A 61-year old South African man was murdered by his family last weekend after changing the channel on their TV to watch World Cup soccer. The man – from the Makweya, Limpopo (Read: Florida) province – refused his family’s pleas to watch gospel programming on such a lovely Sunday, so his wife and kids smashed his face into the wall until he surrendered the remote and his will to live. And if my girlfriend is reading this, I swear I will never give you another Dutch Oven again.

David Makoeya’s wife, Francina (68), with the help of her 36-year old son Collin and 23-year old daughter Lebogang, grabbed him when he went to manually change the channel and put an end to his football-loving ways. In fairness, they didn’t beat him completely to death, and they called the police when he was merely clinging for life in a bloody heap on the floor. But as the police arrived, David heard the glorious vuvuzelas beckoning him to the afterlife.

Feel free to watch whatever you want, NBC Sports:

All three were arrested Sunday night, but Lebogang was released on $200 bail Tuesday, Malefo said. The other two are still being held in custody.

Malefo said the mother and son will reappear in the local Seshego Magistrates Court on July 27.

“He was always a happy man, never violent,” Makoeya’s nieces, Miriam and Anna, told the Daily Sun newspaper. “On Saturday, we saw him the last time at a funeral.”

Shockingly, this is not the first case of violence ever reported in South Africa; however, it has been towered over by labor protests in the region that have greatly embarrassed the World Cup’s organizers. But what did they expect? You put that many European athletes in one region and of course girls will eventually go into labor.

(Thanks to Upstate Underdog for sharing the remote; picture source here)

Caster Semenya, that South African middle distance sprinter whose gender identity came under fire after winning the 800 meters in Berlin last summer, is getting sick of sitting around while the governing bodies of track and field decide whether she’s eligible to compete as a female.

“I hereby publicly announce my return to athletics competitions,” Semenya said in a statement on Tuesday shortly after a meet in South Africa denied the 19-year-old world champion’s request to run.

“I am an athlete first and foremost and it is vital for my competitiveness, my well being and for my preparations for events during the European summer that I measure my performance against other athletes,” she said.

The IAAF, the sport’s international governing body, doesn’t seem to be in any real hurry to resolve her case. Read the rest of this entry »

Some (but not all) of the testing results are starting to leak out from the gender identity test for Caster Semenya, that South African runner who blew everyone away in the women’s 800m race at the world championships in Berlin last week.

Tests have revealed Caster Semenya’s testosterone level to be three times higher than those normally expected in a female sample[...]

A high level of the hormone does not always equate to a failed drugs test. via.

Triple the average testosterone level? You don’t say…Meanwhile Semenya received a hero’s welcome in Johannesburg earlier today, and Athletics South Africa president Leonard Chuene resigned from his post at the IAAF, track’s international governing body, claiming “We are not going to allow Europeans to describe and define our children.” Take that, Europe! What do you white people know about who’s male and who’s female. Well, more than Eddie Murphy, probably. Wow, really? That’s the best tranny reference we can pull, something that happened 12 years ago? I really need to update my “Trannies in the News” blog more often.

International track officials are asking South African sprinter Caster Semenya, who won gold at the women’s 800m event at the world championships in Berlin, “Semen in ya?” You can’t find humor like that anywhere else; maybe that’s a good thing. Anyway, some people think she’s a dude, especially after her vast improvement from a year ago. And, uh, her physique certain doesn’t help sway suspicion that she may be, in fact, a “he.”

The IAAF’s general secretary, Pierre Weiss, who replaced Semenya at the medallists’ news conference, said an investigation into her gender was under way in South Africa and Berlin, pointing out that the IAAF had allowed her to compete, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

“But one question is clear,” Weiss said. “If at the end of the investigation it is proven the athlete is not a female, we will withdraw the result of the competition today.” He added it could take weeks before a conclusion is reached. via.

The questions were flying after Semenya posted an 800m time 16 seconds better than her effort from last year. And even though she may have consumed a suite of performance enhancers during that time, I doubt that she grew a penis. That said, I wouldn’t put anything past those limey pricks in South Africa entering a male in a female event. If you can keep Nelson Mandela locked up for 200 years, what would stop you?