One of my favorite things in sports is when athletes make jokes in their postgame or practice press conferences and reporters either don’t get them or they do get them but still turn them into mini controversies for the sake of slow news days. Case in point – when asked about Chad Henne’s 59 rushing yards against the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football, Brandon Marshall laughed and called him the “White Michael Vick.”

SOUND THE RACISM ALARMS! LET LOOSE THE HOUNDS OF DOUBLE STANDARDS!

Or don’t. Because this is completely stupid. Here’s what Marshall said:

Reporter: “What do you think of scrambling Chad, Brandon?” (laughs)

Brandon: (laughing) “I like it as long as he don’t get hit.”

Other Reporter: “You called him Michael Vick.”

Brandon: (smiling) “Yeah, the White Vick.”

(Everyone laughs)

And that’s the end of the story. At least it should be. Instead, it’s being reported as if Marshall honestly believes that Henne’s panic scrambles for his career-high rushing yardage really equates to Vick’s talent. Hell, Henne had 52 rushing yards all of last season, so it should be clear as day that Marshall was simply making a joke. But hey, that’s the joy of reporting without context. Let’s fire up the masses and stir up controversy around the guy with the mental problems.

That is, until Tim Tebow circumcises another child and we can run a story about how he diddles kids. Respect the power of the sports media.

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*Allegedly

Former Mississippi State player and servant to the Queen of England, John Bond, has made allegations that Auburn University quarterback and Heisman Trophy frontrunner Cam “Isaac” Newton expressed interest in transferring to MSU from junior college last year, but Newton was expecting $180,000 for his services, according to another former MSU football player. That may seem excessive, seeing as he only wanted a laptop while playing for the University of Florida, but hey, a guy’s gotta make some cheddar, right?

ESPN.com reported that the former player who was soliciting money on behalf of Newton was Kenny Rogers, who apparently also has some bad blood with the NCAA and the NFL Players Association. Rogers allegedly acts as an agent for college players like Newton, who was looking to transfer back to a D-I school after spending time at a junior college in the wake of his ejection from Florida. Through his Elite Football Preparation agency, Rogers reportedly tried to sell Newton as a collegiate free agent to various schools, with some willing to pay as much as $200,000. However, MSU could only shake $180,000 out of the couch cushions, and Cam was allegedly cool with that because he was close with MSU coach Dan Mullen from their brief time together at Florida. He’s the quarterback hooker with the heart of gold.

Do we expect you to die, Mr. Bond? No, we expect you to talk:

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