The Slanch Report’s reputation for covering the latest in Jewish sporting news is on the uptick after this report of Jews! In! Snow! Eric Sweet and nine of his closest chaverim ascended a snowy peak, for reasons still not really explained:
“We are 10 Jews celebrating not necessarily inside a synagogue but celebrating God and celebrating the beauty of this area as Jews together on the minion board,” said Rabbi Zalman Mendelsohn, who was worshipping in the snow.
Eventually, after several spills, they put it all together, and as a group are able to carve their way down the mountain. This is more inspirational than Masada and Channukah put together! Also, I love that the 2 girls, 1 cup, phenomena has spread to the extent that newscasters can refer to it, even obliquely, during their broadcasts, now that’s progress!
There’s video after the jump. I know, I can’t wait, either. Read the rest of this entry »
Travis Rice had by far and away the best practice run at the Winter X Games. In general, I’d like to see more foreign objects interfering with skiers and snowboarders doing jumps at terrain parks. Telephone poles, hidden punjee pits, American Gladiators with the tennis ball cannon from the Assault event, Rover from “The Prisoner,” swarms of bees, thrown babies — hey, don’t blame me. They’re the ones who wanted to get more EXXTREME.
Have you ever imagined what it would be like if you put a sack of potatoes on a snowboard and sent it off a big jump? Well, you can get a pretty good idea from this video. All you have to do is use a person instead of a sack of potatoes, then have him knock himself out on a wedge of ice as he goes off the jump. Good times.
On THAT uplifting note, I’m headed off to Utah tomorrow to go snowboarding for the first time in five years. I’ll be staying away from the terrain park, methinks. Oh, and I’m leaving on a plane from New York. I’ll see if I can maybe walk under some ladders while black cats cross my path at the airport.
Regular fill-in Punté will be running the show tomorrow. I’ll be back on Monday. I hope.
Burton’s new “Love” series of snowboards — a collaboration with Playboy that features pin-ups from the 1970s on the boards — has liberals, feminists, Girl Scouts, and assorted Vermont douchebags all pissed off.
[T]he company has found itself at the center of a growing controversy in the liberal state, with residents, students, and politicians debating free speech and sexism on the ski slopes. The Burlington City Council discussed asking Burton to withdraw the boards, and the Girl Scout Council of Vermont is considering taking concerns to lawmakers next month.
Oh no, they’ve mobilized the Girl Scouts!!! In all seriousness, if I stretch to the very limits of my sympathy, I can kind of see how parents might not want their young children exposed to the images on the boards. But then I read this:
“When you really think about it, it’s a young man standing on top of a naked woman’s body,” said [Nicole] Zarrillo, 38, an office manager for a nonprofit based in Burlington, also home to Burton’s headquarters. “I probably could have gotten past it, because I try to have an open mind, but seeing it like that, it’s offensive.”
“Well, I tried to accept something I didn’t like, but then my oversensitive inner bitch came out. Turns out that everything I see is a metaphor for man’s oppression of women. HEY! I saw the way you looked at me, buster! Don’t even THINK about telling me I look nice today!”
In retrospect, perhaps filming the TV segment at the bottom of the terrain park wasn’t wisest decision.
As you watch this clip, think about which of the three people on camera you most want to see taken out by a snowboarder, then cheer for that person the rest of the clip. Think of it like one of those stadium scoreboard races at baseball games. And don’t worry, even if your horse loses, the slo-mo at the end will still make it worthwhile.
[Don Chavez]
Olympic champion snowboarder/ProActiv case study Shaun White began his ugly descent into a life of crime when he was cited last week for second-degree criminal tampering in Breckenridge, Colorado. Sigh. That's how it always begins. First you tamper with fire extinguishers at ski resorts, then you knock over some mailboxes in a wealthy subdivision, then you move on to bawdy bathroom graffiti in college bars before a bloody shootout with the FBI.
A Breckenridge police report said a security camera recorded someone setting off the fire extinguisher, and White's clothes and shoes appeared to match what the person on the video was wearing. The report also said White's shoes matched footprints left in the powder from the fire extinguisher and that a witness said he saw "a white male with long red hair pulling the pin from the fire extinguisher."
Uhhh… that could have been anyone! Why, Carrot Top played a show in Denver last week!
A police report said his breath smelled of alcohol when investigators spoke with him. In the report, police said the video showed the prankster holding a pool cue and "playfully" chasing a young woman around video game machines in the room.
Oh, so he can "playfully" chase young women around with pool cues, but I can't "playfully" strangle strippers that I "playfully" drugged? Just another example of the preferential treatment given to famous athletes.
