Cars make terrible obelisks, or so I thought before I saw this “pile-up” on I-93. Seriously, how the hell does a car stand up on its nose like that? The video after the jump only shows the aftermath of the incident. Not the…before-math. That’s not a word, but a car standing on its front license plate deserves its own nose.

It’s not a seal. So is this technically a “crash”? Or maybe even “performance art?” I only know two things. One: this really isn’t sports-related. Two: that car was almost certainly driven by a woman. Try driving with all four wheels on the ground, honey. You’ll like it, I promise.

via @JimmyTraina
Read the rest of this entry »

This video of a 1-year-old snowboarder has already made the rounds, but with Greg Wyshynski having his kid while he’s stuck covering hockey, it feels like a good time to post it and celebrate the beauty of youth. Actually, I’m kidding. These grubby little monsters are taking over the world. Watch her do a better job of snowboarding than you ever could after the jump. I can’t wait until this kid gets old enough to smoke weed. She’ll be the most fun 10-year-old ever. Read the rest of this entry »

American snowboarder Scotty Lago (left) left Vancouver after these images of him “celebrating” his bronze medal with this currently-unknown companion surfaced on Thursday. Hey, she isn’t terrible looking for a bronze-medal level groupie. Maybe if he had won the gold, he could have found someone with some bigger cans.

U.S. Olympic Committee CEO Scott Blackmun and chairman Larry Probst said Lago’s decision to go home came before the federation had a chance to react to the situation.

“He put the code of conduct on himself, decided the correct thing was to go home,” Blackmun said.

Added Probst: “He made that call, and it was the right decision.” –WaPo.

This is probably one of the more tame “extracirricular” activities that snowboarders enjoy. If he had been at the X-Games, Lago probably would have been in an orgy with Inuit triplets and a polar bear. Honestly, this isn’t that bad. But doing this in front of cameras is pretty ignorant, unless his aim was for people to find out who the hell Scotty Lago is. In which case, hey, nice job. –via Guanabee.

I don’t get how The Powers That Be got together and decided to promote American snowboarder Lindsey Jacobellis as appointment viewing for the Vancouver games. Her Visa commercial is cliche’d and bland. She looks like she’d rather try and sell me pot than compete while representing America, and that’s fine. But how does anyone get bent out of shape when people wonder why she kills it at the X-Games every year and then comes to the Olympics and lays an egg?

“I do so many competitions a year,” Jacobellis said, coming in for an interview more than an hour after the race. “It’s unfortunate the rest of the world only sees this race, or four years ago. So I guess I don’t have a great track record for the general public.”[..]

“Sometimes you can’t control the things that you want to, and you just have those in boardercross sometimes,” she said. “I’ve had a great career and I’ve been really dominant in it and sometimes I fall into funks where things like that happen.” –Y! Sports.

Yeah, sorry that, even though a lot of us don’t really care about the Olympics, even less of us care about the X-Games. At least Bode Miller won a bronze in these Games, but his hair isn’t nearly as pretty as yours. Do you mind if I take a whiff? Smelling hair isn’t creepy if you just let me do it.

Olympic snowboarder and Ohio native Gretchen Blieler was on the Tonight Show the night before Thanksgiving, which makes a lot of sense because attractive women don’t have families to visit, since they’re not real people anyway. I’m sure she had lots of stuff to talk about, because there’s no better conversationalist than a female athlete that does modeling for side work. I’m sure she has lots to say about the current Congressional plan for health care reform. Not that I’d ever listen to somebody that wore shoes like that. Thanks to Jon at Sports Babe Examiner, who posted the video early this morning. Apparently he has no family, either.

The Slanch Report‘s reputation for covering the latest in Jewish sporting news is on the uptick after this report of Jews! In! Snow! Eric Sweet and nine of his closest chaverim ascended a snowy peak, for reasons still not really explained:

“We are 10 Jews celebrating not necessarily inside a synagogue but celebrating God and celebrating the beauty of this area as Jews together on the minion board,” said Rabbi Zalman Mendelsohn, who was worshipping in the snow.

Eventually, after several spills, they put it all together, and as a group are able to carve their way down the mountain. This is more inspirational than Masada and Channukah put together! Also, I love that the 2 girls, 1 cup, phenomena has spread to the extent that newscasters can refer to it, even obliquely, during their broadcasts, now that’s progress!

There’s video after the jump. I know, I can’t wait, either. Read the rest of this entry »