In today’s Morning Links, we linked to two stories about the return of Back To The Future to the pop culture landscape, four whole years before holographic sharks and the Chicago Cubs as a legitimate baseball team. The most exciting story involved Nike creating the power-lacing Marty McFly shoes from Back To The Future II as part of a fundraiser for the Michael J. Fox Foundation and Parksinson’s Disease research. I was hoping the campaign would go all the way, bringing back Pepsi Free and making Thomas F. Wilson drive into huge piles of manure, but we just got the next best thing.

In the latest video, Oklahoma City Thunder star Kevin Durant (clearly beefing up his comedic timing to prepare for Space Jam 2) heads to Hill Valley’s Lone Pine Mall to buy shoes from Saturday Night Live’s Bill Hader and ends up running into Doc Brown himself. The best part of the video is that it kinda works in continuity with BTTF2, and explains where Christopher Lloyd’s character would’ve gotten a pair of shoes to give Marty in the first place. Hopefully they’ll do a follow-up with Kobe Bryant that explains how Doc Brown learned to put Jennifer to sleep.

Anyway, the whole Nike/Back to the Future campaign is for a great cause, and there is literally nothing sadder in our world than Michael J. Fox trying to make it through video thank yous, so if you’re the type who makes enough money to buy futuristic space shoes, bid on a pair of these. Wear them with pride, and remember, they probably aren’t going to work on water unless you’ve got power.

[h/t The Basketball Jones]

Sports

Daunte Culpepper to Resurrect the 49ers? - It’s weird to grow up during a time when a team is winning championships and everyone loves them, then fast forward twenty years and see those same people cheering for whoever wins now. I knew about 50 49ers fans when I was in elementary school, and I don’t know a damn one now. [Smoking Section]

I’m Here To Help You Guys: The KSK Fantasy/Sex Mailbag - Seeing somebody with the handle “Footsteps Falco” makes me revisit how terrible an idea it was to call myself “Brandon” on this blog. I should’ve picked something crazy and/or from Super Smash Brothers. Also, my real name is Jeff. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

John Gotty’s Top 20 Sneakers of All Time - Sneakers count as sports. My list would just be “Vans shoes, but those aren’t really sneakers” and “the blue and black Shaq shoes that looked like crap and were made out of the same sh*t they use to make snow shovels”. Oh, and British Knights. [Smoking Section]

The Rock Tweets a Photo from the Set of GI Joe 2 - Also technically not sports, watch as a living action figure pretending to be an action figure shows everybody what he looks like as an action figure. The results? He kinda looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin. [Moviefone]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 8/15 - The new trend in Best and Worst of Raw feedback is to say “be careful you don’t do [random writing thing], or you’ll end up terrible like [other person who writes]“. One guy told me I was too much like Bill Simmons. Man, if I could get that rich and oblivious writing jokes about wrestling I’d do it in a heartbeat. [With Leather]

Jason Hatcher Gets Stuck In An Elevator - Nothing really happens, but the idea of a pro football player being so upset about an elevator malfunction that he repeatedly tweets about how he’s shaking his head is hilarious. This is a quick read, so flip through it. [With Leather]

JIM THOME POSSESSES 600 TATERS - I ALMOST WROTE PROSSESSED INSTEAD OF POSSESSED BUT DIDN’T THINK OUR READERSHIP WOULD BE THAT FAMILIAR WITH CASTLED VANIA. (yes, there is a Dugout about this on the way) [With Leather]

It Must Suck to Be Sergio Garcia - In addition to being as happy as Bill Simmons, my career goal as a blogger is to do something notable enough to have four orange, boney MILFs follow me around in public. It might put me through a second puberty. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Stacey Carosi Got Fired (And Bonus Kelly Kapowski GIF Collection) - My girlfriend loves “Saved By The Bell” so much that she owns the entire run of the show on DVD (including the College Years) but refuses to watch the beach episodes. She hates them, and rightfully argues that Saved By The Bell is stupid if they aren’t in school. So what I’m saying is Stacy can get f**ked. [Warming Glow]

Help Name Kevin Smith’s Fans! - There are some unbelievably fantastic choices in the comments for this, including “The People Who Always Look Like They’re Going To Comic Con” and “Ordinary Clown Posse”. My submission is “people I was friends with ten years ago”. [Film Drunk]

U.S. Presidents Have Never Been More Awesome Than in the Art of Jason Heuser - These are great, though I feel the world has been a little too influenced by that picture of Bea Arthur choking out a velociraptor. Now everything’s gotta be bad-ass and irreverent. Does anybody paint Abraham Lincoln these days if they AREN’T planning on making him fight monsters? [Gamma Squad]

10 Formerly Fat Actors Who Need to Go Back to Being Fat - Sara Rue should be on this list. I don’t care how confident you are about Jenny Craig, you were way cuter when you were chubby, and my copy of Gypsy 83 confirms it. [Pajiba]

The true measure of an NBA star is how he handles his downtime. While players like Ron Artest are staying busy with a stand-up comedy tour and proposed appearances on “Dancing With The Stars”, Carmelo Anthony has gone above and beyond: He’s in China, holding panda bears and doing Chinese Opera Mask Dances with Chris Paul. Which would you rather do, hold a panda toddler or wear glitter tights and fox trot with Casper Van Dien?

Anthony, Paul and Dwyane Wade (who coincidentally all have white guy first names for last names) are on a Nike-sponsored tour of China to promote “specific editions of their signature products that takes inspiration from the Chinese culture as well as the athlete’s style of play”. More specifically,

To celebrate the tour, Jordan Brand created three special edition colorways for Anthony, Wade and Paul’s signature shoes. The shoes were based on Chinese Opera Masks and incorporated the characteristics of each athlete to pay homage to Chinese culture. Each colorway is tied to a specific story that is connected to Jordan Brand athlete’s Fly Around (Quick), Fly Over (Air), and Fly Through (Explosive) silos.

I challenge you to find quickness, explosiveness or air in this video. Well, finding air might be easy.

I want a shoe that takes inspiration from the Chinese culture of holding panda bears.

[h/t Sportress of Blogitude]

Today’s the hard sell, as our free fantasy baseball game through Draftstreet takes place today and is COME ON something you should sign up for. I’m going to put that link in every second word. I wanted to get today’s reminder up early, as a lot of you leave work early during the summer and because more than one person (including me) has had to go back in and replace Rickie Weeks. He hurt himself, and will miss 2-6 Rickies.

But yeah, the big major link is SIGN UP FOR YOUR GAME TODAY! It’s fun, it only takes a few seconds and gives you a shot to win free money for doing squat. Also (and this is a lie) if you sign up it removes all further mentions of the game from your With Leather feed.

Elsewhere on With Leather

Seattle Mariners’ Losing Streak as Told by Sad Dogs - Honestly, the most wonderful thing we put up all week. I can’t wait until basketball season gets itself going so we can work a “The Cleveland Cavaliers Are Baby Sloths” feature every week. [With Leather]

The Dugout with Charles Bukowski -be sure to take a whiskey sh**
this dugout will be arriving soon
and it will want you to give it to her [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 7/25 - I spent last night at TNA/Impact Wrestling’s live show in Austin, and I can say without reservation that I’d enjoy doing The Best and Worst of Me Talking To AJ Styles About Air Paris. And if that gets enough readers, one about me talking to Mickie James about Richmond Lucha Libre and making her laugh, causing me to feel awesome and cool for the first time in my life. [With Leather]

Sports

The KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag - “You’re in. I suggest taking her to a Phillies game. You can tell her all about how you admire Chase Utley’s grit while denigrating Ryan Howard’s laziness.” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Coming Attractions: Air Jordan 2.0 Wolf Grey Release Date - I’m gonna pretend like I’m hip enough to turn With Leather into a lifestyle blog where I can talk about shoes and hats. I’m also going to pretend like I could wear these cool shoes and not look like a creep. [Smoking Section]

Fedor Will Retire When God Tells Him To - I love this guy, and not just because you could put him in a blonde wig and he’d look exactly like Randy The Ram. Don’t retire, Fedor, just fight more giants and cicus folk! [Cage Potato]

Not Sports

10 Awesome Celebrity Swimsuit Looks in Movies - This list begins and ends with Salma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn. One of those times you can go back to and think “wow, a human being actually looked like this”. [Unreality]

Guess Who’s Bizzack: 20 of Rap’s Best Comeback Albums - I know you guys aren’t buying me as a rap aficionado any time soon, but I would be so happy with ten more years of Dr. Dre releasing half-assed singles that are nothing but Y’ALL SAID MY ALBUM LATE, Y’ALL MADE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF that boil down to nothing more mature or complex than “Who Said We’re Wack?” [Smoking Section]

If Breaking Bad Starred Bill Nye - Also notable, “If Mad Men Starred Beakman”. Lester the lab rat would make a pretty spot-on Harry Crane. [College Humor]

Former $100 Million Dollar Directors Who Are Now Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel - Yet somehow Michael Bay makes RACIST ACTION FIGURES THE MOVIE every summer and lives in a mansion made out of golden vaginas. [Pajiba]

In a sentence that no man should have to write, athletic shoe company “LeBron Jordan” is suing LeBron James and Michael Jordan for $150 million each for “poisoning its [good] name in the press.”  The cordwainer (look it up) claims that reps at Live Nation and Nike sunk a multimillion dollar, Amalgam Comics-quality footwear deal by calling them idiots (more or less) and threatening to sue.  The case is expected to rage throughout sports media websites until it is inevitably dismissed with a wanking motion by a county judge.

LeBron Jordan, Inc. (an incorporated company) points out that nobody trademarked the words “Lebron” and “Jordan” together, and “you could not even find that name combination on Google.”  I want to be in the court when this goes down, just to have one of the crazy LJI guys stand up and yell, “but there isn’t even anybody NAMED LeBron Jordan, your honor!”  In addition to name combination finding-out, Google can be used to view the LeBron Jordan website, wherein you find out they make high-tops out of old Super Nintendos.

This lawsuit is sure to rock three of the four LeBrons to their core, and is the worst non-personal, non-Miami-Heat-related thing to ever happen to them.  It’s pretty bad for Jordan, too, ranking somewhere between accidentally wearing a Hitler mustache in an underwear commercial and having his father murdered.

For more information, please Google the words “TMZ” and “basketball” together.

We’ve finally found a shoe worse than Dwyane Wade’s, and you’ll never believe it, but it’s made for women. It’s officially called, if I can read the card here, the “Grey Ant x Teva Stiletto,” available in both black and natural colors, and it’s the perfect accessory to sexy up a woman that never shaves her legs.

It’s the classic Teva® Hurricane sport “mandal” re-imagined as a STILETTO. This co-branded effort sees Grey Ant marrying the Teva® velcro-strap styling and grip-sole construction to a bold 4″ stacked heel. They’re calling it the most comfortable, performance high heel on the planet — we call it the most daring mash-up of the decade. This is anti-fashion at its purest. And so good when paired with socks.

via The Daily What.

Oh, I forgot the best part: they’re only $330! Why settle for one pair when you can get three, four, or even five! Ugh. It’s the socks that really ruin it for me. Nothing kills an environmentally-conscious chub like socks.