In case you weren’t aware, New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries married Kim Kardashian over the weekend, in a wedding ceremony that reportedly cost close to $18 million. Of course they didn’t pay for any of it themselves, because E! wants to be able to call everything they paid for an exclusive and that RU486 advertising money has to go somewhere. In all, I wish just one of the helicopters flying overhead had been loaded with napalm.

As The Superficial points out, it’s pretty bad that an $18 million wedding didn’t include first class airfare for the groom’s parents. Mom and Pop Humphries, as well as Kris’ sister Kaela, flew coach from Minnesota to attend the lavish wedding, and while I can’t prove it at all, I’m going to assume that Khloe Kardashian spent $1 million on a private jet to take her from the couch to the car.

But the biggest news from the weekend had nothing to do with the wedding. Instead, it’s all about how Kim became famous in the first place – porn. The website that hosts Kim’s infamous amateur sex tape experienced quite a boost in traffic.

Read the rest of this entry »

Try not to make the same face Shaq is making when you read this next sentence: Seven gang members allegedly kidnapped, beat up and robbed a record industry scout who claimed to have security cam footage of Shaquille O’Neal having sex with women other than his wife. Well, okay. LAPD detectives interviewed Shaq to determine what, if any, involvement he had in the alleged crimes, and while Shaq wasn’t listed as a suspect the case file went to the District Attorney, it is pretty awesome to imagine Shaquille O’Neal at the head of a gang roundtable in some hotel ballroom, chewing out some random Crip for taking notes during a motherf**king criminal conspiracy.

The assault victim/blackmailer is Robert Ross, famous for “delivering Ray J” to Shaq and being “cut out of the deal”. Isn’t that just like life? You find out Brandy’s little brother is a sort-of poor man’s Usher, and the rapping basketball star won’t give you money for it? Wait, I’m sorry, that’s f**king nobody’s life.

More, courtesy of TMZ:

Ross told cops after his falling out, he threatened Shaq by telling him about the sex tape, threatening to release it unless Shaq paid up.

As for the tape, Ross claims Shaq brought women to Ross’ home and had sex with them while he was married to Shaunie. Ross told Shaq a “security camera” captured the action and it was all on tape. But Ross told cops the security camera recycles periodically and the video no longer exists.

And there’s another twist. Around the time Shaq and Ross had their falling out, Shaunie separated from Shaq and Ross claims he began having an affair with her. Ross claims Shaq hired a private investigator to tail Shaunie and the P.I. caught the two together.

So a guy gets his ass beaten for making threats he couldn’t back up to Shaq (if the security camera “recycles periodically” how long could you have had the Shaq sex tape, guy, was it an afternoon), then comes up with newer, different reasons why Shaq should still do what he says. Good job, Robert Ross. Next time you hit up a Pink Dot, make sure it isn’t full of Crips in Shaq jerseys.

Last we heard from adult actress and dipsh*t business entrepreneur Devon James, she had been accused of paying boxer Teneal Goyco to dress up as Tiger Woods as part of her fantasy to sleep with the embattled golfer. The result of that plot was believed to be James’ alleged sex tape that she claims she has had for much longer. Well now it seems there’s not even a sex tape with a fake Tiger, but that’s not stopping James from trying to profit in general.

Devon and her husband Nick James have filed for bankruptcy in Florida (where the hell else would these people live?) and in doing so have admitted that there’s simply no sex tape at all. The problem with that is – at least to sticklers of things like the law – they’re still selling a sex tape on their web site and collecting money for it. That’s called fraud and now the James Gang(bang) is being investigated by Florida authorities. You know, once they’re done filing restraining orders against the son of God.

Hey Chicago Sun-Times, wanna buy my sex tape of me and my sock… er, I mean, Rachel Bilson?

Read the rest of this entry »

Back in June, adult actress Devon James jumped in on Adultererpalooza when she claimed to not only have had an affair with Tiger Woods, but that she made a sex tape with the embattled golfer and that he was also the father of her 9-year old son. Since then, a Florida judge told James to take a hike after she failed to show for a paternity case to prove her claims, and now a Philadelphia boxer is telling people that James and her husband hired him to film a sex tape with her because he looks like Tiger. Dude, happens to me all the time with Brad Pitt.

Teneal Goyco claims that Devon and Nick James asked him to film a sex scene with her for $10,000 because she had a fantasy involving Tiger, so Goyco said, “Sure I will have sex for $10,000” because he’s a man with an operative brain. But Devon is denying this claim, as she says Nick would never let her film a sex scene with another man. At least he has morals.

Tell us where the bad people touched you, Courier Mail:

Read the rest of this entry »