If you’re like most Americans, you either don’t have the Big Ten Network or you don’t waste your time watching it (“Minnesota versus Penn State volleyball?  Janice, clear my schedule!”).  So, as Every Day Should Be Saturday notes, it makes complete sense for the BTN to aggressively remove all web content that increases the visibility of their diminishing conference, such as this 35-yard touchdown run by Iowa’s Shonn Green, one of the best college running backs to get very little national recognition.

Man, I’m already excited to select him in next year’s fantasy football draft.  Hey, who else wants to talk to me about fantasy football?  Anyone?  Hello?  … Right.  I’ll just check some more stats online by myself then.

An anonymous wealthy collector of curiosities and soiled shirts that some dude wore spent $35,000 to get the Gatorade-soaked shirt Doc Rivers had on during Game 6 of the NBA Finals. Would've fetched more if had been covered in the Gatorade sweat for the Kevin Garnett commercial. Anything secreted by an athlete is worth dying for. Just ask whores.

The Gatorade-stained shirt worn by Celtics coach Doc Rivers during Boston's title-clinching Game 6 victory over the Los Angeles Lakers last week netted $55,000 for The Shamrock Foundation through an auction on sports radio WEEI (850 AM).

An anonymous bidder pledged $35,000 for the shirt and accompanying Gatorade bucket utilized by Celtics captain Paul Pierce (above) during the sneak attack. The Gatorade company donated an addition $10,000, while a second anonymous donor gifted a $10,000 pledge.

The shirt, autographed by both Rivers and Pierce, had a $10,000 bid this morning until former Patriots head coach Bill Parcells, now the vice president of football operations for the Miami Dolphins and a Gatorade endorser, called with a bid of $20,000 on behalf of the sports drink company.

Gatorade bid on its own item to spur interest? That's a great idea. Maybe if I keep touching myself women will get the idea of how fun it is. Look, girl, see how easy it is! Aww man, sirens AGAIN? Back to the drawing board. The drawing board for 10 months (six with good behavior!).

Red Sox Nation welcomed another into its fold when earlier this month Ryan Rogers was baptized in a font of blood from Schilling's sock at Fenway Park. How generous of the team to allow some private suite above the field to play host to that. A well-worn Sawx hat then materialized on the kid's head, he developed a speech that dropped all R's and he gained a predilection towards oversensitivity and casual racism. Eight vaginae also formed on various locations on his body, mostly on his face. 

He then pledged his life to the ever-shriller defense of the Red Sox, yelling "Youk!" at passersby, and following the Celtics and the Patriots, so long as they're winning. 

I want to make a little site news/programming note here: I get a lot of emails from people with blogs who want me to look at their stuff, and I'm sad to say that I very rarely email anyone back.  I just want to let you all it's not personal, and that I do, indeed, read every email and look at every site.  As a token of good faith, here is one such entry, from a website called Boston Sportz.  And remember, that's sportz with a Z.

Again, everybody: please don't take it personally if I don't write back.  You're all beautiful, unique snowflakes.  Especially the Boston fans.