Bengals wideout Chad Whatzisname is on a mission to prove that his ludicrous antics were nothing more than a precursor to the bullsh that he’s going to pull in 2009. Ochocinco, who put up almost-career-low stats last season (540 yards, 4 touchdowns), was asked about his frequent use of Twitter during an interview by KGOW radio in Houston. From Sports Radio Interviews:

I have my own application coming out where people will be able to interact and follow me. You know more than through just the keyboard and reading my messages – you’ll actually be able to follow me and when the season starts, it’s going to get even worse. I’m going to really make it fun. I’m using Twitter during games, during halftime, after the games. I’m going to be taking it to the next level.”

I’m so tired of this prick. I get that some people find his personality to be an asset to the game, but when you can’t back it up on the field, it’s best for everyone involved to just button it until you can. YOU CAUGHT FEWER BALLS LAST YEAR THAN KEVIN FREAKING WALTER FOR THE TEXANS. Go to camp. Study film. I don’t know, maybe MAKE AN EFFORT TO IMPROVE. Quit trying to be Dennis Rodman. One Dennis Rodman is one too many, anyway.

The brass of some these dubious NFL squads are creating fake facebook pages using pictures of pretty girls and a bit of perverse ingenuity. Kinda like blogging, really. This comes from a report on Yahoo! written by Charles Robinson, who was great in Night Court, by the way. Teams use these accounts to gain access to draft prospects’ facebook pages, rifle through their pictures and personal info to develop better interview questions. Once the draft is over, the accounts are deleted.

Rick Spielman remembers one Myspace page, the kind that makes a personnel man sit up in his seat, reach for a pencil, and push a particular question to the top of his list…“He had a big picture of a bunch of drug money and drugs on a carpet,” the Vikings’ vice president of player personnel said, shaking his head. “It was the kind of thing that, you know, it was under his name. So when we had some time with him, of course we were like ‘What is this all about?’ … It was an interesting conversation. He had a legitimate explanation for what happened and we followed up on it and we believe it was what he said it was. But that’s one of the things that happens [with networking profiles].”

I feel a lot less perverted now that I know that the NFL and I are doing the exactly the same things to the facebook accounts of 21- and 22-year-olds. You know, except for the furious masturbating. But I’m sure a puritan monopoly like the NFL would never cop to such a thing outside of the confessional booth. The kind of booth with the coin slots and the sliding window shade, that is.