Martha Burk is going to have to find something else to fill her time with, as the wrinkled old bros at the Augusta National Golf Club have finally broken down and admitted two female members. In what is being heralded as one of the biggest moments in the history of women being allowed to play golf at a place that formerly didn’t allow women to play golf at – Pulitzer, please – Augusta’s chairman Billy Payne announced in a statement that Condoleezza Rice and Darla Moore would be getting lockers next to White Richington, III and the Monopoly dude.

“This is a joyous occasion as we enthusiastically welcome Secretary Condoleezza Rice and Darla Moore as members of Augusta National Golf Club,” Payne said in a statement. “We are fortunate to consider many qualified candidates for membership at Augusta National. Consideration with regard to any candidate is deliberate, held in strict confidence and always takes place over an extended period of time. The process for Condoleezza and Darla was no different.

“These accomplished women share our passion for the game of golf and both are well known and respected by our membership. It will be a proud moment when we present Condoleezza and Darla their Green Jackets when the Club opens this fall.

“This is a significant and positive time in our Club’s history and, on behalf of our membership, I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome them and all of our new members into the Augusta National family.” (Via USA Today)

I can’t wait until Rice and Moore show up to play their first round of golf and some old dude walks up to them and asks for a club sandwich and some cold beers as a joke to make all of the other 1-percenters laugh. Mainly because two days later, Rice will have that guy’s testicles wired to a plane engine in the deepest hole in Gitmo, as some Jason Bourne type drips battery acid on his forehead every morning before plying his toe nails away one at a time.

So congrats, women!

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Let’s face the facts, guys and dolls – if you’re short a Y chromosome, there’s just no way you can like baseball for the right reasons. At least that’s what I’m taking away from the blogosphere’s website of hatred du jour, Baseball Boyfriend, which asks the question: “Who’s your Baseball Boyfriend?” Basically, while the men are off at work, earning the total household income, the ladies at home – nursing, cleaning and preparing food – can have their own fantasy baseball fun by “dating” a baseball player of their choice. I pick Steve Garvey!

If you’re unfamiliar with this Baseball Boyfriend idea, here’s the basic gist from what seems to be a Dan Gilbert-designed website:

Baseball Boyfriend doesn’t replace your current fantasy baseball experience or simplify it in any way. It’s a side game that you can play at the same time. While you are playing in your normal league, can have a Baseball Boyfriend off to the side. To play, you’ll need to be a part of a CBSSports fantasy baseball league.

In fairness, I’m just poking fun at yesterday’s Twitter rage, as the public response to this idea has just been hilarious. Women think it’s sexist and guys who consider themselves modern and progressive-minded also think it’s the online equivalent of clubbing a girl over the head and dragging her back to a cave. But I just don’t see the big deal, because almost all of us know a girl who has filled out a March Madness pool sheet based solely on cute uniforms or players. Hell, I’m surprised this isn’t coming straight from MLB.com.

In fact, I see this as a relationship builder, if anything. As the description states, a girl has to be in a CBS Sports Fantasy Baseball League, too, so her man is going to have to help her create a league. Haha, what’s that, honey? Your desired screen name is already taken? Well I’m sure you can live with I’mASamanthaXOXO143~I<3Pinterest2. Now quiet down, the game is on.

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