Two offensive linemen from the Dallas Cowboys started a metal band last season, but the band has since grown, with the goal of producing an album before the start of training camp.
“Cowboys right tackle Marc Colombo is the lead singer and guitarist. Right guard Leonard Davis plays bass. Backup guard Cory Procter is on drums. [...]
Colombo and Procter are the original members of Free Reign. Last year, they set up inside the team’s locker room for a mini-set that prompted Davis to learn the bass his wife bought him a few years ago. Chapman came in after hearing them play over the winter.
“He’s the professional musician,” Colombo said of Chapman.
You can listen to the band on their MySpace page, and as metal bands go, these guys are pretty good, but they have a ways to go before they make it to the big time. Kinda like the actual Dallas Cowboys.
|Dallas Morning News, via Ben Maller|
Well, I’m sure these are selling like hotcakes. If there’s anything that burnout hippies love, it’s the gladiator-like intensity and bone-crushing hits of the NFL.
On second thought, I can see the crossover appeal: people who swear that Jerry Garcia is some kind of God are just as obtuse and impossible to speak to as the most obnoxious die-hard sports fans. So the lesson is, if you see someone wearing one of these shirts, kill them. Kill them dead. Immediately. No jury will convict you.
The year was 1981. America was swept up by a Ronald Reagan who still had most of his mental faculties. New Wave was moving in on the Disco Era, white people had moved on from quaaludes to cocaine, and some enterprising producer sought to create a rightful heir to The Village People. And so there came to be The All Sports Band.
The sheer ridiculousness of it was overwhelming. You had a baseball player, kick boxer (who apparently was a hockey player in concept, but was switched when they realized skates would be pretty hard to wear onstage), race car driver, football player, and boxer. Apparently after a long day of playing their respective sports, they wanted to rock out a little…
They never toured, and never released another album. In fact, interest in the album they did release was so low, that it hardly shipped to stores. Most copies that exist are promo editions that were sent to radio stations.
This is precisely the sort of thing for which “EPIC FAIL” was coined. They didn’t just fail. They failed spectacularly. In the 1980s. That’s amazing to me. I thought every horrible idea was just accepted blindly in the ’80s. Shoulder pads in women’s jackets, Ewoks, trickle-down economics… and yet there was no room for the All Sports Band. If any of these guys are still alive, they’re turning tricks for closeted drunks in a highway underpass. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
(thanks to Upstate Underdog, video after the jump) Read the rest of this entry »
