There’s not a lot of things that are more satisfying than watching some hipster, skateboarder asshat take a shot right to the balls while trying to nail a rail. While the world’s largest skateboard crashing certainly isn’t as satisfying as that, it’s still pretty badass.

Not even Shaquille O’Neal, if he knew the slightest thing about skateboarding, could handle the world’s largest skateboard by himself.

The over-sized but otherwise realistic contraption is 36 feet 7 inches long, nearly nine feet wide and weighs 3,800 pounds.

It requires a group of people to successfully ride and even then it’s usually a short and precarious journey that results in a highly comical wipeout.

So it was predictable that when California Skateparks owner and board co-designer Joe Ciaglia recently tried to give the WLS a solo-whirl down a grassy knoll, he was forced to bail from and nearly trampled by an out-of-control unit that flipped in a wild crash farther down the hill. –Grind TV

There’s video after the jump, and the bail looks surprisingly dangerous. Potential for broken vertebrae aside, charging a hill on that thing looks awesome. You could throw a pretty awesome party on that skateboard if you had a big enough hill. So many hot babes would want to party with you if you were rolling down a hill at 40 mph. “Who wants to do a keg stand? Ladies?” Read the rest of this entry »

I stopped skateboarding when I was 14 and I realized that I’d never be any good at it. Plus all the work of constantly pushing with your foot seemed too much like running to me. This unnamed youngster will quit for two reasons. One, because his skateboard is about to be snapped in half, and two, because…well, you’ll just have to see it. And if you’re watching this at work, this would be a good time to put on some headphones. We have ourselves a screamer. Thanks, UU. Read the rest of this entry »

This could have been a four-star faceplant clip if the guy that posted this realized that this was a skateboarding video and not a Japanese game show. STOP TRYING TO CLOSE-CAPTION YOUR WHOLE DAMN VIDEO. That said, this is a brutal fall, and therefore an excellent one. Good buildup, good protagonist, and the cinematography is well above average. I hope that guy’s okay; I feel like this camera operator can only get better with experience. Read the rest of this entry »

Most retail establishments only accept deliveries between 10 and 2, so these guys made sure to get their tricks in while the gittin’ was good. And this faceplant isn’t exactly spectacular as much as it just sort of sneaks up on everyone. It’s as if he tried to bail on his move too late. You can’t ride that bull halfway, son. You either buck up or buck out. I suppose you could buck sideways, but I’d need the manual to explain how that works.

This, as best as I can tell, is the opening credits to Fully Flared, a 2007 skating video where…apparently everything blows up after they jump off it. Oh, and it’s all in slow-motion, too. It’s like those NFL commercials, except more rad. Or tubular. Or…[checks skater thesaurus] aw, hell, you get the idea.

The downside is that, as best as I can tell, none of the skateboarders actually die in the explosions. These hipster athletes are like roaches. Roaches that don’t wear goggles or helmets. And like to roll around everyplace. It’s more “TNT Games” than “X Games.” –Thanks, Matt.

Ouch. That did not look like it felt too good. No doubt the poor, portly fellow felt pretty embarrassed laying there on the concrete looking like a beached Beluga. This is why fat people shouldn’t leave their homes except to go to Old Country Buffet. I wouldn’t be surprised if the next time this guy willingly gets on something with four wheels is when Maury Povich sends a camera crew and they have to rip off a side of his house and hoist him out of his bed with a Bobcat.

And the splits? Yikes. I wasn’t even aware of the fact that fat people could bend that way. How fitting it would have been if a James Brown song had been added for background music.

“Say it loud, I’m fat and on the ground. HEYYYYY!!”

Or alternatively,

“Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Stay on the scene, like an eating machine”

I suppose that would make him the Godfather Of Roll.