Yesterday, while discussing Shaquille O’Neal’s foray into the comedy biz with The Comedy Shaq Network, I included a video of a recent sketch that Shaq taped with comedian Godfrey and sex tape superstar Hulk Hogan. It turns out that video was recorded backstage during a TNA Impact event, and that makes perfect sense, because Shaq and Hogan have a long history of friendship that dates back to the 1994 Bash at the Beach, held at the Orlando Arena when O’Neal was with the Orlando Magic.

Shaq was on hand to present the WCW Championship belt to the winner of the main event match between Hogan and Ric Flair, and if you have never seen that match or don’t remember it, here’s a quick recap – Flair strutted, Hogan did that hand twirl thing, Flair got slapped in the chest and fell down, Hogan was seemingly defeated but he got back up and suddenly became invincible, and then Hogan won because he has the most powerful right leg in the universe.

But the biggest thing that came from this event (aside from Steve Austin retaining his U.S. Championship, of course) was the friendship of Hogan and O’Neal, which led to an amusing promo that people still bring up now and again because of its “Hey, remember this?” charm.

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Shaq expressing his comedic legacy on the set of Grown Ups 2.

At some point during the summer, Shaquille O’Neal launched his latest attempt at staying relevant outside of being an NBA analyst for TNT in The Comedy Shaq Network, which is devoted to showcasing famous and unknown stand-up comics alike, as well as random sketch comedy. According to the extensive collection of videos that Shaq has been posting for at least a year, before and leading up to the launch of his new network, it seems that Mr. Diesel is basically trying to launch a new version of Def Jam, which is fine as long as Shaq doesn’t start calling himself the Big HAAAAAAAMBURGER.

But it wouldn’t be a Shaq effort if he didn’t take shots at current NBA players or former teammates so people like me would shout, “Oh no, he did not, female friend!” and his latest video target is none other than the Big Footstep Follower, Dwight Howard. In a video posted yesterday, presumably at a comedy and/or strip club, Shaq gave a little impromptu rap for some friends, as he ripped on Howard for once again copying his career moves.

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With NBA Media Day out of the way, we can finally pay attention to the important stuff like Shaquille O’Neal still crapping all over new Los Angeles Lakers center Dwight Howard. After previously declaring that Andrew Bynum was a better center than Howard, Shaq is now telling anyone who will listen to him that Brooklyn Nets center Brook Lopez is better than Howard, too.

Can we just fast forward to the premiere of 30 for 30’s Broke 2: The Shaquille O’Neal Story?

“Listen to what I’m saying. I’m not talking about dunking, I’m talking about playing like a big man with the moves. My man, before he had the foot injury, was putting up nice, solid big man numbers. He don’t have a lot of flash, a la Tim Duncan, but he can play. If you put him with a nice team around him, you can get a lot from this big man. Like if you want to go to go to flash and dunking and the pick and roll, you gotta go with Dwight Howard. But me, the last true original dundaughta (slang for big timer), I’m going with Andrew Bynum and which Lopez? Brook. Brook Lopez.” (Via ESPN)

I give O’Neal credit for trying to make it sound like he’s being analytical and not just a dick. He is being a dick, though. We all know he is. But that’s the fun of Shaq being an NBA “expert” now for TNT – he gets a platform from which to make fun of Howard for completely replicating O’Neal’s career, sans the NBA titles and MVP trophies. Those may come in due time, though.

Howard, to his credit, remains all smiles since being traded by the Orlando Magic to the team that he said he wouldn’t play for, and that grin was ear to ear during Media Day. While he promised that he’d finally grow up and take the game more seriously, Howard did what he does best and hammed it up for the L.A. media, as he and his Lakers teammates provided some of the more colorful Media Day photos of the week.

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LeBron Iver

People send and Tweet a lot of links to me each week and the results range from tame and general to bizarre and borderline terrifying, but every now and then somebody shows me something that just makes me giggle with delight, and that’s good for everyone. That happened the other day when a friend passed along the Tumblr site Indie Basketball, which, as the name implies, combines popular indie bands with NBA stars. Simple and sweet.

But more than anything, I’m a sucker for puns, so that more than makes up for my shameful lack of knowledge when it comes to who some of these bands are. For example, Bat for Lashes? No clue. But Bat for Nashes? That’s a giggle-maker right there. So let’s get the pun machine rolling with some of our own names (that aren’t exactly indie bands, I know):

Earl the Pearl Jam
Houston Rocket from the Crypt
Kids in Glass Eddie Houses
King Charles Barkley
Franz Vasquez Ferdinand
P.J. Donnell Harvey
Heypenny Hardaway

Damn, that’s some fine punning right there. I’ve included some of my favorite Indie Basketball efforts after the jump, but don’t let that stop you slick hipsters from suggesting your own with your favorite Bright Eyes and Wolf Parade jams playing in the background.

*picks Frisbee off of lawn, keeps it*

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There is no way Family Feud wrote this question thinking nobody would say “penis”. Family Feud writes questions like NAME SOMETHING THAT RHYMES … WITH GENUS and tells Steve Harvey to act all exasperated. (via That NBA Lottery Pick)

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Links

The Best Of ‘Happy Endings’ #Penny Hartz — (Uproxx)

20 Greatest Non-Sporting Moments Of The 2012 London Olympics Immortalized In GIF Form — (Uproxx)

Breaking Badass Power Rankings: ‘Dead Freight’ — (Warming Glow)

Holy Crap, Miami Heat Porn Star Oral Celebration Actually Happened — (With Leather)

Ultra-Realistic ‘Futurama’ Art Is The Best Kind Of Nightmare Fuel — (Gamma Squad)

Yes, You Care: Kim Kardashian In A Teeny Red Bikini — (Smoking Section)

Peter King Draws No Conclusions From The Preseason, Other Than The Ones He Does — (KSK)

8 Husband-Wife TV Arguments That Stung As Much As Your Own Parents Fighting — (Pajiba)

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Here’s the explanation for why a guy would get “I SLEPT WITH SHAQ” tattooed across his face, in case you don’t know about “gonzo journalism”.

[The] tattoo across his forehead truly seals his gonzo credentials. Removing his Raiders cap, he displays it, sprawled in oddly formal cursive: “I Slept With Shaq.” He got the ink during a contest for Lakers NBA Finals tickets in 2001, a challenge presented by Power morning-show DJ Big Boy. Gonzalez showed the handiwork to Shaq — who was impressed — and Big Boy soon gave him a job at the station.

First bit of advice: don’t try to get a job from anyone named “DJ Big Boy”. (via The Basketball Jones)

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Links

Live Q&A: Jay Chandrasekhar And Kevin Heffernan Of The Babymakers |Film Drunk|

The Very Best Of 30 Rock’s ‘Doctor’ Leo Spaceman|UPROXX|

Breaking Badass Power Rankings: ‘Fifty-One’ |Warming Glow|

5 Steps To Understanding Bronies |Gamma Squad|

10 Instances of Cheryl Burke Looking Gloriously Thick |Smoking Section|

Peter King Questions A City Without Starbucks |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Usain Bolt Is A Gangster And A Gentleman |Smoking Section|

You Can Have You Own Batcave Home Movie Theater For Only…Well, Actually, It’s Pretty Damn Expensive |Gamma Squad|

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