If there’s one thing I’d like to see at UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping, it’s former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Vitor Belfort doing his best El Mariachi impression before (I’m assuming) pulling a rear naked choke out of his guitar case and murdering everybody. I … guess I expect weird things from my MMA events.

Anyway, here’s a Brazilian commercial for the event that executes the first half of my idea. It may be the most laid back UFC-related commercial ever, but until they release an extended edition where he breaks song to go down on a cheeseburger, it’ll be my second favorite.

Besides, Vitor looks and sounds way too much like Jake Fratelli for my taste:

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Glen Davis’ new song by Glen Davis.

It takes a special kind of man to record his own ego anthem. Pro wrestler Shawn Michaels did it with ‘Sexy Boy,’ and now Orlando Magic forward Glen “Big Baby” Davis has done it with his Glen Davis-themed club-banger ‘Big Baby Gon’ Turn It Up’.

In the song, Big Baby assures us that Big Baby is gon’ turn it up. Josh Robbins of The Orlando Sentinel has details, including the question I’m sure is going through your head as you listen to Big Baby Gon’ Turn It Up: “are you ever going to make another song, n/n?”

Davis recently recorded a song called “Big Baby Gon’ Turn It Up,” and it’s kind of catchy. It features his voice, with some significant enhancements provided by Auto-Tune.

Davis was asked whether he’s going to release an album. A smile crossed his face.

“No,” he said, still grinning. “I’m a one-hit wonder.”

So, here we are. Furthermore,

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This is a video of Charles Barkley in a bar doing a karaoke version of “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men. Let all the parts of that sentence really sink in for a minute. 1) Charles Barkley. 2) In a bar. 3) Doing karaoke. 4) Singing “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men. 5) On video. YES. And as if all that weren’t enough, I have some more exciting news for you: Charles Barkley is a terrible singer. TERRIBLE. Like, he’s so bad that he blows right past “Ugh, get this guy off the stage” and lands firmly in “Jesus Christ, this is almost like performance art, let’s try to get him to sing ‘The Greatest Love of All’ or something just to see what happens.” As one of the Internet’s foremost experts on “End of the Road,” I can confidently say that the first 60 seconds of this video represent the single worst rendition of the song I’ve ever heard.

But then.

BUT THEN.

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What’s worse than a quarterback who inspires a meme world record, is afraid to take pictures with women, can barely throw a football and responds to criticism about his NFL sadness with, “you are a great analyst, thanks for mentioning me”?

Well, not a lot, but at least he never sang his own piano arrangement of a Train song in public.

Wisconsin quarterback Joel Stave demonstrates his musical talents performing Drops of Jupiter by Train at the 2012 Buckingham Awards. The UW signal-caller was one of many student-athletes putting on an impressive show at the annual awards night.

And it’s not even my favorite sports-related Train cover! That award goes to (and will always go to) these monsters.

I’m guessing that as a 6-foot-5 quarterback with flowing locks and a college scholarship, Joel’s spent a lot of time living in The Bubble with nobody to say “you’re singing the song too fast, slow down” or “stop playing piano, you look like f**king Bo Duke”. Allow me to say those things here, but not loudly enough to dissuade him from continuing, because LOL, this guy.

[h/t to Dr. Saturday]

By way of Red Hot Mama comes this clip from MLB Fan Cave comes today’s best nostalgic look back at the 1990s — Cincinnati Reds pitcher and part-time musician Bronson Arroyo covering Adam Sandler’s seminal mid-90s classic ‘Red Hooded Sweatshirt’. The original had a brief mention of one-on-one basketball (Sandler beat his sweatshirt 11-9), but this one goes full baseball, even bringing in Aroldis Chapman to play Kevin Nealon.

You shouldn’t post videos like this, Bronson, they’re all gonna laugh at you!

Here’s the very special Valentine’s Day original from Sandler:

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It is pretty easy to hate

1. The New York Knicks
2. Justin Bieber
3. Hipster children
4. Precocious novelty kid interviews that aren’t Wonder Showzen’s Beat Kids

… but somehow when you put them all together, you get this adorable video of ‘Knicks Kid Reporters’ Ryan and Jaylah asking the team the most unnecessary questions of all time (like “how do you spell super-fradja-cadja-listic”) and eventually singing Justin Bieber’s “Baby”. There’s something really reassuring about getting to see Sports Guys act like regular people in a way other than “hey MTV, step in here and look at my bed, it has tank treads”, and Wayfarers and mohawks aside, it’s reassuring to see kids being kids on the Internet without hurting themselves, crying about something stupid or lip-syncing Nicki Minaj songs.

I just realized I’m wearing pajama pants and a Tennessee Smokies t-shirt. That six-year old is crushing me. Ah well, at least there isn’t a video on every sports blog of me singing “Baby”.

[h/t Sportress of Blogitude by way of The Basketball Jones]