We’ve talked about it all year, and it’s finally upon us … Wrestlemania XVIII happens in Miami, Florida, this weekend, and by the time you read this I’ll be on the scene to bring you up-to-the-minute live notes, reports, interviews and perspectives and/or taking mark photos with the Funkasaurus.
It’s Wrestlemania and you want to talk about it, so I’ll skip the hype. After the jump you can find the complete card and a series of polls asking you to select who you think will come out in top in the event’s big matches, so after you’ve made your choices, drop down into the comments section and earn a +Rhodes or two explaining your picks.
You may also earn literal +Rhodes for participating in the weekend’s discussion. More on that at the end.
Get unprecedented access into The Rock and John Cena’s incredible journey in a special hour-long documentary tonight at 8/7 CT on USA Network. Then later tonight on Raw, Rock and Cena will meet for one more live in-ring confrontation before WrestleMania.
Or, I don’t know, skip the documentary and watch the two hours of video packages that follow it.
- This is the last (important) stop on the Road To Wrestlemania, so expect a lot of major things to happen! Hahaha, just kidding!
- Poll of the week:
- Last week we had a weird error where the site wouldn’t let you post comments on the reg and gave you “SLOW DOWN INTERNET GUY YOU’RE PARTICIPATING TOO MUCH” messages. That problem has been addressed and solved, so let’s get this bad boy back up to the 2,000+ monster it was.
- I’m going to be at Wrestlemania this weekend (section 138 … stop by, say hi, bring a With Leather sign!) so the tentative Best and Worst schedule looks like this: Best And Worst Of Raw tomorrow, Best And Worst Of Wrestlemania X-7 on Friday. A “Best And Worst Of Wrestlemania Weekend” for Monday morning (I’ll be on a plane for most of Monday), Best And Worst Of next week’s Raw written by comedian Chris Trew for Tuesday, and Best And Worst Of Wrestlemania 28 proper by me on Wednesday. Other festivities will hopefully be announced soon.
- My personal Mania weekend schedule, should you want to catch up with me: ROH on Friday, WrestleReunion Saturday morning/afternoon, WWE Fan Axxess on Saturday night to catch up with all the NXT and Funkasauric people I love. Marlins/Yankees on Sunday afternoon, Mania on Sunday night. Jet lag and writing cramps all other days and times.
- Remember, the top 10 comments from tonight’s open discussion thread will be featured in tomorrow’s Best and Worst Of WWE Raw report. That makes you an Internet celebrity by proxy! You’re even more important if you tweet this report, retweet it, share it on Facebook and get all your wrestling friends to come hang out and make jokes.
- To nominate a comment for one of the top 10 of the night, be sure to reply with +1. That’ll make it easier for me to differentiate between the 18-or-so comments we get instead of the usual 2,000 because of a server error.
- Don’t be afraid to leave a comment on this report. We’ve build a great community of intelligent, funny wrestling fans and you should be a part of it, because seriously, you aren’t gonna find it anywhere else. Don’t post your comments too fast or they might not show up, because our server is run by Angelfire and is from 1995.
- Big thanks again to Casey/THESTINGER for helping me out with gifs and pictures. Be sure to visit his gifs Tumblr for the stuff I didn’t use. We’re gonna get that kids in the crowd tumblr on the Internet, buddy!
- If you’re going to be at Wrestlemania this year (or in Miami for Wrestlemania weekend, at least), make sure you let me know so we can find each other and say hi. Section 138, if you’re wondering. Also probably ROH on Saturday afternoon, and Axxess that night. Both Chickbusters are going to be there, it may be my Waterloo.
Please to enjoy the Best and Worst Of WWE Raw for March 19, 2012.
Pre-show notes, written to one guitar ditty over several hours:
- Don’t be afraid to leave a comment on this report. We’ve build a great community of intelligent, funny wrestling fans and you should be a part of it, because seriously, you aren’t gonna find it anywhere else.
- Big thanks again to Casey/THESTINGER for helping me out with gifs and pictures. Be sure to visit his gifs Tumblr for the stuff I didn’t use. We should just start a Tumblr of “kids at wrestling shows” gifs.
- Pardon my lateness and my weird updating, I’m covering SXSW for UPROXX. If you’re in Austin this week, give me a shout.
- If you’re going to be at Wrestlemania this year (or in Miami for Wrestlemania weekend, at least), make sure you let me know so we can find each other and say hi. Section 138, if you’re wondering. Also probably ROH on Saturday afternoon, and Axxess that night. Mark photo with Brodus Clay pending.
Please to enjoy the Best and Worst Of WWE Raw for March 6, 2012.
According to TMZ and every tabloid with TMZ on Google alert, a “secretly filmed” Hulk Hogan sex tape is being offered up for sale to the various high-end porn jockeys.
We’ve seen a portion of the grainy footage — featuring Hulk getting undressed and a naked, unidentified brunette lying on a bed. The woman is NOT his ex-wife Linda or his current wife Jennifer McDaniel.
To make this slightly less disgusting, I’ve gathered together ten jokes/talking points to share with your friends, should you accidentally drop “Hulk Hogan sex tape” into conversation and need an out.
1. I didn’t know Brooke Hogan was ever a brunette.
3. This is the grossest thing he’s ever done without the Nasty Boys. (Alternate joke: This gives new meaning to the term “Nasty Knobbs”.)
4. Did he bring along Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake along with him to help him f**k this woman?
5. At the end of the tape it looks like he’s about to finish, but he starts shaking and pumping his fists and walking around in a circle … when the lady asks him what’s wrong, he makes an o-face at her, points, yells “YOU!!” and keeps nailing her.
- Welcome to my second ever Best And Worst Of WWE [Insert Older Pay-per-view Show Title Here] report. The first effort, in case you missed it, was last month’s Best And Worst Of Royal Rumble 2000. That went over pretty well, even if it burned me out so much I couldn’t do a report for the 2012 edition, and Elimination Chamber is only a few years old so let’s consider “February PPV” time sensitive.
- Comments are appreciated. Clicking “like” is appreciated, tweets and retweets are appreciated, showing and sharing this to and with the people you know are appreciated. Older show reports are sketchy because nobody’s googling for them, so our traffic goes way down and they take like 80 hours to write, so why bother? But I WANT to write them, so if you support them and make them a success, I’ll keep cranking them out. At least make me popular enough to do a Best And Worst of that Glory Days Of Wrestling tin I bought at Half Price Books for like negative 2.99.
- Don’t forget to come back on Sunday and participate in our open discussion thread for Elimination Chamber 2012, happening live. I won’t be around for it, as I’ll be at ACW’s show in San Antonio, but I’ll be back in time to skim through and steal your jokes.
- A.J. was only three years old when this pay-per-view happened so she is not featured, but don’t worry, this is when the Divas were nearly naked 24/7, so if you’re That Guy you’ll enjoy it anyway.
But for now, please enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE No Way Out 2007.
According to 
