEIR BIRTHDATES?" "(Blytheville Police Chief Ross Thompson) They actually did, and they found they were very similar." "(3 On Your Side) BUT NOT THE SAME." "(Thompson) But not the same."

Still, the wrong Henderson did resist arrest:

3 On Your Side obtained the Taser cam footage of the incident . . . There is an exchange of words between Henderson and Officer Ward: "(Officer Ward) O.K., don't resist…" "(Henderson) O.K." "(Officer Ward)…'cause you're gonna get Tased." "(Henderson) I'm not…" A few seconds later, Henderson screams as he receives a single "drive-stun," a low-level burst of electricity.

To be fair, this guy did have same name of the suspect. Most metropolitan police forces would have arrested him just because he fit the description. He was between 5'0" and 7'0", over 12 years of age, and African-American. -KD

{Thanks to 100% Injury Rate.}