"Oi, and then I pay dat pasty bird tree quid to snog us boff."

There’s been a running theme on gossip and sports blogs for a few years that when L.A. Galaxy star David Beckham attends L.A. Lakers games, he gets a little case of the wandering eye. Basically, he’s often caught checking out Lakers Girls from his courtside seats. But in fairness to the newest Burger King spokesman:

1) The pictures are almost always taken out of context, because cameras likely catch him as he’s looking around in between plays. I mean, unless you show me a picture of him holding a sign that reads: “Check out the milk bags on that one!” I’m inclined to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. (Counterpoint: He’s a billionaire with a working penis.)

B) Have you seen Lakers Girls? HOT and DAMN.

Regardless, David reminded everyone last night why he doesn’t even need to look at other assorted ass, as he was joined at courtside by his wife, Scary Sporty Baby Ginger Posh Victoria, for Game 2 of the Lakers/Nuggets series. The Lakers squeaked out a 104-100 win over Denver, but the real winners were the fans at the Staples Center who got to watch the Beckhams on the Kiss Cam and think, “Aw, they have everything.”

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If you guessed “the biggest imaginary load ever shot by man, European cursing and a police ass escort”, congratulations! (via OTB)

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"Hello, I am the Kaká."

If you had asked me to name the athlete with the most followers on Twitter, I would have asked for a hint. You’d say, “He plays soccer” and I’d reply, “Ugh, soccer… okay, is it Pele or that Ronnodonno guy?” Of course I’d be wrong and you’d laugh at my ignorance to the world’s most popular sport, and I’d probably cry because I’m super sensitive.

But at least I’m not alone in knowing who the most popular athlete on Twitter is or who he is, because People magazine seems shocked and concerned that it’s Brazil’s Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite, or Kaká as he is known to his 10,015,243 Twitter followers.

Brailian soccer star Kaka (a.k.a., Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite) is the world’s first athlete to reach 10 million followers on Twitter, making him only the sixteenth person to hit the high benchmark. He ranks right under Eminem (10.3 million followers) in the 10 Million Club, where Lady Gaga reigns supreme (with 23 million followers).

Actually, according to Twitaholic, he’s the 16th person and 17th entity to crack the 10 million mark, because YouTube ranks 10th on the followers list with 11.6 million. But just how popular is Kaká? He has more followers than Twitter.

Interestingly, Kaká’s closest competition is his Real Madrid teammate Cristiano Ronaldo, who has just under 900K followers. I would have guessed that Ronaldo would have more, what with his media fame and reputation as a globe-trotting poonhound, but Kaká, a self-described Christian family man, is the No. 1 guy.

On a side note… Kaká. Hehehehehehehehehehehe!

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This is basically what I look like when I’m watching ‘The Wire’. Somebody draw this guy a warm bath for Christ’s sake. (via Awful Announcing)

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Yes, that’s Real Madrid goalkeeper Iker Casillas picking his nose and wiping it on a child’s face. It’s the acting out of how Jose Canseco treated me when I tried to get his autograph when I was 7. (Via Sportress.)

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As far as soccer fights go, this is obviously far from the top of the heap. Heck, it’s pretty far from the bottom of the heap, too. But the situation is still pretty amusing. Bear with us here.

Brooks Peck of the Dirty Tackle alerts us to this Brazilian soccer match between Campeonato Gaucho and Caixas. (As an aside, how awesome is it that there is a Brazilian soccer team called “Champion Cowboy?” No idea what “Caixas” translates to, but I’m just going to assume it means “Astronaut Panda.”)

The context here is that one of the Champion Cowboys, Douglas Silva, got into quite a tiff with fellow Champeen Broncbuster Walter Guglielmone. In response, Guglielmone shoved Silva right in his face. The rest of the Gaucho tried to intervene, but Guglielmone decided one push in the face wouldn’t suffice, so he gave him one more face-shove for good measure. The referee decided enough was enough, so he calmly walked Guglielmone to the edge of the pitch like a big boy, showed him the red card and sent him off.

Look, I know things are done differently in soccer, but if a guy can’t give his teammate a couple of bad-natured piesfacing once in a while then what is even the point of sports any more? That “don’t smush your teammate’s face” crud would never fly here in the States. U-S-A! U-S-A!