Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with Kate Upton.

It is not an easy task to put together a list, such as the Greatest Sports Moments of 2012, specifically because so many things happen in any given year that it’s all but impossible to universally gauge which one event or person is greater than another. But since we’re just a couple dudes who like to make fun of stuff and almost always ignore actual sports news, it’s really quite easy.

With that said, here’s a quick breakdown of how our team of fact checkers and sports analyst number crunchers determine which people, places and things were the most important and influential in 2012…

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Last month, the incomparable Will Leitch wrote probably the most poignant piece to date on how American sports fans and TV audience can best combat ESPN’s resident troll, Skip Bayless. Essentially, the point was “Just don’t watch, don’t feed the troll” and he was right to an extent. The problem is that the average sports fan – the kind that takes sports way too seriously and can’t handle someone criticizing his team – is the little fish taking the bait every time. That’s why First Take has solid ratings, and that’s why ESPN has shamefully embraced the debate format over actual news.

The other problem is that even the big fish can’t ignore Bayless’ shiny lure, as we’ve already seen Chad Johnson “debate” Bayless and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban “own” him. It’s just too bad that even when Bayless is being “owned”, he wins because people tuned in. Ultimately, we can only stop Bayless by completely ignoring him, and that’s not going to happen anytime soon, thanks to Kevin Durant being his latest mark.

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There were a lot of heroes at last night’s NBA Draft in New Jersey, from the Boston Bros (BROSTON!) to the Knicks Bros to the ninja-like Heat Bros to this hilarious Brooklyn Nets kid and the awesome finger-wagging Knicks kid. We also got everything we expected, with New York Knicks fans booing everything, including their own draft pick, and David Stern going full WWE heel as the crowd booed him and the Heat mercilessly.

But if I had to pick a favorite thing about the draft, it’s probably the Knicks dude above, wearing an airbrushed tall T with a picture of Skip Bayless on it. He’s either the ultimate Bayless hater or the biggest ESPN fan on the planet. Either way, he proves that people who watch ESPN because they love sports or hate the network’s personalities are legitimately insane. I mean, who the hell makes an airbrushed Skip Bayless shirt?

*goes back to puffy-painting “I Love Samantha Steele” t-shirt*

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During last night’s Game 4 of the NBA Finals I noticed a Tweet from someone about Skip Bayless making fun of Chris Bosh, and without thinking I clicked over to Bayless’ Twitter profile. “Damn it, moron,” was all I could say to myself, because, once again, there is the definition of the attraction to ESPN’s inexplicably popular shouting blowhard “analyst”. The philosophy is simple: Say something outrageous, people will react.

Then I saw a Tweet even more outrageous and obnoxious than I could have ever expected…

Bayless was told this because he doesn’t follow anyone on Twitter. Not his best friend Stephen A. Smith, not his colleagues at ESPN, and not even Tim Tebow or LeBron James. Twitter is a one-man realm of theories and hyperbole, friends. You’re just lucky to be following Bayless.

That Tweet, though, came after an unprovoked jab by Cuban that his two-year old son is a better analyst than Bayless, which is laughable because Bayless was a huge basketball star in his day. Right?

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On the surface, Skip Bayless seems to have a very easy job – take a stance on a topic and shout louder than the person who is arguing the opposing view. But there’s more to his madness than simply, “I’m right, you’re wrong, Tebow rules.” Bayless has shown time and again that he’s willing to tell everyone that he works his ass off to research and scout each day’s First Take topics, so that when he shouts louder than Stephen A. Smith to prove that he’s right – even though a person is always right if they manipulate enough facts and context to warp logic – he can raise his head high and not hate the person that he actually is.

But I’m not here to shred the man’s integrity or talk about how ESPN’s new debate-first ideology has destroyed the foundation of television sports journalism for the sake of ratings that would exist even if they replaced First Take with Dogs Eating Poop. Nah, ladies. I’m here to point out that even if you don’t like Bayless’ “I’m right, you suck” style of “journalism”, you can’t argue that he was and still is a stone cole poon hound.

Just check out this proof positive of yesteryear from his Facebook page…

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By all accounts, the Denver Broncos’ victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday was a lot of things for NFL fans – entertaining, agonizing, frustrating and exciting to name a few – but for sports writers across the country, it was a second Christmas. Tebow earned his first NFL playoff victory by decimating an injury-riddled Steelers defense, posting the second best passer rating of his young career (125.6) and setting a NFL playoff record by averaging 31.6 yards per completion. And it’s that number, 31.6, or rather the 316 yards that he passed for, that has allowed the media’s loudest voices to shout down their biblical comparisons from the Internet heavens.

316, of course, reminds us of John 3:16, the Bible passage that reads: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” But instead of talking about how Demaryius Thomas humiliated Ike Taylor on the 80-yard touchdown that both opened and closed overtime, or how underrated and increasingly dangerous the Broncos defense is, we’re talking about Tebow’s religion. Again.

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