Links

Australia Is Getting DC Comics License Plates? From The 80s? - One day I’ll live in a happier world where I’m able to drive a car and let people know how much I love the comic Prez at the same time. [Gamma Squad]

Now With Us, The Very Public Face Of Grief - I’m happy to have KSK around for stories like this. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

I Can’t Stop Looking At This - Matt Ufford reveals that he doesn’t find America’s Next Top Model’s Allison Harvard attractive, an issue that causes us to come to blows in real life. I don’t care what elite fighting force you were a part of, I will go down swinging. [Warming Glow]

38 Seconds - In all seriousness, though, With Leather wants to wish everybody out there a happy Veteran’s Day. Be sure to check out Uff’s latest piece on the veteran experience, because it’s pretty goddamn outstanding. [The Classical]

Endurance Football, Or, Football Played On A Mile-Long Field - I love everything about this, and am calling dibs on a roster spot should a real game of it ever go down. [SB Nation]

Mark Henry 2010 Vs. Mark Henry 2011 - It’s amazing how far you can come in a year. Also, “Mark forgetting how chasing works” is one of my shoot favorite wrestling moments ever. [Fair To Flair]

Apparently Asteroids Will Have A Writer - I hope this is a success so I can finally get my gritty, reimagined Pitfall! pushed through. (spoiler: it explains why the alligators are there) [Film Drunk]

12 NBA Young Guns To Watch (If There’s A Season) - You can’t just be any geek off the street. You gotta be handy with the steel, if you know what I mean, earn your keep. [Smoking Section]

DMX On Dr. Drew’s ‘Lifechangers’ - He should feel DMX’s testicles on-air to see if they’re real. [RealTalkNY]

First Listen: Childish Gambino – ‘Camp’ - If you haven’t heard it yet, NPR is streaming the entire album for free. ‘That Power’ is my favorite song of the year. The rest of the album is a close second. [NPR]

PWO Four Year Anniversary Video Preview - There are few things in this world I miss more than Cleveland. Check out this retrospective to see who all those Oh-Bro indy wrestlers I’m namedropping in my Best and Worst of Raw column are. [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

Quote Of The Day: Gina Carano Says Fighting An Opponent Feels Just Like Having Sex With Them - I would like to fight Gina Carano. Just saying. [Cage Potato]

Like this, but with just a little more sexual tension.

Skydiving instructor Alex Torres has found himself out of a job and under investigation by the Federal Aviation Administration after a recent stunt that he pulled off with the help of Skydive Taft administrative assistant, Hope Howell. Last weekend, the duo woke up early and took off in a company plane for a little tandem dive… *plays Barry White song* … and they had sex all over the sweet morning sky.

Torres, who I should also mention is an adult film star known as “Voodoo,” and Howell began having sex in the plane before jumping out and continued bumping uglies a few thousand feet over the city of Taft, California, all to get the attention of Howard Stern. And while no police charges are being filed because “no one complained,” the sex act apparently upset one teenage boy, and now the FAA is investigating Torres and Howell because:

“Anyone who allows an activity to occur that could affect his or her ability to concentrate on flying the aircraft or could result in the pilot being physically jostled or lose control of the aircraft could constitute a violation of federal aviation regulations.” – Ian Gregor, FAA Spokesman

Oh come on, Bobby Buzzkill. This is just the man trying to keep us down and flaccid. All that’s happening here is a case of a kid who didn’t like the mean man choking the woman’s bottom mouth so he told on them. And last time I checked, you can’t really punish two people for doing something that there’s not really any proof they did. It’s not like there is video of the whole thing going down.

Haha, just kidding, there’s totally video.

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t like quoting The National Enquirer as a reputable source, but when a story like this breaks you have to share it with everyone you know — according to the Enquirer, Joe McGinniss’ upcoming book Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin features claims and confirmation that the former governer and Vice Presidential nominee hooked up with three-time NBA All-Star Glen Rice circa 1987, when he was still in college and she was an Alaskan sports reporter. Glen Rice had sex with Sarah Palin. That is today’s actual sports news.

From the story:

In the book, which will be published on September 20th, McGinniss claims Sarah had a steamy interracial hookup with basketball stud Glen Rice less than a year before she eloped with her husband Todd.

Sarah hooked up with the NBA great, then a 6-foot-8 junior at the University of Michigan when he was playing in a college basketball tournament in Alaska in 1987, the book says. At the time, Sarah, just out of college, was working as a sports reporter for the Anchorage TV station KTUU.

A publishing source told The ENQUIRER that McGinniss claims Sarah had a “fetish” for black men at the time and he quotes a friend as saying Sarah had “hauled (Rice’s) ass down.”

I don’t even know what that means.

I guess the premarital sex is sacred unless you’ve got a chance to hook up with a basketball player. And despite a “fetish for black men at the time” (good job seeing black people as people and not things, Presidential Hopeful), Palin ended up marrying the whitest guy on the planet, and none of her brain damaged kids — and I’m talking about Bristol here, don’t get me wrong — get to paternally claim the stars of NBA Jam. Does Rony Seikaly know about any of this?

In case you’re ready to believe Sarah Palin when she goes on TV later and claims the story is an “out and out fabrication” perpetrated by some portmanteau word combining “media”, “liberal” and “spend-o-crat”, don’t … at least one of the people snuggling in that sleeping bag on a cold, mooseless night in 1980s Alaska is confirming the rumor.

In the book, McGinniss quotes Rice as confirming the one-night stand.

What’s next, are we gonna find out that Manute Bol nailed Michele Bachmann?

[h/t Deadspin]

Sports

NBC Buys 80′s Wrestling Drama from The Rock - Matt Ufford gave me a shout-out in this, and he’s right; my personal career goal is to have the people in charge of this show find my Best and Worst reports, realize I’m the man for the job, put me in charge and let me turn it into an actual NWA 80s wrestling show without any confrontational family moments or walking conversations. [Warming Glow]

Kevin Durant’s Summer Blossom Has Hip Hop Roots - By the time the NBA comes back, Kevin Durant will have like six championship rings. I don’t know how it’s gonna work, but it’s gonna happen. [Smoking Section]

Henry Winkler F’n Loves Fly Fishing - And he’s very good. [Adult Swim]

Brandon Marshall Has All The Crazy - Worth reading if only for those pictures of Marshall making that face. That’s the face I make when I’m trying to concentrate and not die in video games. Maybe he got stabbed in the mouth. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

With Leather

Female Reporter Wants Her Butt Signed - ESPN is like five years away from doing this. Rachel Nichols is just gonna whip out her junk one day to hoots and it will have happened so gradually we won’t notice. [With Leather]

Athletes Take to Twitter for the Great East Coast Earthquake of 2011 - Read this, then go back and click the Buzzfeed link in the intro where everybody blames the earthquakes on gay marriage. I didn’t know getting gay married turned you into one of the Teen Titans. [With Leather]

LeBron James Is Like A Dead Kid From A Movie I Once Saw - The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter isn’t a great movie, but if you don’t give this post a bunch of hits I’m comparing Andy Dalton to Return To Oz, and I promise you it’s not nearly as solid a connection. [With Leather]

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 8/22 - Update: I won’t be doing Best and Worst of Smackdown this week, as I’ll be on a plane to Virginia while it’s on. I will, however, do a Best and Worst of Super Duper Live Smackdown next Tuesday, even though that’s when I’m on the plane back. [With Leather]

Not Sports

16 Rejected Titles for Toy Story - The person who suggested “Rex’s First Movie” should’ve been fired on the spot. I bet it would’ve had “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind in the trailer. I hope John Lassater’s response was “we aren’t making the f**king Rugrats” and a slap across the face. [Film Drunk]

7 Famous Album Covers Featuring People Who Didn’t Want to Be There - Who sues Dido, honestly? She’s been through enough. One time her boyfriend stuffed her in the trunk and drove her off a bridge. [The Smoking Jacket]

The 11 Worst Songs to Have Sex To - This is pretty funny, but my biggest pet peeve ever: people who identify a song by saying an entire line. The song isn’t called “in the arms of an angel”, it’s called “Angel”. Even worse is calling it “that in the arms of an angel song”. Consider your ass McLachlan’d. [Buzzfeed]

Classic Video Games As Stage Plays - I’m almost too old to think this is funny, but I’m not there yet. The Duck Hunt clip isn’t great (other than the pre-existing Duck Hunt sound effects), but I’m gonna say that Donkey Kong play is probably hilarious. [Gamma Squad]

In news that makes me feel considerably better about Dale Earnhardt Jr., Dale Earnhardt Jr. announced Wednesday morning that he would not have sexual relations with a woman (or, by proxy, a man) with Dale Earnhardt Jr.-themed tattoos. Apparently, this is a thing. The racing star was a guest of the Dan Patrick Show yesterday, and because Dan Patrick literally could not give a sh** about sports, they talked about this. I mean, they also talked about him losing the No. 8 when he left Dale Earnhardt Inc. for Hendrick Motorsports, but he said it “didn’t bother [him] too much” so this is the important part.

Earnhardt Jr.: “No! Heck no! I mean, I just couldn’t.”

Patrick: “What if somebody is so hot, but she’s got Jimmie Johnson’s number on her?”

Earnhardt Jr.: “Ugh! That’d be a deal-breaker, easy. I mean, Jimmie is my buddy and all, but still…”

Patrick: “What if she’s got your Dad on her back, and he’s got angels wings?”

Earnhardt Jr.: “Sure, that’d be fine.”

I wish the line of questioning had continued, with Patrick asking “okay, so what if the girl models for Hawaiian Tropic, but she’s got this tattoo of Tony Stewart where he has mumps or something so it makes him look like Bubba the Love Sponge” and so on until he got to the big one, “would you sleep with a girl who know who you were and was into NASCAR?” and Dale had to sorta sigh and meekly confess, “no, I’m rich a famous and can sleep with regular girls”.

[h/t to Jeff Gluck @ SBN]

“God said, ‘Go out and multiply.’ He did not say, just have two or three kids,” Pacquiao preached.

That’s the reason congressman and World’s Best Boxer Manny Pacquiao is opposing a bill that encourages the use of contraceptives and family planning in the Philippines. As this blog does not have a liberal agenda~ I will note that his stance is favored by the Catholic Church and that 80% of Filipinos are Catholic. God, an omniscient being who most favors early-90s African-American mother Bébé, could not be reached for comment.

In another interview, Pac Man explains why if he’s gonna eat it, he’s gonna eat everything.

“It’s sinful to use condoms and commit abortion. My parents were poor… they had four children, it was very difficult but we persevered.”

I’m not sure how much of that perserverence involved Filipino venereal disease, but Manny did run away from home to become a boxer after watching his poor dad kill and eat the family dog, so I won’t dispute the guy. You’d think the struggles of being poor and dealing with thinned-out resources would encourage someone to NOT have babies, but I’ve lived in the American South too long to believe in reason. I just think you’ve got to be in a weird place to have sex with a woman, finish inside of her, and then get disappointed when you don’t get her pregnant. That is some kind of crazy awesome Duggar Family fantasy life.

[H/T Larry Brown]