Stuntman Gary Connery fell 2400 feet onto 18,600 cardboard boxes to break the world’s record for Skydiving Without A Parachute. In a related story, I can’t get down a flight of steps without tripping and nearly killing myself. (via Beantown Banter)

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Like this, but with just a little more sexual tension.

Skydiving instructor Alex Torres has found himself out of a job and under investigation by the Federal Aviation Administration after a recent stunt that he pulled off with the help of Skydive Taft administrative assistant, Hope Howell. Last weekend, the duo woke up early and took off in a company plane for a little tandem dive… *plays Barry White song* … and they had sex all over the sweet morning sky.

Torres, who I should also mention is an adult film star known as “Voodoo,” and Howell began having sex in the plane before jumping out and continued bumping uglies a few thousand feet over the city of Taft, California, all to get the attention of Howard Stern. And while no police charges are being filed because “no one complained,” the sex act apparently upset one teenage boy, and now the FAA is investigating Torres and Howell because:

“Anyone who allows an activity to occur that could affect his or her ability to concentrate on flying the aircraft or could result in the pilot being physically jostled or lose control of the aircraft could constitute a violation of federal aviation regulations.” – Ian Gregor, FAA Spokesman

Oh come on, Bobby Buzzkill. This is just the man trying to keep us down and flaccid. All that’s happening here is a case of a kid who didn’t like the mean man choking the woman’s bottom mouth so he told on them. And last time I checked, you can’t really punish two people for doing something that there’s not really any proof they did. It’s not like there is video of the whole thing going down.

Haha, just kidding, there’s totally video.

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Okay, so he had a parachute, but according to the video, he didn’t pull the ripcord in time for the chute to fully open. He smashed into the snowy Russian mountainside, breaking his back, chipping some teeth, brusing a lung, and like, totally messing up his hair, bro. Total Pro Sports has more. They’re good like that.

More jumpity goodness after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a video of a guy that tries to solve a Rubik’s Cube while in freefall, and let me go ahead and ruin the ending for you–he’s a tool. I guess he’s cheated death by jumping out an airplane so many times that I guess he’s just bored with it. Maybe it’s time for a new thrill-seeking hobby. Like jumping out of a plane BY YOURSELF, possibly? Or maybe doing something really dangerous, like model trains. Douchebag.

Regular skydiving? That's for pussies. It's not nearly dangerous enough.

I'm not really sure why people insist on skydiving. If you like the adrenaline rush of coming close to death, why go to all that trouble of buying that equipment and getting in a plane? Just do what I do and sleep with the daughter of a sheriff in a small southern town. Because dads down there always come into their daughters' rooms without knocking. And then I have to get out of bed and jump out the window while he's getting his shotgun, and I'm trying to run away while putting on my pants, and he fires at me and misses because I fell down while hopping into my second pants leg. And then Lizabelle laughs and shakes her pretty blonde head because my crazy hijinks are so endearing.

THAT, my friends, is eXtreme. (See what I did there? I capitalized the "x" to make it edgy. Like me.)

[Video originally seen on Public Nip Slips. And yes, it's just as good at sounds, though there are far too few actual nip slips.]

Following up on the charming story of Michael Holmes, the British skydiver who survived a freefall from two miles with neither of his chutes correctly deploying, we finally have embeddable video.

Thanks to all the readers who sent different links to the clip. Anybody who can splice in little pieces of Tom Petty's "Freefallin'" gets a gold star.

Your Bill Brasky jokes are welcome in the comments.

UPDATE: Looks like the copyright Nazis are pissing on the parade again. Watch the entire video here.