This week’s Sports On TV covers another show people have been requesting since the column’s inception: ‘Boy Meets World,’ the long-running TGIF staple that asked, “if Fred Savage can have a successful television show, shouldn’t his little brother have one as well?”

‘Boy Meets World’ ran for seven seasons from 1993 to 2000 on ABC, and now’s a better time than ever to look back on the show’s 158 episodes. Why? Take it away, Wikipedia!

After a brief hiatus, the Sports On TV column returns with one of the most requested shows ever: Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s 16-season strong cultural landmark, ‘South Park’.

‘South Park’ has been around since 1997, and has changed along with the times. When it started, Parker and Stone were getting $1,200 to make video Christmas cards for Fox executives. In 2012, they are influential, Tony Award-winning, multi-millionaire media moguls. One thing hasn’t changed: in season one, Kenny was getting ripped apart by football players. In season 16, Tom Brady is guzzling a Gatorade bottle of a child’s semen. Sports are one of the weirdest, stupidest, most ritualistic and overly-glorififed things human beings can do, and ‘South Park’ has been in tune with that since the very beginning.

So, in the Interest of easing us back into regular Thursday columns, here are my choices for the 20 greatest South Park sports moments. Like a lot of the shows we do, there are a ton of moments we had to leave out, so a part 2 will probably happen. If we left out your favorite moment, or you have something to say about a moment we chose, be sure to drop down into our comments section and let us know.

As an added bonus, participating in the discussion and sharing the column on Twitter or Facebook (courtesy of one of those handy buttons at the bottom of the post) will net you the BAT DAD BADGE. You don’t want the Bat Dad Badge? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

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"What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It's a Major Award. I won it!"

When Josh Sundquist was 9-years old, he was diagnosed with bone cancer and the doctors gave him a 50/50 chance to live, according to his website’s bio. Ultimately, he had his left leg amputated after a year of chemotherapy, and I don’t know about you folks, but I don’t know how an adult could deal with that, let alone a 10-year old kid. But when doctors informed Josh at age 13 that he was cancer-free, he decided that he wanted to be a skier. Not only that, he wanted to compete in ski racing, which just makes me feel like an ass for skipping the gym for the past two three four five every month.

And not only was he eventually named to the US Paralympic Ski Team, and not only did he compete at the 2006 Paralympics in Turino, Italy (he didn’t win any medals, but neither did you), and not only is he the only athlete in history to be named to the Paralympic Ski Team and the US Amputee Soccer Team, but he also has a hell of a sense of humor about everything. That’s why he’s a bestselling author, a national spokesman for the Combined Federal Campaign, and the winner of this year’s athlete Halloween costume contest.

Josh dressed up as the lamp from A Christmas Story, and yes, it’s as fantastic as it sounds.

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I’m a huge sucker for anything Americana, which is why I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong era, but then I wouldn’t want to live in any decade that didn’t have the Internet or white rappers. That sh*t would be crazy boring, yo. But with the shameful soul of a hipster, I love to look at the past and admire how easy those schmucks had it, you know, aside from the wars and polio and stuff like that. At least people in the 50s only had newspapers, radio and one TV channel to scare the crap out of them. I shiver thinking about FOX News and MSNBC terrorizing us through the Cold War.

So what’s my point, you ask, well it’s that this morning I fell into one of my typical Internet wormholes thanks to the above image of an ad that Budweiser ran to celebrate Miguel Cabrera becoming the first Major League Baseball player to win the Triple Crown since 1967. Being an old soul, I still think that winning the Triple Crown is an amazing achievement, so I like to ignore the new breed of VORPers and WAR mongers when they say that Miggy shouldn’t win the MVP. But that’s another argument for another day.

I started perusing the webs for other vintage beer ads and I came to several conclusions: 1) Beer companies in the 40s and 50s wanted people to die, because they loved suggesting that people drink while doing things like skiing and riding horses; 2) Being an ad exec back then must have been 10-times cooler than Mad Men suggests; 3) White people, am I right?; and 4) I’m thirsty now.

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When I was in high school, I tried to saw a surfboard in half and turn the pieces into bookshelves to impress a girl. What I didn’t know was that A) sawing a surfboard in half is freaking ridiculously hard without the right saw and 2) I was a moron and girls hated me. So I was left with two worthless, jagged halves of a surfboard and a newfound burden of poor taste for kitschy decorating that has stuck with me today. What’s that? Hell yeah that original Peaches Records crate would look awesome in my living room!

The other day I was doing my random web surfery when I came across a post on Environmental Graffiti that brought me back to that awkward day in my garage with that rusty saw blade and 47% chance of ripping my ring finger to pieces. It seems there are actually other people out there who know what they’re doing when it comes to salvaging surfboards, skis, snowboards, bikes and even bowling balls and making something useful and creative out of them.

God help me if these images of genuine creativity reignite my desire to turn crap into treasure, resulting in a trip to the emergency room. After all, a man can’t write d*ck jokes with 9 fingers.

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This is how I’ve felt for the last month. April’s just gonna be a bunch of puppies sleeping videos. (via MPViral)

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Links

Which Action Star Has Inspired the Worst Video Games? Another (Sort of) Scientific Study - I was hoping ‘Rambo’ for the NES would get some love. That game isn’t any fun, but I always want to be playing it for some reason. [Gamma Squad]

10 Things We Learned At SXSW 2012 - #11. Get robot legs, because you aren’t 20 anymore. [Smoking Section]

Discussion Post and Poll: What Is Your Favorite Network Sitcom Besides ‘Community’? - I like ‘The Big Bang Theory’. I also like cupping my hands, farting into them and trying to scoop it into my mouth before the flavor dissipates. [Warming Glow]

All Of Our Favorite Parts Of Aziz Ansari’s Reddit AMA - Not reading this is a huge Oh No No. [UPROXX]

Belvedere Vodka Hoping To Sell Vodka With Rape Jokes, Apparently - They really missed the boat by not getting Bob Uecker to be their spokesperson. He’s got experience selling alcohol, knows Belvedere personally and wouldn’t rape people. [UPROXX]

This Week in Posters and Stills - The Dark Shadows posters are amazing and should just be bright white circles with actor names over them. [Film Drunk]

Scumbag Pets - My cat won’t stop dunking his entire arm into any glass of water I pour, does that count? [Buzzfeed]

11 Amazing Translation FAILS - This should just be 11 attempts by Armond White to review Lost In Translation. [HuffPost Comedy]

Watch Wes Anderson’s Sony Commercial Featuring Adorable Robots - Okay! [The FW]

You Can Do Side Bends Or Sit-Ups But Please Don’t Lose That Butt. “Mad Men” Is Back - ‘Mad Men’ is the best show since Seinfeld to be about nothing and have nothing ever happen. I’m happy to have it back, I just wish it was an hour of Pete Campbell. [Pajiba]

Ten Video Games Viewed From a Different Perspective - Number 11 is about the time I tried to play Skyrim while lying upside down on the couch. I might as well be trying to solve astrophysics quandaries. [Unreality]

Batman Was Pulled Over In a Lamborghini Gallardo In Montgomery County, Maryland - Great, now the Penguin is going to destroy Camden Yards and nobody will be there to stop him. [Brobible]