Now that the NBA has given all of the remaining playoff teams a well-deserved night off, instead of, you know, scheduling the games accordingly so that fans could watch their favorite stars play every night, we get to sit back and enjoy some games tonight. And since the Miami Heat play, we’ll hopefully get some more Chris Andersen antics for Shaquille O’Neal to talk about on TNT tomorrow night since he apparently loves talking about the Birdman.

That Shaq, such the comic genius. I, for one, can’t wait to see him return to the big screen in Grown Ups 2. In fact, if TNT could show that Grown Ups 2 playoffs ad more than it already does, I’d be so incredibly happy. It’s great to see Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade and Kevin James openly acknowledging how they play the same character in everything they’ve ever done. That’s true comedy.

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During the late 1990s and early 2000s, anyone related to a pop singer could become a success. Britney Spears’ little sister got her on television show, the little brothers of Backstreet Boys got record deals, Jessica Simpson’s uglier, somehow even less talented little sister got her on television show AND a record deal, the list goes on and on. One of the touchstones of late-90s pop nepotism (popotism? I should write for Pitchfork) was the two platinum albums (!!) of Aaron Carter. He rode the fame of his older brother Nick to temporary heartthrob status, so much so that one time I happened to go to Kings Dominion on the same day Aaron Carter was performing and didn’t get on ANYTHING because every square inch of the grounds was covered in homemade t-shirted 11-year olds. It got pretty bad, for a while.

Anyway, Aaron’s greatest achievement was his attempt at a Will Smith Vs. Mike Tyson-style rap showdown with then-Los Angeles Lakers star Shaquille O’Neal. In the song, Aaron brags to his friends about how he beat Shaq. It’s called ‘That’s How I Beat Shaq.’ It wasn’t written by Dostoevsky.

Here’s a quick recap, in case you missed it:

It’s like boom (boom)
I put it in the hoop
Like slam (slam)
I heard the crowd screaming
out jam (jam)
I swear that I’m telling you the facts
Cuz that’s how I beat Shaq

Thanks to some wonderful combination of God existing and TruTV, Aaron Carter and Shaq got together recently for a rematch, and it went a lot like it should’ve the first time. Justin Bieber, get ready for a harrowing look into your future. You’ve got campy videos where people try to remember you and Kim Kardashian coming up in like 13 years.

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For ‘Gangnam Style,’ it was Jimmy Johnson. For the ‘Harlem Shake,’ I’m gonna go ahead and call it for Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq did the dance thing that is not the Harlem Shake dance with the Blanche Ely Boys Basketball Team, and it’s the most wonderfully half-assed thing ever. So, congratulations, Shaq. You’ve done it. Give the man a round of applause, everybody. (via Prep Rally)

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Gruden Talk: Jon and Herm Discuss the Sequester With Former White House Chief of Staff Erskine Bowles |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Say what you want about actor/comedian Will Ferrell – he’s washed up, past his prime, a shell of his former self, he should have stopped after Anchorman, he should take a few years off to come up with a new project that would totally wow us, The Campaign was awful, he yells too much, the only people happy about Anchorman 2 are aging frat boys* in need of fresh happy hour material, he plays the same character over and over – but I still love the guy.

Between his random Old Milwaukee Super Bowl ads, the Knife Guys with Baby Goose and his announcing work at that New Orleans Hornets game, he’s a nice second fiddle to the even more awesome Bill Murray, whose mustache at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am was other-worldly. And last night, Ferrell reminded us why he’s the king of surprise cameos when he showed up to an incredibly boring game between the Los Angeles Lakers and Phoenix Suns and played a security guard named Ted Vagina.

The Lakers ended up winning 91-85 thanks to a strong double-double by Dwight Howard, but Ferrell “ejecting” Shaquille O’Neal from the game was definitely much more entertaining.

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For my money, there’s no greater MS Paint artist in this generation or any other, for that matter (suck it, Picasso), than our own Danger Guerrero. His efforts within this specific medium have been unparalleled over the decades that I’ve known him, and I believe that he has no less than 75 works currently hanging in the Smithsonian and the Louvre. Do not quote me on that number, as it may be off just a tad.

However, despite the important life lessons that we were given by The Highlander series, there doesn’t have to be only one, and I recently stumbled upon the works of another outstanding MS Paint artist (pronounced ar-teest) who sadly remains anonymous at this current time. But like most great reclusive artists of the last several centuries and great artistic periods, this unknown person got his or her start on Tumblr, with the site “Great NBA Moments”.

Sure enough, this collection of artwork re-captures some of the greatest moments in NBA history through the stunning use of basic colors and brushes that only MS Paint can provide. Included in these incredible works are Michael Jordan’s iconic game-winning jumpshot, Dirk Nowitzki’s three-pointer in Game 5 of the 2011 NBA Finals and even the cover of the video game masterpiece, Shaq Fu.

Short of Larry Bird sharing a milkshake with Skeletor or any of the sketches that we’ve previously viewed from the artists at Double Dribble, this is probably the best NBA art that you will see this year. While there are many more beautiful works available at Great NBA Moments, I have included some of my favorites in this week’s With Leather Wild Art Gallery.

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"OH NO HE DIDN'T!"

As we’ve previously discussed, one of the latest post-NBA projects of legendary center Shaquille O’Neal is the Comedy Shaq Channel on YouTube, which he is apparently trying to turn into a new version of the classic Def Jam series. And that’s great because he has a lot of funny comedians making videos for him, and he still has millions fans who are somehow still entertained by his goofy behavior. Included in that behavior, though, is his incessant need to pick on Dwight Howard, and it just does not get old for the Big Dead Horse Beater.

In a video for his new series, “Ask Dr. O”, that he posted yesterday, Shaq responds to this Tweet that he needs to stop “hating” on the Los Angeles Lakers’ newest center.

Shaq is a former professional athlete now employed by a network to be an analyst, and he won multiple championships in his career. That said, can you guess how Shaq justifies his endless criticism of the NBA’s biggest clown? That’s right – his rings. But he also makes an interesting point, too, so let’s analyze.

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