A certain celebrity tabloid blog, if you will, gave us this footage of Shaquille O’Neal facing off against Oscar De La Hoya for Shaq’s new TV show, “Shaq Something-or-other,” who’s actually 5-feet-10-inches tall, but looks like an anorexic Oompah-Loompah next to the Man of Stealing Food From Ben Roethlisberger. C’mon, think about how much FATTER Big Ben would have been if he wasn’t hanging out with Shaq for five days. Ben’s like the white Elvis Presley. Wait, Elvis was white. via.
So Shaquille O’Neal’s poor excuse for an offseason training regimen debuted on ABC last night, and it wasn’t totally terrible. I watched the whole hour, which already answers my next question of why anyone would make that show an hour long in the first place. Notable moments in the show? Aside from Shaq’s fish-out-of-water routine on a football field? Nothing. On the show next week: your mom. Well, it may as well be, because I’ve given up on this show. I broke even on my first one-hour investment, and that’s as far as I’m willing to go.
Half-assed recap of last night’s show: Shaq and Ben Roethlisberger each took three turns quarterbacking different teams in what basically was a college-football overtime, only Ben started from the 40 and Shaq from the 20. Both “quarterbacks” scored TDs on their first two possessions, then Shaq was picked off (on what was blatant PI) and Ben threw a third TD pass for the win, though I’m 90 percent sure that the receiver didn’t have a second toe down in the end zone…
So there’s that show that nobody’s talking about, “Shaq Vs.”, where Shaq challenges other famous athletes in their respective sports. Yeah, supposedly Shaquille O’Neal stole that idea. Which is amazing. I guess this is why they call him the “Man of Steal.” Somebody took his clever pills this morning.
dd Gallagher alleges William Morris Endeavor Entertainment — the agency repping Todd — approached him to turn his book “Andy Roddick Beat Me with a Frying Pan” into a TV show sometime last year … then hijacked his idea and turned it into “Shaq Vs.”
Todd’s book was based on him competing against professional athletes who agreed to play with handicaps — such as Roddick using a frying pan instead of a tennis racket. via.
Shaq’s camp has not commented. One time I was in the park with this woman and she told me about her “dream date,” and when she broke up with me I asked out her best friend and then did everything on that dream date with her. And then she calls me later that night sobbing about how I could do that do her. I said the only thing she told me to say in a spot like that. “Sorry, Mom.” Oh, man. That one kills my psychiatrist every time.
I’m stunned that after all this “If Shaq couldn’t get into the White House, who could?” talk that nobody has brought up the most legendary instance of such a thing actually happening. Elvis Presley, The King, did the very same thing O’Neal did, only 29 years earlier. It was rock n’ roll’s monarch asking to meet America’s commander-in-chief, for what would be one of the great odd couplings of the 20th Century. And he got in. Read the rest of this entry »
Shaquille O’Neal made his debut in the universe of pro wrestling yesterday, appearing as the guest host for World Wrestling Entertainment’s (nee WWF) “Monday Night Raw.” Shaq also appeared as the…if I can read the card here…Celebrity Guest Enforcer for a tag match between Big Show (pictured) and Chris Jericho against the delightfully stereotype-laden Cryme Tyme.
As Big Show was about to choke slam Cryme Tyme, he dropped them, and called Shaq to the ring. Shaq and Show got physical both going for choke slams. The fans went absolutely nuts as the two had fantastic charisma in the ring together. Neither man took the slam as Cryme Tyme came back in the ring to break up the altercation. via.
One of the biggest problems pro wrestling has had since rival WCW’s collapse and subsequent buyout in 2001 has been getting mainstream attention of casual fans. Most of us have watched pro wrestling at one point, understand it, but don’t really go out of our way for it. WWE Chairman Vince McMahon’s idea of bringing in celebrities to host his cornerstone “Monday Night RAW” has fit the bill; even the hosts that have sucked have brought in press. Jeremy Piven is slated to host next week, which kinda pisses me off. If they keep this up, I’ll have to start watching wrestling again. img.
The addition of Shaquille O’Neal to the Cleveland Cavaliers obviously overshadows the subtraction of same from the Phoenix Suns. And now a report from Tim Povtak on Fanhouse indicates that the influence of Suns point guard Steve Nash was one of the primary reasons Phoenix pulled the trigger on the five-player deal that sent Shaq to Cleveland:
According to an NBA source, Nash expressed his displeasure with O’Neal during a meeting last week in New York with general manager Steve Kerr.
Nash, still one of the best point guards in the NBA, will become a free agent after this season if the Suns can’t sign him this summer to a contract extension.
“I think he told him [Kerr] that if O’Neal was there, [Nash] wouldn’t be around much longer,” said the NBA source who requested his name not be used. “That pretty much sealed it.”
Obviously Shaq’s lumbering presence in the lane doesn’t really mesh with the run-and-gun style that the Suns have been known for of late. But also consider that Phoenix missed the playoffs last year and that O’Neal is scheduled to make $20 million in ‘09-10, it makes even better sense for that team. And think how much legroom is freed up on the team bus now. Yeah, Steve Nash rules that team with an iron fist. A girly, Canadian iron fist, but iron nonetheless.
