Last year Shawne Merriman had 17 sacks in 12 games; this year he has 5.5 through ten.  Granted, sacks aren't the sole indicator of a good season for an edge rusher, but it's safe to say that he isn't having the best season of his career, regardless of what he's saying publicly.

In a related development, Pro Football Talk paired up a photo of Merriman from May 2005 (before he was caught for steroids) with another photo taken two years later, after his steroid suspension.  And… you're never gonna believe this, but the beast who got a ton of sacks in '05 and '06 has no neck and gigantic shoulders, while the guy who got blown up by Maurice Jones-Drew looks like he lost about 20 pounds of muscle.

So, what did we learn from all this?  Well, for one, steroids make you stronger.  And also that Shawne Merriman did steroids.  And halting your steroid use results in the loss of muscle.  That's three things we never knew before today!  Wow!  Pro Football talk really does break all the best NFL news!

FACT-Y UPDATE: Looks like PFT screwed the pooch yet again.  In other news, Terry Bradshaw is still alive and Brett Favre is still playing.  Pity.

Of all the NFL games yesterday, this is by far and away my favorite highlight: Shawne "Lights Out" Merriman getting blown up by the Jags' Maurice Jones-Drew on this David Garrard touchdown pass.  Merriman has nine inches and sixty-five pounds on Jones-Drew, but while Shawne enjoys seeing over people's heads at a concert, human bowling balls like Jones-Drew can easily get leverage on tall folks coming on the strong side blitz.

I like to pretend that after this play happened, MJD stood over Merriman and did the "Lights Out" sack dance.  And then had sex with his mother. 

[Kissing Suzy Kolber; FanHaus] 

Probably my favorite thing about Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman (besides his awesome sack dance, his artistic and cool tattoos, and his quiet pride during last year's bogus "steroid" suspension) is the fact that he just seems like a nice, down-to-earth guy.  I'm pretty sure he's dumping champagne on this chick for a local charity.  Or maybe her hair's on fire.

What I'm trying to say is, despite all the millions of dollars and psychotic aggression on the field, Shawne Merriman is your typical Tom Hanksian Everyman.  Therefore I highly recommend pouring alcoholic beverages on women's heads.  It apparently works for even the most regular of regular joes.

[Bossip] 

In what is either a really interesting story or just another reason to fire up the ol' Rumormobile, Internet sleuth Tony points out that Canadian porn star Tiffany Towers — whom I've never head of until just now, honest — has a MySpace page that lists Chargers linebacker/steroid user Shawne Merriman as one of her top friends.

What does this mean?  Has Merriman been spending part of his off-season in well-weathered parts of Canadia?  Or are he and Towers just humping?  Answer: it's possible!

Let this be a lesson for all you young bloggers out there: nothing is too pointless to blow out of proportion, especially if it gives you a reason to post a picture of a porn star.  I didn't get where I am today by posting facts, that's for sure.  Of course, where I am is a halfway house in Brownsville, Texas following six months of self-destructive crystal meth addiction.  No one ever said keepin' it real would be easy.

The catfight between the Dolphins' Jason Taylor and the Chargers' Shawne Merriman is reaching fabulous new heights. Taylor, who claimed that Merriman's steroid suspension earlier this year should preclude him from consideration for Defensive Player of the Year, is likely the non-steroid-using favorite for the award. And now Merriman has fired back:

"I sent him a 'Lights Out' hat and a 'Lights Out' T-shirt and a bag of popcorn, so he can watch us in the playoffs."

Ooh, burrrrrrrrrrrrnnnn.

Merriman then added, "I also sent him four cycles of nandralone so maybe he can play at my level." Merriman finished his press conference by nailing Zach Thomas's sister.

Well, well, well. Lofa Tatupu has just been named last year's "Defensive Rookie of the Year not on Steroids." Shawne Merriman, the Chargers' edge-rushing, game-changing linebacker, has been suspended for four games for steroid use, and he didn't even get the chance to make the "but it was a weight-loss supplement!" excuse favored by other users:

Merriman's positive test was "definitely for steroids … not one of those supplement deals" said a source with knowledge of Merriman's suspension.

In a related story, Merriman was found guilty of wearing a faux-hawk and has been sentenced to live out his suspension in the trendy hipster neighborhood of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where he can grow to hate the haircut.

While I'm kicking a guy who's down, I should note that his "Lights Out" sack celebration is quite possibly the worst in sports. You're "turning off" your light switch tattoo? Terrifying! Interacting with a two-dimensional image is just sad. And completely unsatisfying. Just ask the Kathy Ireland poster I had in high school.