Pittsburgh’s 96.1 KISS FM Morning Freak Show, hosted by Mikey and Big Bob, responded to a Twitter rumor yesterday that Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby is dating country-turned-pop star Taylor Swift. Normally, I’d be like, “Stupid morning radio bros startin’ poop with awful photoshops” but not this time, because this rumor totally seems like it could be true.

For example, Swift is playing at the Amway Center tonight in my beloved Bethlehem of the meth belt, Orlando, and I wouldn’t even flinch if someone walked up to me in a strip club and said, “Hey I heard Sidney Crosby’s in town because Taylor Swift is playing a show tonight” because she has a different boyfriend every week. In fact, I’m shocked that she hasn’t dated Crosby yet. Hell, any pro athlete for that matter.

So because it’s eventually going to happen, and Swift will break up with whichever athlete she gets her talons on (please be Tebow, please be Tebow…) and then she’ll write an entire album about him, I took the liberty of writing her first hit single off that album.

Read the rest of this entry »

The NHL needs a “previously on” recap before games, I guess.

Hockey’s been gone so long, even the networks airing hockey games don’t remember what happened the last time the NHL was in season. They know the Kings won the Stanley Cup. Their logo has a basketball on it for some reason, right? They know Wayne Gretzky’s daughter has an Instagram account and a fantastic body, and Wayne Gretzky was a hockey guy, probably. The rest? They’ll just make that up as they go.

As an example of what I’m talking about, here’s an ad for NHL on NBC, wherein they hype saturday’s Pittsburgh/Philadelphia game by saying Claude Giroux and the Flyers “have their sights set on revenge for last season’s playoff loss to Pitt.” Uh, you know, that series the Flyers won in six games and pretty much dominated. Was NBC not around for ‘Knock Knock?’ Oh well, at least they know who Claude Giroux is, and didn’t just call him Eric Lindros.

If we’re gonna fan-fic last year’s playoffs, can we write in a thing where Alex Ovechkin tried really hard, and the Caps didn’t make me feel terrible again?

[h/t to Puck Daddy]

From the same tired, desperate-to-be-coding-Mortal-Kombat game developers who brought you “slide tackle glitch that makes soccer players into Liu Kang” comes the HERCULES GLITCH, a special assault that turns NHL 13′s standard body check into a monstrous attack that sends dudes flying into the stands. In this clip, we see Sidney Crosby get backdropped over the glass by Zdeno Chára. Well, it’s either Zdeno Chára, or the Bruins drafted Solomon Grundy.

Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy provides key suggestions for working through this glitch:

Suggestion for NHL 14: Smoke trails and a small explosion when they land in the stands. Oh, and if the game is in Philly or Boston, the player gets bludgeoned by the fans. This might also be a good place to have Mike Milbury as a secret character, with atomic shoe attack once you unlock him.

My suggestion: Make Zdeno the only person in the game who can execute the glitch, give him two extra arms and have him skate around in a loin cloth. Extra points if he can do a leaping stomp.

[h/t Sportress Of Blogitude]

The NHL Lockout funeral procession continues. Somebody should set a bunch of hockey clips to Creed’s ‘My Sacrifice’ and be done with it already. (via Goon’s World)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Here Are 15 Hilariously Alarmist Newsweek Covers |UPROXX|

The Proof That Kristen Stewart Didn’t Cheat: This Week In YouTube Commenter Outrage |Film Drunk|

Learning To Cope Two Weeks After The Midseason Finale Of ‘Breaking Bad’ |Warming Glow|

Maria Sharapova’s Shirt Is Awesome |With Leather|

Cool Dad Adds Superhero Comics To Daughter’s Lunchbox To Encourage Her To Eat |Gamma Squad|

Wyclef Throws Lauryn Hill Under The Bus |Smoking Section|

Raiders Fans Have Bathroom Fights, HD Camera Phones |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Read the rest of this entry »

Bob McCown of the Fan590 in Toronto made waves on Friday when he reported he had heard Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby’s family was trying to convince him to retire for fear of risking more injury.  As the adorable Crosby (pictured above) is not old enough to speak for himself, his Dad called ESPN to let them know this wasn’t true.

“Not at all,” Troy Crosby, from his Halifax, Nova Scotia, home, told ESPN. “We’re just trying to get him healthy again. However long that takes, that’s how long it’s going to take.”  Crosby then told his son Sidney to get down off the couch, following the command with “I’m not telling you again!”  He then began counting, causing the Penguins great to sit down and be quiet for fear of what would come after two.

Crosby’s agent Pat Brisson also refuted the report, adding “na na na boo boo” and urging the veteran radio host to “stick [his] head in doo-doo.”

The young star, who was driven to practice today in his Dad’s mini-van, was severely concussed back in January when professional hockey players dared touch him.  According to recent updates from the Penguins blogs I frequent, Crosby is actually totally fine, nothing happened to him in January, and he’s just been chilling at home drinking juice boxes and eating Lunchables from the last three months.

Pittsburgh Penguins point producer Sidney Crosby had scored in 25 straight games heading into last night’s tilt with the New York Islanders. In hockey, an individual “point” can be either a goal or an assist, and the Croz had registered one of those in every game his team had played since November 5th. But last night, despite 26 minutes of ice time, overtime, and a shootout, Crosby’s streak came to a halt.

“That wasn’t me. It was a complete team effort,” [Islanders goalie Rick] DiPietro said. “The defensive corps played with a lot of focus and a lot of heart. When we’re playing smart in our defensive zone, we’re a good hockey team.”

“It would’ve been nice to keep things going, but it was one of those games,” Crosby said.

–Y! Sports.

Oh, by the way, the Penguins won lost that game, 2-1. I’ve made it plainly known that Sidney Crosby is not my favorite player in the game right now, but 25 straight games with at least one point is impressive. But on the other hand, losing it to the Islanders is almost equally unimpressive. We’re nearly back to zero, but I give credit where it’s do, even if Dr. Seuss claims credit for the headline of this post. Screw Dr. Seuss. I bet his mustache sucks.