We’re a bit late to this whole Tila Tequila-Shawne Merriman dustup that happened over the weekend, but here’s what we know so far about the relationship between the Pro Bowl linebacker and the woman who’s really not hot enough to be famous anyway: Tequila, whose real name is Tila Nguyen, tried to leave Merriman’s place on Sunday morning. Merriman wouldn’t let her go, saying she was intoxicated. Nguyen would later sign a citizen’s arrest warrant with the San Diego County Sherriff’s office, citing battery and false imprisonment.
Deputies responded about 3:45 a.m. to Merriman’s house in Poway, north of San Diego, after a woman called to say she was choked by the player and thrown to the ground when she tried to leave, Sheriff’s Department spokesman Jan Caldwell said at a news conference. via.
And so Merriman spent two hours in jail. Deputies later confirmed that Tila Nguyen had been drinking, a notion that she would later refute on Twitter, claiming she was allergic to alcohol.
In a tweet Sunday, Tequila said: “I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila “Tequila” cuz the irony. I cant drink.”
[She also tweeted,] “Steroid use makes people act aggressive….known fact,” presumably a referance to Merriman’s known steroid use. via.
It’s hard to believe that someone nicknamed Tila Tequila would actually try to claim that she’s allergic to alcohol, but that’s my fault for expecting a reality TV star to realize that we actually use the brain that she takes for granted. I always trust the steroid-crazed idiot over the Vienamese TV whore idiot. Call me cynical…
MLB -The Rays regained a bit of breathing room in the AL East with a 9th inning rally off Jonathan Papelbon. Down 4-3, pinch-hitter Dan Johnson, who arrived from a Triple-A call up 30 minutes before the game started, homered to left to tie it, then two batters later Dioner Navarro doubled in Fernando Perez to give Tampa the lead. The win marks the first road victory by either club in their 14 contests this year…The Mets padded their lead over the Phillies as well thanks to the second straight two homer game from Carlos Delgado. Meanwhile Carlos Beltran reached 100 RBIs for the third consecutive year as New York downed the Nats 10-8…The Twins’ 7-2 win against the Royals, coupled with the Blue Jays’ doubleheader sweep of the White Sox has Minnesota back within a game in the Central…Albert Pujols homered for the third game in a row to help the Cards to a 4-3 win against the Cubs, losers of eight of nine. Uh oh, they’re not gonna do it anymore!…And the Dodgers got five runs in the final two frames to stretch their herculean lead in the NL West to two and a half games.
Golf - Former phenom-to-be Michelle Wie is gonna have to tough it out in Q school. If that doesn’t work out, there’s always the stripper academy, though the head mistress there is a bit of a bear.
NFL - Shawne Merriman was on less borrowed time then we all thought. A week after trying to make a go of playing with a torn ligament, he’s having season-ending surgery to repair it. And Chris Simms signed with the Tennessee Titans, leaving them with the best shirtless QB corps in the NFL (They’ll have to work on Kerry Collins).
AL - The final series in Yankee Stadium between the oligarchy of douchiness in the AL East goes decidedly in the Red Sox favor again, as the Sox get four RBIs apiece from Jason Bay and Dustin Pedroia (via his first career grand slam) in an 11-3 win… The always dangerous Melvin Mora continues to wreak vengeance against a world that shunned him. The O’s third baseman homored for the eighth time in August, while Brian Roberts drove in three runs to help avoid a sweep… Matt Garza and the Rays spoil an impressive outing by the Jays’ David Purcey to win by a 1-0 margin, capped by a great catch by Justin Ruggiano. Yeah, he’s excited… The Twins snap a four-game skid to stay within a game of Chicago in the Central.
NL - Ryan Zimmerman homered for the first time since May and the Nats are on the verge of sweeping someone for the first time since… ever? The Dodgers, lead by the winless-with-L.A. Maddog, dropped their season-high sixth straight. Matt Kemp had a chance to give L.A. the lead in the 8th. Down one with the bases loaded and two outs, he flew out meekly to left… That Tim Lincecum sure is good. He should play for a Major League team someday… Carlos Delgado matched the league lead with his fifth multi-homer game of the year to propel a late Mets rally in Philly…After dropping seven in a row to the Brewers, the Cards notch one in their favor in the teams’ final contest of the year to pull within three and a half games in the Wild Card race.
NFL - Shawne Merriman, possessing the natural intelligence of any former Terp, has decided to forgo surgery in favor of playing with torn ligaments in his left knee. This is a guy who plays in the same division as the Broncos, even. Enjoy being cut down permanently by that first chop-block, big guy.
Correspondent Mike Tunison got his first field assignment for With Leather working the Maxim Hot 100 Party in LA last week. (Suck on THAT, Washington Post.) Below is his report.
Being a sports blog that focuses on skateboarders taking face plants and other assorted sexiness, it only stands to reason that we'd be extended an invite to the Maxim Hot 100 party in L.A. last week. The annual party fetes the members of the magazine's highly scientific list of the hawttest women in the world, many of whom had much better things to do (presumably being sexy) than attending this party. But quite a few random celebrities and regular unfamous hot women were, so starfuckers and drooling pervs like myself had plenty of people to uneasily approach and pretend to talk with.
We, that is myself and a band of mostly PR people representing Axe (Ed. Note: Buy their outstanding men's products!), arrived in a limo around nine at Paramount Studios, where the party was set in a four-block outdoor set of simulated New York cityscape. The set nearly captures the Big Apple, but it just can't get the self-importance right. The crowd was still fairly thin, so one of the PR guys and I made our way to one of the open bars where they served whatever you wanted, so long as Hennessey was in it. It was there we happened upon Gus Johnson, CBS' resident screamo college basketball announcer.
We have a few minutes of polite convo with Gus, interspersed with him craning his neck at the varied and multitudinous pooners. "There are so many fucking hot women here," he tells us, in a non-yelling tone I don't recognize. I agree then ask what he's up to in the off-season and he replies, "I got a 4-year-old, man." After concluding Gus Johnson is pretty cool and running through the five things I had to ask him, I wander off.
It being an L.A. party, the dance floor is empty and people are mostly talking while scanning the place for famous people. One of them, Bai Ling, kindly obliges the crowd by strutting over to the empty dance floor and proceeds to grind by herself for about 15 minutes, because she's apparently 12 kinds of crazy, not to mention a terrible dancer. I'd had enough drinks to feel the need to film it for a few minutes.
With more insanely hot women about and free drinks to make them approachable enough to ogle at close range, I pressed on. I came across Masi Oka, of Heroes fame, B.J. Novak from The Office (didn't get arrested), Bill Maher (was in fact smug), Robert Horry hanging out following the Spurs' Game 1 loss to the Lakers (didn't sucker punch me), Will.I.Am and Ufford's bete noire, Jeremy Piven, giving a couch full of ladies a sense of the fisting that was to come.
A half dozen Hennessey cocktails moved the evening on apace. Eventually the dance floor filled, not necessarily with people dancing so much as standing at closer quarters and occasionally gyrating. There, I happened upon Shawne Merriman, one of the few people giving the dancing thing a try. Between songs, I introduce myself as a fellow Maryland alum and I ask if Philip Rivers is actually as much of an asshole as he comes across, to which Merriman gives a polite chuckle and thankfully doesn't rape me.
The Axe people want me to talk with Stacy Keibler, who is promoting some new line of something or other for them. She makes friendly and I say something barely intelligible through my drunken haze. A guy with us from Thrillist later says she's not much more than another slightly above average tall blond. In another context, it might be snotty, but in the high seas of hot ass that is the Maxim party, it's hard to fault him.
The party begins dying down around 1:00 and we make our way back to the limo. I hear that I missed Vince Vaughn, who was being a dick, and Jenn Sterger, who was probably being Jenn Sterger. I reach for the bottle of Goose in the limo to keep the party going.
Chargers linebacker/steroid user/creator of a dance about a light switch Shawne Merriman is short one car today; his beautiful Mercedes was stolen. Fortunately, police were able to find it before Merriman even reported it gone. Probably because it was in flames on the side of the road.
The 2006 sports coupe, valued at more than $180,000, was engulfed in flames when officers discovered it about midnight Thursday in Emerald Hills off Bethune Court, said San Diego police spokesman Gary Hassen.
The car was sitting on top of plastic milk crates, and all of its wheels were missing, Hassen said.
Gosh, that's terrible. Of all the jackasses I would want this to happen to, Merriman's not even in the top 5. There are at least six, maybe even seven or eight pro athletes who deserve this more.
(Thanks to Nick for the tip)
Last year Shawne Merriman had 17 sacks in 12 games; this year he has 5.5 through ten. Granted, sacks aren't the sole indicator of a good season for an edge rusher, but it's safe to say that he isn't having the best season of his career, regardless of what he's saying publicly.
In a related development, Pro Football Talk paired up a photo of Merriman from May 2005 (before he was caught for steroids) with another photo taken two years later, after his steroid suspension. And… you're never gonna believe this, but the beast who got a ton of sacks in '05 and '06 has no neck and gigantic shoulders, while the guy who got blown up by Maurice Jones-Drew looks like he lost about 20 pounds of muscle.
So, what did we learn from all this? Well, for one, steroids make you stronger. And also that Shawne Merriman did steroids. And halting your steroid use results in the loss of muscle. That's three things we never knew before today! Wow! Pro Football talk really does break all the best NFL news!
FACT-Y UPDATE: Looks like PFT screwed the pooch yet again. In other news, Terry Bradshaw is still alive and Brett Favre is still playing. Pity.
